syringe driver for cancer patient?

Question

hi, i ask a little while back about getting the pain control for my mum who had bone cancer, so many of you were so helpful. Mum passed away peacefully at home, but still with out her syringe driver. When i last asked you, mum had then changed her mind because her pain control seemed to improved, even though it was agreed from mums gp as the hospice nurse wouldnt allow this. Three days before mum passed away she ask me to get the pump because she had enough, we rang the oncall nurse who said she didnt have one, we range the hospice who had one but couldnt give it to us for the night nurse to set up, she wouldnt collect so she gave mum an injection instead. (we already had the drugs at home for the pump)the next morning we bleep the district nurse,she came out and said she would speak to mums gp,said mum would have it in the afternoon,come afternoon she didnt, the d/nurse had to change the amount require and had to wait to her from the hospice nurse, well 3 days went on still no pump.

I just want to say thanks from everyone who gave me help and support. Also for those who might have the same problem we did, no what you want and really fight it, the help given is not always the best, push for what you want, dont let them change your mind, this is what they did to mum, and she ended up not having her last wish. If i was the sort of person to 'sue' then i would, mum had no help, my sister and myself did 24 hours aday , 7 days a week care for mum, all the d/nurse did was stick her head round the corner and say hello, how are you. Good luck to all those people who dont have family to care for them and relie on community staff!!

Thank you for all your kind words. Regarding funds for a syringe driver, we had it at the house 3 days before mum passed away, it was the d/nurses that messed around and never set it up!

Answer 1

What a terrible time you've had - death of close ones always leave us feeling 'could I have more?' the answer is always 'yes'. Nurses (on the whole, despite one or two negative responses) care. And very much. I used to go home from work mentally and physically drained, to the detriment of my own family. I am taking a break from the job at the moment to rediscover life and my family. I too, lost my father and mother to cancer, and so wished i could have done more and used to rerun scenarios of their deaths in my head. Gradually, I stopped doing that and 4 years after my father's death I now talk about him only in happy terms, and because of that he remains very much still with us.
The NHS is not a perfect system and I personally feel it's singing its 'swansong' and will be semi-privatised before long. If you were to rerun your mum's last days, maybe anticipating pain would have been reasonable and to have requested a syringe driver with only the lowest dose possible to merely maintain her pain-free state, but I'm guessing you weren't aware how difficult it was going to be. Unfortunately, its difficult to justify the fact that in the end your mum didn't have one, but maybe if lack of syringe drivers was the issue, prehaps you could fund raise to buy more? It may be something to help you rationalise her suffering. Also, do complain - there will be a Patient and Advice Service or a procedure for complaints. Look on the www.nmc-uk.org website for info for patients about nurses or contact your family practioner committee for info about doctors. It will hopefully explain to you the rules which govern our practice.
If you feel overwhelmed with the whole thing, seek some counselling - your GP should help with this. However, it strikes me you have nothing to berate yourself about but carrying anger will not help your grieving process.

Answer 2

I am really sorry that your mum was let down, you must be very angry. I don`t understand why the syringe driver wasn`t set up by the district nurse, I am a district nurse and we try really hard to make sure any of our patients are as pain free as possible. Its very good that you do not have a sue mentality, however you need to find out what the complaints procedure is, it may be that there are not enough funds to buy any more syringe drivers, so if you do not complain the management will not buy any more. It is important for the sake of others like your poor mum to make sure this does not happen again. Please ask the district nursing team to investigate and get back to you. Perhaps when you are feeling a little stronger you might like to fund raise and buy more syringe drivers and donate them to the hospice and your DN team. I hope you and your family don`t let this cloud the wonderful memories you have of your lovely mum, God bless you.

Answer 3

Im sorry this has happened, im also glad that your mum passed away peacefully thats the important thing. I had nearly the same problem, but we got the pump 6 hours before my mum passed away, and oxygen the night before and even that we had to argue and fight to get. What has happened to the caring NHS we are all apart of. God bless you my friend , remember the memories you had.

PS The lady claiming to be a nurse 'the only soloro se' your comments are plain out of order, and buy your comments it shows your a nurse, no compassion at all!

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you my friend, i sadly lost my mum to lung cancer in January of this year and know exactly what your going through and how empty and angry you must be feeling right now!
My mum passed away on Jan the 6th and only got her syringe driver on the 4th of Jan, along with her Oxygen Cylinders, her portable Kamode and her inflatable cushion, a sad case of to little to late, we had to pratcically beg just to get her a cushion for her to sit on, in the end we borowed one from a friend, she was also supposed to get a special mattress, which we never received.
I think somewhere along the line there was a break down of communication and nobody seemed to know who was supposed to supplying what, we finally got the things mum needed but it was to late.
I know you must be feeling really angry right now, but dont allow this anger to take over you, your greiving the loss of your mum and thats hard enough, i felt really pi$$ed off and felt my mum had been treated really badly because she was terminally ill, then i remember what a wonderful lady she was and how she kept her sense of humour and dignity throughout
her short battle and that pulls me out of my self!
Take care and remember your not alone!

Answer 5

I am glad your mum passed peacefully, so I am not sure what your question here is.....kind of late to be asking for her sake wouldn't you say?

Answer 6

hook a wagon to the back of your bicycle. Problem solved.