Fighting over little things...Is this okay? Serious answers only please.?

Question

My Boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. We are both in our mid-20's and we both agree that we are the ones for each other. Lately we have been arguing over the littlest things. The arguments are over such trivial things. Should I be worried? Is this normal?

Answer 1

There is a book called" Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"

Heres the review from AMAZON:

Amazon.com
Got a stress case in your life? Of course you do: "Without question, many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives worrying about a variety of things all at once." Carlson's cheerful book aims to make us stop and smell--if not roses--whatever is sitting in front of our noses. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... offers 100 meditations designed to make you appreciate being alive, keep your emotions (especially anger and dissatisfaction) in proper perspective, and cherish other people as the unique miracles they are. It's an owner's manual of the heart, and if you follow the directions, you will be a happier, more harmonious person. Like Stairmasters, oat bran, and other things that are good for you, the meditations take discipline. Even so, some of the strategies are kind of fun: "Imagine the people in your life as tiny infants and as 100-year-old adults." The trouble is, once you start, it's hard to stop.

Answer 2

Seems that maybe the two of you are not the ones for each other. Just because you love someone, doesn't make that person right for you. There is a huge difference and the divorce courts are full of them.

You should be worried, it's not normal for you to be fighting so much. Most of the time you just let little things go, they are not worth a fight. However the fact that they two of you won't do that is a big problem. Means that you are both tired of each other, that both of you realize that you are not meant to be. One of you will soon break the others heart. You can paper over the problem by going to counseling, however that will not fix the real problem...that you know he isn't the right one. Let's be honest, deep down you that that is true you just don't want to admit it. You don't want to go back out there and have to look for someone new. You would rather settle...

Answer 3

It's normal to a point. I've been married over 5 years and me and wife, though we love eachother to death, argue all the time. You name it, we'll find a reason to argue over it, its just the way its always been, be both like to debate, but, its ALWAYS been this way. If you're arguments are a new development, maybe there's more to it. The arguments might be over petty things, but maybe there's a bigger thing brewing that needs to be discussed?

You both need to sit down and talk, maybe approach him, (nicely) and assess the state of your relationship. Scary, I know, especially if maybe you're a little afraid of the response, but its good to find out if there are any issues brooding that can be resolved. You say you've been dating for almost two years, its possible either him or you are starting to get a little bored, perhaps, maybe subconciously sabotaging things.

You don't know until you sit down and talk about it. Complete attitudes, that is, suddently fighting over everything, don't change over night. If it wasn't like that before, then there's a reason for the change, find out what it is, either by taking a look at yourself and finding out why YOU feel the need to argue all the time, or, if its not you who instigates them, ask him what's up.

Answer 4

It seems normal, but I think you should still worry. From my experiences, fighting over trivial things is usually a way of letting out something that could be bothering you. Is it possible that there is a bigger problem that just needs to be talked about? Otherwise its probably just trivial stuff of people getting used to. Two years is supposedly how long it takes for people to let everything out, where you know what they are really like.

Answer 5

The thing that is bothering the both of you has nothing to do with what the arguments about.
You must find the source of the problem and focus on it.
It could be anything from money, work, a change in routine,loss of personal identity, and of course built up sexual tension.

Answer 6

Yep, pretty normal. Seems like every couple goes through that stage. Realizing it's over "little things" is the first step. Why? Because little things aren't worth fighting over & so it's probably some anxiety on both yours parts. Probably jitters on both yours parts now that you've acknowledge you are for each other.

Answer 7

when couples start to argue about little things, it is rarely about little things. worry? don't know. but you should try to figure out why? are you nervous because you feel like things should move to another stage? are you bored? have things grown stagnant? do you feel like you are missing something? hey, could be positive: perhaps you are now so comfortable with each other that you are free to criticize? have there been any changes in your lives? new pressures? mid twenties is often a time of growth, school changes, career changes--self-evaluation. be honest with each other--are you both growing? do you feel somehow held back? good luck.

Answer 8

Very normal, u've been together for 2 years, so 1st, congratulations! u both no ur the ones for each other, so 2nd, Never be worried! u an fix it up by more patience and understanding, always know little things are nothing! u can pass over them, and lough over them later.. Be loving all the time, be the most Understanding person for him, be his one, and the results will amaze u.. U should b happy not worried!

Answer 9

well I don't know that I would say it is normal, but not so abnormal either.....I guess you are in the phase of finally getting to know each other.....and it usually take up to the two year mark for you both to know how to push each others buttons so to speak.....and usually arguments start because of one thing.....either someone is doing, or not doing something the other one does or does not want them to do, sit down and talk....act like your starting to mature....you may find that you both agree that the arguments are over little trivia things......and the trivial things as you refer to them...are probably pet peeves and they are the hardest to get past...good luck

Answer 10

Maybe you need to spend a little time away from each other. Maybe you guys are getting on each others nerves. If this is the case try spending a little time w/ your friends and him w/ his and see if this works...if it doesn't then there could be an underlying problem w/ one of you and you are using the little things to thrash out.