8 year old left alone at home with a 6 year old and a 3 year old...?

Question

I learned yesterday that my ex-husband left my 8 year old at home alone with my 6 year old and his 3 year old (from another marriage). California has no specific laws about how old a child must be to be left alone, so I am unsure what to do. My 8 year old is not mature enough to handle this (She had to call him to ask how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich). I am very concerned, as two years ago, he and his new wife left my 6yo (at the time she was 4) alone in the house while they were outside. She was playing on a stool and fell and broke her arm.
Do you think that this is grounds to assume or claim general neglect? Bad enough my eight year old was left alone, but what of the 6 yo and the 3 yo? What if something happened? She can't even make a pb&j....

Answer 1

Talk to your lawyer.
I know in NJ the age is 13, you could have the children removed permantly. What he has done is totally unsafe, the kid could have burnt the house down & died!
If there aren't age laws like that in Calif, someone hasn't been paying attention!

Answer 2

I have never heard of an 8 yr old that can't make a PBJ by themselves. My almost 4 yr old can do it alone. Not saying it is a bad thing, just pointing out that the maturity level is definately not there and I am agreeing with you.

8 yr olds, no matter how mature should not be left to care after younger children because if a serious problem happens they might not be able to handle it. (8 might think a baby was sleeping when they were really unconsious for example)

Leaving a child indoors and being out in the yard is one thing. I don't know anyone that wouldn't step outside and keep an ear open. But they shouldn't leave the property, or if it is large property, go out of ear shot.

I would ask an official person, perhaps from family independance agency, what the laws are and what you can do to make sure he doesn't leave her in charge again.

Answer 3

I would try first asking him not to leave them alone and to get an adult baby sitter.
And yes, the children are not old enough to be left alone, it is to an extent considered neglect and child endagerment. With children being kidnapped from their own homes and burglars breaking in, I would say your husband needs to be more responsible and use common sense, which he obviously doesn't have any. Anything can happen when little ones are left alone. The gas in the kitchen could be accidentally turned on, they could put things inside the microwave playing. They could open the door to strangers or someone could break into the house or watch your husband's daily routine and then break into the house and take the children.
They could hurt themselves in a million different ways.
Basically, your husband shouldn't even have the children without another adult supervising them because it sounds like your husband is a child himself and doesn't know how to take care of his own children without jeopardizing their own safety.
He's either a moron or totally ignorant and inmature to think that his kids at that age are capable of taking care of themselves alone. I would send him to court for neglecting the children. Don't wait till something worse happens where either one of your children will end up seriously hurt, dead or kidnapped.

Answer 4

My understanding was that a child needed to be at least over 10 years old, and probably older. About 8 years ago, working as a therapist, I was required by law to report that a girl who was 10 and was left alone at home one day while her parent worked. I didn't suspect abuse at all; it was just unsafe to leave a child that age completely alone. Child protective services would know the latest laws.

Answer 5

My Mommy was a bartender until 2 in the morning and I was left at 8 years old to watch my 6 year old sister and 3 year old brother. Thanks for being a good parent.

Answer 6

I think you're very CORRECT to be concerned. Obviously they don't put your children FIRST - they're more concerned with having time for themselves. That's not good. If you don't already have it, I think you should go for full custody in a court. You will need PROOF - medical records are good. If I were you, I would start keeping a journal with dates and incidents when they happen. This will show that it's not isolated behaviour but a PATTERN. If you already have full custody, I would go back to court to establish rules for visitation rights that mandate the parents be in the home at all times when the kids are there.

You need to do everything in your power to keep your children safe. It's horrible that they leave those kids alone!!

Answer 7

I think that eight years old is too young to be left alone for more than a few minutes. Do you have an amicable relationship with your ex? Would he understand your concerns if you talk to him about it and use a babysitter from now on? I don't know about divorce or custody laws, but if your ex leaves them alone again, you should definitely contact your lawyer.

Answer 8

I would make sure he didn't have access to my children anymore!! That's called neglect...8 year children should never have that kind of responsibility placed on them; 13 year olds have difficulty with watching a 6 year old and 3 year old much less an 8 year old. If visitation with your ex is mandatory by the courts, keep records of his lackof parenting skills and report him to DSS as well as the Judge involved in your case. Don't put your kids in his care...he's an idiot!

Answer 9

I would have to have a talk with the x. 8 is too young to be left home and in charge of smaller kids. Warn him that if it happens again you will take him to court. As you say, there isn't any law in california, but if something did happen, I'm sure that the CPS wouyld be all over him. (child protective services)

Answer 10

I would teach your eldest your phone number and get her to ring you the next time this happens.

Then when it dose call th epolice talling them your daughter just called that they are alone and scared. Could the police please go and check on them.

This will give you the leverage you need to make this stop. You can take this as proof of neglect.

I do not envy your position as I worry about leaving my 14, 11 & 9 year olds for just a few mins. Let alone younger children.

Answer 11

I believe the law in California is that the child has to be 12 to be left alone. I don't know if that includes taking care of siblings or not.