Just out of curiousity...has anyone ever had the bridesmaid from hell and just didn't know what was going to happen? I've got a crappy situation here. Getting married in October, and had asked my fiance's cousin to stand up with me. Pretty much since the day we got engaged, she's complained and made comments about everything from the color theme, to the Jack & Jill bash, to the dress styles, you name it. She's becoming more "whiny" and "hostile" and it's bringing everyone down. My fiancee's mother is battling cancer right now and I want this wedding to be something for her to fight for, and to look forward to, and we're working hard to make it the best day for her (as well as us, of course). I guess what I'm asking is has anyone ever gone through this and actually followed through on giving a bridesmaid the boot?
2007-06-04 06:14:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
A little more info - his family knows how she is, and it would probably put no strain on them, but it would probably be it for me and her. (No big deal to me or my fiancee.) I'm really trying to decide whether to cut the negativity out now, or just leave her out of the plans and just let her walk in the party and be done with it. Thanks in advance!
2007-06-04 06:16:18 · update #1
Wow, everyone has some great answers, it's going to be hard to choose, that's for sure! Just on a note, she had sent me a nasty email this morning, so I replied (with class!) to her snide questions and also confronted her about her attitude and how it's making everyone uncomfortable. So we'll see the outcome! Thank you all so much for the advice so far.....
2007-06-04 09:45:44 · update #2
I think you should be honest with her,tell her that she is making it harder for you to put the on a happy face when she is being so negative. Tell her that if she is upset by your plans that she is more then welcome to step down as bridesmaid and that you won't be upset. But let her know that you will not tolerate her being negative.
Give her the option to quit first and then dump her if she continues to be a butthead=0
2007-06-04 06:21:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I speak from professional experience . . two true stories
On the night of the rehearsal, a Thursday evening, there were two Bridesmaids and a Maid of Honor . . a Reader . . a Best Man . . and two Groomsmen. Two days later, the day of the wedding, there was one Bridesmaid . . a Best Man and one Groomsmen. So I asked the Bride's Mother an hour before the wedding what happened to everyone and the response was, "The Bride fired them."
Story # 2 . . Three weeks before a wedding a Bride called me to ask if it is "proper" to send her Bridesmaid a check for the cost of the gown, shoes, and accessories because she (the Bride) no longer wants "Miss Troublemaker" in the wedding party. The Bridesmaid has created nothing but problems and the Bride just wants to get rid of her as soon as possible. And my response to the Bride was . . it's her loss and your gain. And you probably should not have asked her to be in your wedding party to begin with (we all learn from our mistakes).
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-06-05 03:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, lose her and be honest why. Don't accept her promise to "get better" -- she may keep it, but you already know what the b*&^tch is thinking!
One thing about weddings that I dislike is how many decisions are not made because of what is expected. It's expected that all the bridesmaids' dresses match. That there be an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. That certain friends or cousins "have" to be in the wedding.
What if the bridesmaids were all given a matching hat and told to find a dress they like, that flatters them, and can be worn in the future, and matches the hat?! Same thing with a tie for the groomsmen.
Tuxedos and big poofy dresses are ridiculous. They don't reflect the people who wear them, how we Americans live our lives, or the degree of formality to which we're accustomed. It is all a lot of fake Victoriana, reflecting an age and a set of traditions that we simply don't otherwise follow.
Consider doing your wedding your way. And "your way" is up to you!
2007-06-04 06:26:32 · answer #3 · answered by JJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am currently in the same situation. I'm getting married in Sept. A bridesmaid was getting unruley. I've been friends w/ her for 15 yrs. She is making the wedding plans hell!!!! We talked to her about it and nothing is EVER her fault!!!! I had to cut her loose. Look at it this way..... it will only get worse and on the day of the wedding where do you want everyones focus to be? Where do you want your focus to be? Do you really want to spend the day worrying what she will pull next? Do you want people to look back @ your wedding and the top 3 things people recall about the day deal w/ her and NOT you and your hubby? Do you want to look back and realize you spent all day worrying about her actions and mouth rather than basking in the moment you and your hubby become one? Get rid of the Drama Queen!! This is one day you are allowed to be completely selfish and make it all about you! Take advantage of it when it comes to this self-centered harpy! Good luck and Best Wishes!!!
2007-06-04 07:10:58 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I don't have any experience with your particular problem but I would just say that before you do anything, you should sit down with her and talk to her about it. At least you could say, then, that you tried to work things out. Maybe she doesn't really even want to do this! She really must understand that this is to be a HAPPY day and a happy time leading up to it. If she can't do that much, then maybe the best thing would be for her to step down. I hope you have a suitable replacement. I don't envy your situation. I hope it works out for you in the end. It's all about the marriage anyway, not the wedding, don't forget!
2007-06-04 06:20:55 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was dumped from being a bridesmaids..... but the bride was bridezilla and the feeling was mutual by that time. Also that ended the friendship- which wasn't much of a loss from my point of view. To make a long story short- it was her second marriage and she though she should be treated like a queen and though everyone should blow $$$$ on her 2ND marriage... cause the first one was soo horrible (she cheated).
I would give her a change to clean up her act- tell her to knock it off and point out politely how she is acting and bother people. It's not her wedding!!! Then decide from there... either she'll clean up her act or get rid of her.
2007-06-04 06:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I dumped my Maid of Honor...She WAS my best friend and she dragged her feet on everything and it got down to a month before the wedding and I didnt even have a dress for her...she would not spend any time with me or help out in any way...so, I gave her the boot and haven't spoken to her since.
I say, cut out the negativity now...you don't want to remember this crap
2007-06-04 06:25:24 · answer #7 · answered by j c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually had a maid of honor just like that...I couldn't take it anymore!! She would constantly complain about everything that I picked out...like it was her wedding or something!!! Finally I just emailed the bad news...she was out... a little rude, but it just made it easier to do it that way... Haven't talked to her since, but it really was no loss....
Good luck in whatever you do...this is your day, don't let anyone ruin it for you!!
2007-06-04 06:18:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Send her an ultimatum..maybe she'll drop out. You don't have to do it personally. So what if she'll be upset with you forever..this is your day to get ready for. A lot of the fun is preparing for it...you don't need someone whining about it. Good Luck and I hope you have a wonderful wedding....
2007-06-04 06:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by justwonderingwhatever 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your the bride its YOUR day. Don't let anyone mess with you.
Tell her that you are not going to be able to use her. Then just cut one guy from your party. I am sure he won't mind after you tell him why. Then make sure she is not invited for anything anymore including the rehearsal.
Your in complete control don't let anyone think they can bowl you over!! I was an October bride its the best month to wed!!! :-D
2007-06-04 06:20:25 · answer #10 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋