I was talking to a female friend and I asked her if she had a diet soda because some people prefer diet soda over regular soda, you know just to make conversation... then she said "DO you think I should go on a diet?" and she is a really nice person but a bit over weight so I said "Yes." the thought behind it was that she asked me the question so I give her the honest answer as a friend because I care about her... Now she won't talk to me, what can I do to make it up to her?
2007-06-04 06:18:18 · 25 answers · asked by coach 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, then you tell her this: "You asked a question, I gave an honest answer. that is what friends do."
It is then up to her to decide whether she wishes to remain friends with you.
I personally run with a simple philosophy: Don't ask the question if you are ready to accept whatever answer you might get.
2007-06-04 06:26:47 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though, as a friend, you thought you were doing her a favor, women as a general rule are very sensitive about "body image/body issues". Haven't you ever heard that sometimes telling a "fib" to spare someone's feelings is okay!?! Or, even if you wanted to be honest (commendable, although not always smart!) you certainly could've been more tactful about it!! Like "I think you're beautiful the way you are, why, were you thinking you wanted to go on a diet?" or, "your health should be your number one priority, not a few extra pounds - we all have that - but if you wanted to go on a diet, as your friend I'd be supportive", etc., etc. So, I can understand why she's upset!! Just apologize, tell her you didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but you thought you guys were close enough friends so that when she asked, you thought she was considering dieting and wanted your honest opinion. Good luck to you!!
2007-06-04 13:35:52 · answer #2 · answered by AGT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See, you found yourself in a no-win situation. That's why women are so confusing. She walked right into it, and because you gave an honest answer you get burned. Don't really know what you can do, but I'd suggest surrounding yourself with people who aren't overly sensitive and/or who'd rather you not lie and tell them the truth. It seems as if this friend is going to hold a grudge against you for your honesty.
2007-06-04 13:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by Jared 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was nice of you to be honest with her, but explain to her that you really did not want to hurt her feelings, but she asked you and you didn't want to lie to her, and if possible you could go on the diet with her. You seem like a nice, honest, supportive friend, so just let her know these things and that you are here for her.
2007-06-04 13:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by mianjo413 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ouch, you are in trouble huh? This is one of those cases where honesty is not always the best policy. No woman wants to be told she should lose weight. I think the best thing is to send her a note and tell her what you've said here, you really care about her, she is a nice person, and your comment as inappropriate and you hope that she can forgive you and you can continue your friendship since it is important to you.
2007-06-04 13:26:40 · answer #5 · answered by DK Julie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh did you put your foot in it!!!!
2 Choices
1) Wait till she cools down a bit and pretend like you didn't say it... and never say it again!!!
2) An apology is a good start but make it short or you might put your foot in up to the knee.
Try something like...
Sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, how about I treat you to a movie. I would like to go see ( Pirates, Shrek....) my treat.
A movie is a safe thing. If you say cake, desert, dinner etc. it might cause her to thing about it more and get you in trouble again..
If you are worried about her weight ask her to go for a hike, bike, swim etc. and get her out exercising more. If you see her start to loose weight compliment her!
Good Luck
2007-06-04 13:36:57 · answer #6 · answered by Pilgrim in the land of the lost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you said that she should get a diet soda because the amount of sugars in regular soda is very unhealthy, tell her that she misunderstood the situation.
2007-06-04 13:22:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sewage 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's called a loaded question. Being honest is great, but I have a feeling she really wasn't asking you for an honest answer
2007-06-04 13:25:06 · answer #8 · answered by colorfulgiftofsoul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, are you that out of touch? You just told this woman she was fat!!!!! No, you didn't come right out and say it, but when a woman asks you "Do you think I should go on a diet?", and you say yes.......I hope you see where in this case honesty isn't the best policy
2007-06-04 13:23:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize to her from your heart for hurting her feelings and take it as a lesson learned not to tell a woman to go on a diet again, ever, for the rest of your life. lol
2007-06-04 13:21:37 · answer #10 · answered by Li 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋