Married Young in the Military?

Question

I am engaged to a wonderful man in the army but because we are only 18, people put down our relationship and underestimate the longevity. Why do they do that? As far as I know, there are many people who marry young in the military and they love each other very much, but somehow, we are not taken seriously at all. They look at us like we are a bunch of kids. Why? I think it just depends on maturity and love relationship.

Answer 1

Igot married young and in the military.back in 1975 and i am still married to the same wonderful gal,she was 17 and i was 18,i would say let your heart decide.i am so glad i did.go for IT.

Answer 2

There are several reasons for this,

Military marriages can have a high rate of failure because of the unique stresses and hardships that a couple can face when one is in the military. It can be hard for a wife to handle everything that comes along in a family on an everyday basis all alone while the husband is deployed for sometimes years at a time.

Additionally, because of this seperation, and the high stress of combat active duty military face it can lead to a couple growing apart and distant from each other. Married couples lean on each other and depend upon one another and with forced seperation they are left with a void

High intensity combat has a phycological cost for the soldier and can take years for them to recover from the stress. This can add a lot of stress and tension to a relationship when they return. The soldier has experienced things that are horrible, and it is hard for someone who has never lived in it or seen it to understand it. So Communication can beomce a large problem.

Combine all this and then factor in a young age, and relative inexperience and this is why people will think the deck is stacked against you. It is not personal. It is because over time all of this will take a toll on a family. Only the strong survive, and many fail. Go into it with eyes wide open and be strong and be ready to face the challenge. I hope you make it. As many make it as fail, so remember the deck is not entirley against you, I'd say it is an even bet.

Good Luck
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Answer 3

I and my wife married young when I was in the military she was also eighteen and I was twenty three,but as you stated she was very mature for her age,but it isn't just that depending on what branch of the military your husband is serving in there is a lot of separation that comes with being the spouse of a military person I served in the Navy,and I was already in the Navy,when I met my wife and stationed aboard a ship already getting ready to deploy in five months after we married,and I do not care how much love and maturity you have long separations are tough on even the most seasoned marriage with years under there belt its still tough and I am talking from experience myself.
And at your ages you are a bunch of kids it is that simple okay they don't mean anything by it,it is just a fact so it just does not depend on love and loving relationship not in the military there is a whole lot of baggage that comes with it and one is the biggest one being separated for a long time and if you can handle that than you will be okay if you can't than that is just one of the problems you are going to encounter besides being lonely,temptation the whole nine yards and it comes with the territory and if you think it won't happen to you than you are really fooling yourself okay so do not set yourself up like that good luck and I wish you both all the best and if you need help coping do not be afraid to contact your Ombudsman or woman every unit has one.

Answer 4

Because of the society we live in today, people as a whole are negative towards marriage of younger people. Yes, a large number of young marriages dont make it, but the same is true for older couples who get married.
I agree with you that the destination of a marriage lies with the people involved.... and the maturity level of those 2 people. I got married right after I turned 20.. but then again, I have been on my own since i was 14 and joined the military at 17 and was back from Iraq when I was 19.
If you believe in your heart of hearts that you and him can work anything out and that you can stick by eachother no matter what... especially deployments.... then go for it. Dont let anyone tell you that you wont make it. The only people who determine that are you and him.

Answer 5

You are right. It depends on the maturity of both people in the relationship. Most couples who get married that young are not ready and they really don't know how hard marriage is. Then you are adding the fact that your fiance is in the military on top of that and that makes it even harder. I am a big believer in love and I think if you both are willing to put 100% in this marriage you can do it. You just need to remember that marriage is not a easy thing. and being married to someone in the military is even harder. If you prepare yourself for hard times and don't give up too easy you will be just fine. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 6

I wanted to get married when I was 18 and I'm happy I waited. I think the responsibility of being married causes pressure that sometimes it is too much for young married kids. Also, you have the rest of your life to be married, when your older you may look back and wish you had more time to grow up and just have fun. You think that things won't change that much when you get married, but they will, they even change a whole lot when you just move in with someone.

But with that said, you know yourself and your relationship, and you and your bf are the only ones who can really decide if your ready for this or not. If there is any doubt in your mind. then wait, you can always get married later, but getting married too soon can ruin the great thing you have going with him. Good Luck and congrats on finding someone your committed and in love with.

Answer 7

I got married two weeks after my 18th B day. My husband left for basic training 4 days later. I am not going to lie it is hard, but if you are both willing to make the commitment you can do it. I have been married now for 4 yrs. My husband has been gone for the last 16 months and is due back any day. He left when our son was only 3 months old. If I had any advice it would be don't let what other people say get to you and always make sure you communicate with one other. Best of Luck. Don't get stationed at Drum LOL

Answer 8

Hey! Congrats on your engagement, and don't worry. You will notice after a while that the people that are telling you your marriage won't work are people that arne't happy with their marriages or got married for the wrong reasons to a person in the military.
Both me and my husband were 18 when we got married and we are still facing a lot of people looking down on us because now we are expecting our first baby... I even had my Sergeant tell me to get an abortion. ( I didn't tho don't worry)
Do what your heart tells you to do and don't listen to the unhappy people. Just know you love one another and you will get through anything... even the long and hard deployments.

PS me and my hubby are both active duty USMC, good luck and enjoy your life with him!

Answer 9

I will assume your man is in the Army as a career? Military (career) marriages can be quite successful. The biggest problem is moving as one gets stationed in different places. Some are okay for couples, some not so good or not advisable. Know this going in. If it is only for one tour, it will pass and you can assume civilian problems instead (Ha). As for you being 18, so? Being young you can withstand the difficulties of military life better! Good Luck to both of you!

Answer 10

Military folks get divorced left and right, at a higher rate than the rest of the country. I have a cousin that did the military thing for a while and he told me about all that mess. It'd be best to wait a while, I thinks.