Have you seen the prices they want for secluded island fortresses?
And henchmen aren't cheap, either.
Not to mention the lasers, shark tanks, etc....
What's the best way for me to raise money for these schemes?
Should I set myself up as a non-profit?
2007-06-04 08:50:05 · 22 answers · asked by Samurai Jack 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
form a crackpot religion
(apologies for the tautological sentence, above)
2007-06-04 08:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Start a church in the bible-belt and make sure you can get some TV air-time. Hire a middle-aged used-car salesman and dress him in a decent suit. Tell him to preach that the savior is coming, but he wants for the congregation to live rich prosperous lives if and only if they obey his commands and give money, lots of money, to your church.
This has made millionaires out of losers such as Benny Hinn, Joel Olstein, Creflo Dollar, Peter Popoff, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, and Jerry Falwell. To enhance your money making potential, also publish several books telling the people what god has planned for their lives and how they can get their prayers answered. Morals and integrity are not needed for this, as there is no accountability. As long as your mascot doesn't get caught touching kids or doing coke with gay prostitutes, you'll have a self-renewing source of income for years to come.
Once you've raised the funds, you will already have a good start on building your army. The more people your enterprise is able to get under your religious umbrella, the more political power you will yield. You may even be able to garner enough voters to win the Presidency of the United States. Then you'll have an awesome army that has to follow your commands, regardless of how ridiculous they are. You can easily silence most critics by either calling them unpatriotic or outright ignoring them. The choice is completely yours.
Good luck with your conquest, may yours be a better reign than those of your predecessors.
2007-06-04 16:18:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about selling nefarious scheme cookies? Everybody loves Thin Mints and Peanut-butter!
2007-06-04 15:59:14 · answer #3 · answered by in a handbasket 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start a religion. Worked for L. Ron Hubbard.
2007-06-04 15:53:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should start small. Dominate the people who live on your street. Work your way up to a city.
2007-06-04 15:54:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If its cash you seek join a religion that way you can do evil and make a profit at the same time.
2007-06-04 15:58:35 · answer #6 · answered by Closed 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The same way America does it, by keeping the political powerbase dumbed down and ignorant, while bleeding them of their money and letting them enjoying their ignorant bliss..!
2007-06-04 15:56:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sell cookies. Put a special painful virus in said cookies.
Make anti-virus. Sell anti-virus for $100,000,000
2007-06-04 15:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Seriously consider starting an evangelical protestant group/church. You can get money from these people as they'll believe anything.
2007-06-04 15:54:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call my friend at Halliburton, 1-504-555-TOOL.
2007-06-04 15:58:13 · answer #10 · answered by 2jaxx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋