How To Be A Good Catholic?

Question

I was born and grew up Catholic. I believe in the teaching of the church, in terms of the Bible, etc. However, I don't necessarily agree with all of the political stands the church makes. Including gay marriage, abortion (I'd never have one, but I'm still pro-choice) and birth control.

Also, can I be a good Catholic if I don't believe in those political aspects of my religion.

As I'm getting older, I'm seeing the importance and the comfort the prayer and going to church provides. I also want to be married in a Catholic Church and raise my children there. I've made all of my sacraments, but I don't go to church. In the last 3 years, I've been to church for a 1 funeral, 1 baptism and 1 wedding. But, nothing else.

I want to know what I can do to help myself become a member of the church again. I know going to Mass is the best, but what else?

Disclaimer: I ask for respect. If you have a problem with my religion, please do not preach it to me. Also, I have no interest in other religions (respect them, but not for me) and I would not convert. My religion is part of my heritage. My own family is Catholic and I want to keep that tradition alive.

Answer 1

As a Catholic you are lucky to have the infallible teaching authority of the Church at your disposal. Use it. It may not agree with your view, but the truth is not something that conforms to our view, but something we should search for, find and cling to.

Read your Catechism. Check out sites like EWTN for guidance. Say the Rosary.

Cheers :-)

Answer 2

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but it seems as if you've become what's called a "cafeteria Catholic." You only want to accept certain doctrines, rather than being faithful to the entire teachings of the Church.

For example, abortion may have become a political issue, but as far as the Church is concerned, it's a spiritual matter. God said "Thou shalt do no murder," and the Catholic Church teaches that abortion is just that -- murder. If you try to pick and choose what doctrines that you'll accept or reject, you're saying in effect that you know more than God and the Church.

If you don't go to church for anything except baptisms, weddings, and funerals, that also doesn't say much for your fidelity to the Catholic faith. It's like saying, "Oh, I only eat on Easter, Christmas, and the Fourth of July." Just as your physical health would collapse in a short time, so will your spiritual health if you don't feed your soul with the Eucharist and the Liturgy of the Word.

I hope that you'll make an appointment with your parish priest to discuss the things that concern you and that are keeping you from being a fully participating member of the Church again. It sounds to me like you need some guidance and encouragement in your spiritual walk. You'll find both by attending the Mass, but there are times when you need to talk about specifics with someone who understands the Faith and how to help you grow stronger in your Catholic spirituality.

God bless!

Answer 3

Fellow Catholic here. Hi!

First off, most US Catholics share some of your challenges in accepting all of the Church's teachings, so you should not feel like a complete heretic.

Second, the Church only speaks with infallibility (with true authority) in certain situations, and most of your concerns have not yet seen such infallible remarks yet.

Third, the Church is supposed to be welcoming and a joyeous place to share our core beliefs with other Catholics. If you believe most of these, then you should not feel you have to avoid church.

So I'd recommend going to one of the smaller services once or twice to see how it feels. Try a different parish if the first feels too ostracising. Also try getting a Catholic answers book or two. Those will answer your questions very specifically.

And praying is a good thing. If you're doing that, you are already on the right path.

Answer 4

I hate to say this, and if this turns you off to the church then I'm sorry, but you can't be Catholic unless you believe everything it believes. I'm not saying you can't think for yourself. In order to think with the church you must first think.

The Gay Marriage issue deals with the idea of marriage. Marriage should be between one man and one woman. I'm all for civil Unions, and believe it or not the Church is one of the more compassionate Churches toward gay people. I know there are some that bless unions and such, but compared to the other side of the spectrum, Catholics are loose on that issue.

As for abortion, we believe it's murder. You are stopping a life that has already started being made. I heard that a baby's heart rate starts at 3 weeks (I'll have to check my sources).

Birth Control: Well, 9 out of 10 catholics use birth control even though it's not allowed. The Church bans any type of birth control that ARTIFICIALLY prevents a baby from being conceived (ex. Condoms, the Pill, the Morning after pill, etc). Programs like Natural Family Planning are an accepted form of birth control and well...family planning.

I know it sounds bad of me to say my first statement, but that's what the Church believes. Of course that is like 0.0001% of the entire picture of Catholicism. Though they are major issues, they aren't anything that seem to apply to your life. As long as you are not guilty of any of those three things, you should be fine. I would suggest praying about it, and researching, and talking to your Pastor, nuns, or other religious guides.

God Bless on your journey.

Answer 5

You are blessed by your desire to more fully know the Lord! Follow this grace and open your heart to Him.

It is not easy to be a "good Catholic", by which I mean accept all that the Church teaches, because the Church sets a very very high bar for morality. There is no compromise on issues of birth control, abortion, divorce, etc., that have proven to be very divisive. Do you have to believe all of the Church's positions in order to seek Christ fully? No - you start to seek the Lord and the Lord seeks you (Mark 7:7, Luke 11:9 and CCC 30). We do not come as perfected creatures, but rather seeking the completion of the good work that the Lord has begun in us (see Phillipians).

The best way to start seeking is to start going to Mass again. Find a Mass and a parish that is comfortable to you. I know we're supposed to go to the parish in which we live - but my wife and I live in a parish that's mostly elderly, and the message in the sermons is meant for them, so we go to a college church with people our age. It is the same Mass - actually, the one we attend is a little more contemporary as far as music goes (no organ, but a band and catchier songs) - and the preaching really speaks to our hearts especially at this point in our lives. Find a community either within your parish or within your diocese that really speaks to you and seems to open a good place to you. This is a great start because, while Scripture study is good for reproof and exhortation, community is a necessary component of our dialogue with the Lord.

You will also find others who do not fully embrace the Church's teachings on some issues, but who are open to understanding them. And you may find that, in understanding the issues, you come to accept them, or at least embrace the teachings behind them.

Bottom line - don't let your disagreements keep you away. It would be a good idea to go to confession and just have a conversation with the priest. Tell him that you have disagreements. He will likely encourage you to study the positions and understand the Scriptural and moral bases for them. He will absolutely encourage you to return to Mass. It is not the priest's place to condescend - he knows you come to Confession with a contrite heart, and that the Spirit examines your heart.

I'd love to talk more with you if you'd like - and I promise to be fully respectful because I do respect your wishing to return to the Church, and I welcome you back, my sister in Christ.

Answer 6

I'm not Catholic, but I suggest praying the rosary with sincerity. I love that prayer! Also, I've been reading a Catholic Catechism and I find it interesting and inspiring. You don't have to concentrate on the parts you don't believe in. I'm not a Catholic, so there are obviously parts of it I disagree with, but I still find it inspiring to read. I also find it helpful to study the lives of the saints. Their lives are very inspiring.

I don't know what kind of music you like, but I have a hard time finding Christian music that I really like the sound of. But I have been very thankful to find some I like, and it happens to be Catholic. There is a group called the St. Louis Jesuits that are very good. I love to listen to it.

Answer 7

For the Church abortion , gay marriage and birth control are not political views but matters of faith and morals. To the secular world they are political views. I pray you can understand the difference.

Get involved in the activities of the local parrish. There are probably all kinds of activities going on in the parrish itself and the homes of the parishoners. Last of all get involved in a regular prayer life. You might start by praying for understanding on the Churches views on gay marriage, abortion and birth control.

In Christ
Fr. Joseph

Answer 8

Well yes as you said attending mass is the most important, but you might want to try to go to Eucharist Adoration. Call your local church and see if they have Adoration. It is truly amazing. Pray to Jesus present in the Blessed Sacrament. Also as noted above Pray the Rosary, ask for our blessed Mothers intersession. Ask her to help you and pray for you. I hope that you will come back to our church. God Bless You

Answer 9

Are you a 'good person'? Do you love and respect yourself and others? No hypocrisy as far as you search your heart; and you do what is best with what you know NOW!

What more could a loving God want? Sounds head and shoulders than a lot of those other Judges out there. You can do it, and the majority of us will be cheering you on!

Answer 10

Dear Pink Love 22, you will adapt like the rest of us Catholics to
do what your conscience dictates to be right. God loves you and will guide you.
Now, say 4 Our Fathers and 10 Hail Marys.
Ego te absolvo pecata tua.