Who you be offended???

Question

I'm in the process of planning my wedding and due to budget restraints it will be for Adults only. The wedding is not until March but the word is being passed that it will be an adult only event. So people are getting offended by this, would you be too?

Answer 1

No, I would not be offended. Considering the cost of a wedding, it's understandable. I usually attend 5-6 weddings a year, and I rarely see children, other than immediate family members, at the weddings. If people get offended, they'll just have to get over it. Make sure you properly address the outer and inner envelopes properly so that it is clear as to who is invited. If anyone ignores it, and lists children, call them and politely explain that because of budget and venue space limitations, no children are invited.

Answer 2

I dont' think so much "offended" as possibly just feel strange or something. I wouldn't want to go somewhere my child (who is very well behaved) couldn't go.

It does make sense though. I have seen this before with an "adults" only party or something. Never for a wedding. And I'm not sure I understand "budget restraints". If you KNOW you can't afford to have the kids there and it's so far away, why not change some thing around so you can celebrate with everyone? Just seems easier to me. I would want as many people as possible to celebrate with! :)

I don't know the answer to this one... just giving an opinion... :)

Answer 3

I can see how some people would be offended. In a way, they could look at your invitation as you saying that you do not believe that their children are part of the family or friends you want to attend. Also, some people may be looking at it like they have to now find a sitter or someone to take care of the kids to go to your party.

Are these offended people telling you directly? If they are then ask them the reasons right then and let them know that you just cannot afford to include the kids in the wedding. If they are not telling you directly but you are relying on another person to pass you the info then how reliable is this person? I have seen people make up stories about people getting angry to get something changed before. You never can tell.

If your budget is not going to allow it then there is not much you can do. It is not like you can make your own money (well, not legally that is). Perhaps there is some sort of arrangement that can be made. Have the wedding at one place but have the reception elsewhere where the price per head is cheaper. I don't know what your plans are or how extravagent your wedding is going to be.

Answer 4

As I am planning my wedding now too, I've been amazed at how easy it is to hurt, offend, or otherwise upset people when you're trying very, very hard to do the exact opposite.

If you want adults only, that's how it is to be. People will get used to the idea, and they surely have plenty of time fro babysitters. The only thing I will say is if you specify no children, that should be across the board. I went to a reception that was adults only--except for the children on the bride's side, which really did not sit well with those on the groom's side who rightfully felt slighted by that.

Answer 5

We just had an 'immediate family only' wedding, and offended and ticked off almost all of the rest of our family because they weren't invited - even though they tell us to our face that they're ok with it and would have done the same thing. For the kids that were invited to our wedding, and we PAID a lot of money for them to eat, didn't even bother to show up, or begged to go to a friends house, regardless of the fact that we ALREADY PAID.

Some people are going to be offended no matter what...you went with their ex's favorite flowers, or didn't invite their best friend's brother's girlfriend. No matter what, you can't make everyone happy, so go with what your gut, and your budget tell you to do. You can only do what you can afford to do.

I personally wouldn't be offended, but would find it hard to get a babysitter if the rest of my family were going to the wedding. (which would be my problem, not the bride's) Nonetheless, I'd understand and respect your decision. It's YOUR wedding, after all!

Congrats on the nuptuials, and good luck with your situation! God Bless!

Answer 6

Yes. Weddings are for families. A wedding typically signifies the joining of two families and the start of a new one. A public wedding is about a lot of people, not just you....whether you happen to like it or not.

Just do the wedding more informally/cheaply if needed, and keep the invitation open. Otherwise, just do Justice of the Peace or Las Vegas...!

...that is, unless your guests are all snotty California white people who share ideas of entitlement while drinking wine and complaining about how hard their lives are.....OK I guess I did start to get offended there.

But seriously...Where's the warmth?

EDIT:
This from a woman who wants her wedding "theme" to be "Diamonds are forever," with gems hanging down everywhere? Spend the money where it counts, on friends and family....PEOPLE...and not on your ego.

Answer 7

I would not be offended - I chose to invite whole families to my wedding and had special kiddie tables with coloring books and stuff to keep them happy during dinner. Of course, they loved balloons, bubbles and dancing.

I would not be offended by adults only - your wedding is your day and should be the way you want it - most people should understand that. Besides, it can be like a date night away from the kids for some of your guests!

Answer 8

Do what you want. Let me preface by saying I don't have kids... and DEFINITELY plan to be like you and have an adult only wedding. Both my man and myself don't even have kids young enough in either of our families to be flower girl/ring bearers in the wedding anyway.

Frankly, I don't know who would want to bring their young child to a wedding. Seems like you are just going to be dealing with a tired crying infant, bored crazed toddler, or bored young child.....

If these people really want to come they will get a sitter. Not really that hard..... (and I know someone will say that they can't if they are coming a distance, but if they are paying to travel they can pay for an overnight sitter).

I would suggest making it adult-only but let people know that "adult-only" means kids under like 10 or 12..... And let them know this will benefit them since their kids won't be bored at a wedding for 6+ hours.

Answer 9

You're not supposed to print Adults Only or No Children on anything. If the person's NAME is not on the envelope, they are not invited-- that goes for both kids and adults. None of this "and Guest" business, either. It is not proper.

People will complain about something, whatever way you plan it. Just be polite but firm. No need to mention the finances-- just say "I'm sorry you feel that way, but we are planning an event that will be formal and grown-up, and children just would not have fun. We cannot accomodate kids at our event,and don't plan to have any activities for them. Plus we thought people would enjoy having some time away fromt he kids for a while."

Answer 10

I am a mom of two, but I understand wanting to have a swanky adult time. The only thing is when my husband and I want to go out we have to factor in how much the event costs, plus the baby sitter. So it may be more cost effective for you, but having to pay for a wedding gift, possibly a new outfit, and a babysitter may be a bit much for some of your guests. I wouldn't be offended, but I might send a gift card instead of attending. :-)