How do I handle catching my husband jerking off to porn?

Question

I am soooo against porn, magazines, and strippers. Yet, I came home tonight and went to the computer and he forgot to close the window and there was a porno on the screen. I am so angry and I feel betrayed. How should I respond?

I am soooo against porn, magazines, and strippers. Yet, I came home tonight and went to the computer and he forgot to close the window and there was a porno on the screen. I am so angry and I feel betrayed. Our sex life has been great in the past but since I had my daughter 10 weeks ago its been crappy. I had a miserable pregnancy so the last time we really had a good time with sex was when I got pregnant on our honeymoon last June. How should I respond?

Answer 1

Kay, I completely understand how you feel. I went through this before with my husband several years back. The key is to compromise. I know you may not want to bend on this, but if you don't, it becomes secretive and shameful for him. UNLESS YOUR RELIGOUS BELIEFS ARE AGAINST IT. Then, do not compromise. Assuming they are not, talk about this. Tell him how far you are willing to go. Explain how you feel and why you feel. Ask him if everything is going well sexually for him. Maybe he'd like to try something new? Good luck!

Answer 2

Well, I have been married for quite some time. I am not sure if my husband looks at porn or not. Its never been discussed and I have not seen any signs of it on the computer or magazines etc. However, if faced with him watching porn or having sex with another woman I suppose i would pick the lesser of the two evils which is the porn. I suppose some folks need that fantasy. I am not a fan of porn, strippers or magazines either, but I guess its considered for the most part normal with most men from what I hear others talking about. Although you are against the porn etc. at least be thankful he isnt having sex with another woman. Try not to take it personally. I honestly dont think its anything personal against anyone. Some folks just need that extra action and I guess porn is the safest.

Answer 3

2

Answer 4

Jerking Off Porn

Answer 5

Are you positive he was the one watching the porn? I had a boyfriend once with porn on his comp. came to find out his BF and roomate was watching it!

Any teen boys/girls in the house?

I am sorry you feel betrayed. You should just ask him what it's about. Maybe he felt horny and wanted some fun for one, and the porn facillitated that.

I don't think you should be upset. After all, YOU have the problem with the porn. He, clearly, doesn't. If he's not out with strippers, still comes home to you at night, isn't involved in an online affair or buying underwear off women, I think you can handle a little video! I wouldn't like it a lot, either, but as long as he's not bringing it in to your bedroom, I think it's ok for him to have a way to enjoy his own self sexually.

Answer 6

You need to letv him know that you have caught him looking at stuff that hurts your feelings and is revolting. I think maybe your man is possibly not getting enough sex which is no excuse but could be a reason he is viewing this material. You need to talk to him and consider counselling if it continues.

It is completely normal for you to be pissed off if you have told him how you feel about this crap. I think he is being quite a normal healthy guy, but if he knows this hurts your feelings then he is disrespecting you when he does this.

Ask him why he is looking at this sort of material!.
Since you are married you should be the one he is attracted to only. Really if you have cut the sex issue in the last few weeks then this is your answer.

Us men are very sexual predators and we enjoy it alot so sometimes when we ain't getting it we relieve ourselves in other ways.

Consider this would you rather your hubby be jerking off to a picture on a computer or fooling around with someone else?.

Gods Bless and Best Wishes.

Answer 7

Instead of being angry you should be asking yourself why. How do you respond? First thing I would do is when your in bed together ask him if he is satisfied with your sex life is there more that the two of you can do. When you have this conversation you better be open and honest with him. Sex is very important to any relationship and if you think other wise then maybe you don't know that sex and money are the 2 biggest things that break up any relationship married or not.
The big question is how open are you sexually and can you expand your sexual horizons or does your husband just get more secretive about his masturbation. Do you confront him no because it will make things worse. You better get with the program or I see cheating or divorce in you future the choice is yours...........

Answer 8

I know you are upset but you can not make a grown man do anything he doesn't want to do by telling him you saw it it will make matters more difficult why do women think everything come into their brains they need to share it with their spouses. He probably was doing it before he met you. Another thing women never get to know their men they just fall in love blind and all I don't mean to sound mean but we cause most of these things on ourselves even physical abuse because we are so insecure and when some men know that they do anything they want to a women. Don't act like columbo. Just pray and ask the lord to give you a way for him to open up and communicate with you he could be embarassed that he even does it. We all have flaws and I wish we could be more understanding then men would tell us anything but the know the first time they want to open up and tell us something we are going to start nagging bit-----, screaming fighting acting a damn fool. Be blessed sorry if I offended you

Answer 9

I am neutral on the issue of porn; both sides make acceptable arguments. To be very honest with you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your husband watching a little porn.

I believe that no one should jump to conclusions without knowing ALL the facts. Maybe he came home, had a suden urge, you weren't home and he fulfilled it with a little assistance from the internet! NO HARM DONE!

There are so many worse possibilities than just watching a little porn, just talk to him.

Answer 10

You must must must talk to him about it. I struggle with this one too. On the one hand, porn can be damaging, its an obsession, yaddi yaddi. On the other, there are certainly worse things than porn. Is your sex life lacking? Have you two discussed porn before? If you have and he intentionally ignored your wishes, then you may have a problem. If he honestly had no idea it would offend you, then you can certainly go from there. You have to ask yourself why it bothers you, how it affects your man and is it a battle worth fighting. If he is a good attentive man, does it matter? Good luck girl, I still dont have this one figured out.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/227732/porn_the_other_woman.html

Answer 11

If all he does sexually is that and he won't have sex with you than you should be concerned. Porn is addicting also and it that happens it will not get better unless he gets help. ok men like to look but they cannot stop putting their wives feelings first by not to makeing love to her or the marriage will break up. What he did is natural unless he just likes that and no real action with you. Don't blame yourself he made the decision to do it. I would not be concerned so much if mine looked but he makes no move toward me ever. And he makes every excuse not to have sex. He never leaves the house so I know it is the porn. I am through blaming myself. Don't blame your self.