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I love God with my whole heart but just hate it when others say its Gods will. And no im not mad at God. i just wonder how people think that will make you feel better? I lost a baby ...had a stillborn and i constantly hear its Gods will. will it be wrong if i say you know thats kind of rude if your older child died tommorrow would you like to hear its Gods will. of course i will not say it in those words but i will say yes it looks like it was his will but you know it hurts when you rub it in.

2007-06-04 09:30:25 · 32 answers · asked by jerry w 1 in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

i feel like it is rubbing it in because they are telling me what i already know. God chose for her to die. that doesnt help if the death is a accident because the person that caused the accident is going to blame themself and going to feel bad. they are going to think God is mad at them? Do you understand? My baby died because i had a blood problem i knew nothing about. i hurt because i blame myself i think why? i think why did i kill my baby and when they say its Gods will it rubs it in that i helped kill my baby.

2007-06-04 09:42:01 · update #1

32 answers

When someone loses someone close to them it's hard to know what to say, sometimes my condolence and I'm sorry just doesn't seem right. Just remember these people are trying to help and they think God is the only way to explain your loss.

2007-06-04 09:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 5 · 0 1

I guess some people see death as the end of life, but I don't. Just because their body isn't here, doesn't mean their soul isn't. I'm so sorry for your loss. I truly am. But God has a reason for everything that we don't always understand. Perhaps your child would have some terrible problems that no one could cure it of. I'm not sure and I won't pretend to know, but God is holding your child, waiting for the day you come. Just imagine where your wonderful baby is right now. In Heaven, the most beautiful place ever. The pain of losing someone, especially an unborn child, can be unbearable, but it's all for a greater good, even if we don't understand. It's not fair that it was your child. It's not fair that you never had a chance to see this baby grow, but all the good things we imagined when you were pregnant might not have happened either. I think God does everything knowing people will be angry, even hate him, but he does it to protect us from a worse pain.

2007-06-04 09:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by Blurry Baby Doll 1 · 1 0

Most people say it because it is one of those handy things they think they should say when they are faced with someone elses enormous pain, they can't really think of anything else, and they do want to extend comfort...

But if you truly do believe God has a plan for his people, and you accept that God is wiser than you are, it truly is a comfort. You know that the pain of your loss is not without benefit somehow, even if you are not all-knowing or wise enough to ever know what it is. It is still a horridly painful loss, it still staggers your mind and rocks your life, but it is not a pointless or valuless loss. God sees even the fall of a sparrow, how much more must he care about your loss?

Cry, pray and stand fast with the father of your child. If you can let this loss bring you closer, it will redeem some of the pain. So many couples cannot do this, and suffer a further pain.

2007-06-04 09:42:12 · answer #3 · answered by Gina C 6 · 1 0

I'm really sorry for your loss. That said, if you truly believe in God with all your heart, then theoretically you should believe that your baby has gone to a better place. That is the theory, but the fact of the matter is that is not why people say that. They say it because they do not know what to say. They have good intentions, but what do you say to someone who has experienced what you have? Nothing will make you feel better, and they know it. So they stick to their religious theory, because that comforts them. If it comforts them, then as far as they know it might comfort you. It is better than nothing. The best thing you can do is try to understand that and forgive them. People do the best they can in situations like this, but there is no easy answer. Give them a break.

2007-06-04 09:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1 0

This is because humans always want to find someone responsible for every event. If a leader can't be found that can take the credit or blame for an event, they have to find someone or thing to make responsible. Accepting that something was caused by sheer bad or good luck or chance is not within the realm of human nature.

2007-06-04 10:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If that is rubbing it in to you than your concept is messed up. It is GOD'S WILL--it is to show the person mourning that none of us has control over it---sure we can do things differently but when it is our time it is our time and that is it. How does that rub it in?

When we realize we have no real control of it we submit ourselves to God--it's a release. You can stop feeling guilty or worry about what you could/should have done differently. God has a plan and He tests us and no harm can come to an innocent baby. This life is temporary. Your pain is real, they are not dismissing it they are just reminding you because it is easy to be mad at oneself, at the world, at God, at the doctor's etc...

I would want to hear that, I find it comforting to be reminded that God has a better plan then one I could imagine for myself.

2007-06-04 09:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by Sassafrass 6 · 0 1

Well I comfort first, sharing in the difficulty of what that must feel like- I mean we are all human! We are going to feel loss and sadness! But the main importance is not to blame God. Because of course whatever happens in this life is for a reason and God is in control, for He is sovereign. He draws people closer to Him through trials and tribulations such as this.
It is a test of faith sometimes, and He also gives wonderful testimonies to people, so they can share with others....all in all, in the end, we know God loves us and knows what is best for us, even if at the time something bad happens we do not understand....we will- but we must wait on the Lord. Continue to trust Him and pray- Lean on Him for comfort. And of course it is ok to cry and feel sad! We all will!

2007-06-04 09:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by Mandolyn Monkey Munch 6 · 1 1

well the fact is was it the will of God look at the cercomstance and also the word of God for sickness He has given health and life for povertiy the comman welth of of the Kingdom of God for death eternal life so what is the will of god are you talking about someone who was 120 years old or 20 did they believe did you believe was it Gods will that your baby died i cant say about that but when you were pregnent did you tell god He had free room to work and pray the word the will of God is in His word anything other then that is just sercomstance this is a fallen world i dont believe that God took your baby at all
Shalom peace be with you and peace be great

2007-06-04 09:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by steel warrior 01 2 · 0 1

Some people find comfort in the idea that "these things happen for a reason, or it was God's will." They think it gives meaning. I find comfort in the idea that God is present even in the midst of pain. It seems to me that people must believe in a sort of cruel God whose will it would be for the innocent to die. If you read the Psalms and Job you realize too that it's ok to be mad at God. I'm sorry to hear about your baby, I can't imagine how difficult that would be. I hope you are finding support and comfort.

2007-06-04 09:38:12 · answer #9 · answered by keri gee 6 · 1 2

listen, it must be hard to lose someone like that, but it is god's will bacause your baby can meet up with you in heaven, and the loss could carve you into something better. it could've changed your life in some good ways other than the bad. like you are diseased, and are about to die, but is suddenly healed because of God, you culd be shaped into a much better preacher or become a doctor for children and cheer them up when they're down, cause you can relate to each other. I'm very sorry for your loss...

2007-06-04 09:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by A.J. 3 · 1 1

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