I am 16, im not on drugs 24/7, im not pregnant and i dont have any kids, i make all A's im about to skip my last 2 years of high school and go to college early, i cook dinner, help clean, and i helped her take care of my uncle when his leg got cut off but my brother is never home, always on drugs, failing grades, and is always in trouble at school and is rude to my mom all the time ( and i take up for her when he does) . now, i am always getting yelled at, never get to go anywhere if i ask, and when i need or want new clothes, i dont get them, but my brother always gets to go places, and gets new clothes. i dont ask her for much cuz i kno she doesnt have much to give money wise. and every now and then, i do ask and she wont give. and when she yells at me for no reason, when i try to tell her how i feel about all this and explain to her about wat im going through she tells me i am ungrateful and bratty and selfish, wat is up with this?? is this normal?
2007-06-04 09:06:02 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mom is protective of you because she doesn't want what happened to your brother to happen to you. Yes, you are a good student and are doing great now but she is probably worried that you might fall into the same things he has and she is protecting you as much as she can. She is probably really stressed now and unfortunately is taking it out on you. Try to talk to her when she seems calm. Tell her how you feel and what you need from her. Don't make demands from her and don't compare yourself to your brother- it will only make her more defensive. Calmly state your feelings and what you need from her and want from her. She is probably trying to keep things together as best as she can. Congratulations to you for all of your hard work and wishes for continued success to you. Remember, keep your head above water and soon you will be out on your own making your dreams come true.
2007-06-04 09:53:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is under a lot of stress and your pain in the butt brother is not making it any easier. Instead of confronting your mother verbally, write to her so she really gets the point. Sometimes it's easier for parents to take their frustrations out on the person who helps the most only because they listen. It's not right and she probably feels bad, but doesn't know how voice it. The reason your brother gets so much and you don't is because in the back of some parents mind one child will never be able to survive. You are not that child. You are the survivor, which means your mom knows that one day your going to make your own way. She doesn't have that faith in your brother.
2007-06-04 09:44:36 · answer #2 · answered by cilla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother is giving your mom a LOT of stress and she is taking it out on your. Unfortunately this happens all the time. You're a very independent person and she may be a bit too comfortable using you as a whipping post. The dilemma lies in whether or not it is worth hurting your relationship with your mother just to point out how unfairly she treats her children. If possible, see a counselor at your school or someone at your church and vent about how you feel. Your mother may also need a counselor to talk to but making that happen may prove difficult. She is trying to "save" your brother by showering him with affection and sadly she feels she does not have to give you anything to make you a "good" kid. That's a compliment in disguise to you because she realizes you can take care of yourself but she doesn't realize how her actions are hurting you. Arguing won't solve the problem, you may have to wait it out if she won't talk to you. Or you could suggest that she go to a counselor with you, sometimes it takes a 3rd party to help a parent see how their decisions are really affecting their children.
I've been where you are, I can relate to what you're going through. It has been a few years for me since this has passed but I can still feel your pain. My solution was found in prayer and occupying myself and trying to make friends with my mom. Now, we are virtually inseperable and really close. You are a blessing to your mother for all that you do, don't forget that!!! Where would she be without you?? Just try to keep the peace as best you can and good luck in college!!!
2007-06-04 09:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by Kristy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hang in there. Your mom might be taking her stress out on you. Just keep up your good work and maybe start a after school sport or activity so your not at home as much to get "yelled" at. Maybe you could get a job to buy some of the things you want. Keep up your grades so you can go to a good college!!
2007-06-04 09:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by nursegurl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
confident - i will completely relate. in spite of has got here approximately in my life and a few of it incredibly is been tough - my mothers comments have been alongside the strains of 'you do no longer comprehend what tough is!' "I had do cope with ..................." and then i might ought to pay attention returned to a pair misadventure that overtook her life. i admire my mom with all my heart and that i won't be able to truly provide you a passable answer that may assist you. interior the tip - except it replaced into something that I knew that she ought to no longer equate with something that she have been with the aid of - I tended to talk to others approximately problems. which could be problematic for you in case you do not have everybody. possibly they do it simply by fact they did ought to combat harder and on their very own - extra so than they see us having to do - yet ought to it incredibly is that they don't have the full tale or that they do no longer comprehend the social regulations that we ought to obey this latest day. in spite of - yet i comprehend that she might do something for me and that i might for her - I do positioned it right down to the era element. it incredibly is something that I bear in mind however while i'm listening to the themes of others (aside from this one!) the place I attempt very problematic to make sure the situation as being unique to the guy it belongs to. in spite of everything - they could be comparable problems yet everybody has a distinctive set of circumstances and that's what makes each concern unique. Sorry - that may not provide help to plenty - all i will say is - be form to her - if she knew the thank you to be distinctive - she might! ultimate of luck
2017-01-10 12:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋