My 18-yr. old daughter left after graduation and moved in with her boyfriend in another town. She had a party in our home in that town and I feel like she totally disrespected my wishes. We gave her everything, but it is never enough. Do I just let her learn on her own or jump in before it is too late? How do I just sit back and watch her throw her future away?
2007-06-04 10:38:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sit back, watch her life go up in flames and let her grow up and deal with the consequences of her actions. That is the best thing that you can do for her. Yes, I know initially it sounds cold but that will allow her to grow up and be an adult, which will in the end make you both happy.
2007-06-04 10:44:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Ed 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My 18 y/o son did the same thing ...oh god did I take it hard knowing his future is already going down the drain before it begins. I did not feel like the world's worst mom, I felt as though my heart was torn. It is now 9 months later and slowly he realized what he did and regrets his decision and now is facing life in a different way....it still hurts knowing what he could have had however I just feel good knowing he knows he made a mistake....regardless I love him
2007-06-04 20:58:54 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get to say how you feel - once. You get to say what the rules are when visiting (eg if separate bedrooms for unmarried guests if that is your standard) You should change the locks on your house in her town, as she has abused that privilege.
You may let her be on her own as far as college tuition, car payments, etc.
Say all this as tactfully as you can and treat her with scrupulous politeness. Pray for her to hit bottom as soon and as gently as possible. Do NOT bail her out of her messes.
You may stay in touch (telephone calls, outings, if you can do so without bringing up your disagreements.) She is an adult now. If she doesn't realize that she'll find out faster if you treat her as one.
2007-06-04 18:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by beeb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard the saying you can take a horse to the water but you can't make them drink....You must trust in the way that you raised your daughter, you've done your part. You cannot jump in if you do you will push her further away...I would let her know that you are there for her....and let her know that you are not happy with the decisions she's making....
Do not turn on her let her know that you are always there for her....Good Luck....She will come around......it took me 3 years but I did eventually come around..
2007-06-04 19:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ebonee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the kid make he rown mistakes. If she can't respect what you've given her so far then she's got to learn the hard way.
2007-06-04 18:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by AyK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's 18, and thinks she knows it all... let her do what she wants... when she realizes this is the wrong thing, THEN you will be mom of the year again
2007-06-04 17:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her live her own life,when she is ready and needs you ,she will come back.just be there for her,give her the odd phone call ,and dont ask questions.
2007-06-04 18:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by champagne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋