To be sure, there are some who claim there will be no consequences whatsoever: that I and my family will be re-united. But my understanding of Christian scripture doesn't agree with theirs.
Of the others: either I am told I did not know my wife well enough to be -sure- she was not a closet christian, or I am told that the only way I will see my dead son again is if I convert to Christianity.
Must you use the cause of my grief as an opportunity to preach?
Must you tell me that your god will keep my son from me unless I convert?
Must you insult the intimacy of my relationship with my wife by suggesting she was a closet christian?
Can you not stop preaching long enough to respect the dead and the one who loved them?
2007-06-04 05:46:08 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I think it is not as much preaching as it is a type of conceit, assuming that the other person is also a Christian or not caring otherwise. They believe that anything Christian would always be taken in a positive way, because it's Christian, after all. They don't realize that "Christian" does not equate to "good" with non-Christians.
When someone wishes some kind of Christian "blessing" on me, I try to take it in the spirit it is meant, but there's always a bit of awkwardness and embarrassment for someone saying something so blatantly stupid in all seriousness at such an inopportune time.
Even in their trying to "save" you so you'll be with your son, they are really being sincere, which is the really awful part. I can tell they really fear for you, which shows that they like you and hope for the best for you, or at least your son. But that type of situation is even more awkward. If they are someone you don't want to alienate, you now have to figure out a way to let them know that you appreciate their thought but are really offended at their attempt and perhaps there's a better time to discuss it.
It's that point of how you could really be offended at their attempt to help you that they really don't get, because they really can't see how something Christian could be bad.
2007-06-04 05:49:47 · answer #1 · answered by nondescript 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They might be at a loss of words too and want to comfort you by suggesting that they might be in a better place. So lighten up a little. To answer your questions:
Must you use the cause of my grief as an opportunity to preach?
That is the best time to tell others of the love of Christ, so as to bring comfort in a time of pain.
Must you tell me that your god will keep my son from me unless I convert?
The truth, I am sorry if you don't want to hear it. Would you rather us lie and then you find out in the afterlife the hard way.
Must you insult the intimacy of my relationship with my wife by suggesting she was a closet christian?
I don't belive in closet Christians, either you are and are proud or you are not.
Can you not stop preaching long enough to respect the dead and the one who loved them?
Respect goes both ways so the least you can do is hear them out they are only trying to help. No one is trying to disrespect you; they just want to introduce you to the saviour of the world.
2007-06-04 12:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by Hello 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I find the Jehovah's Witnesses to be particularly insidious about this. They frequently leave Watchtower magazines at my door, which are amusing... but sometimes they have lengthy articles about how all the faithful dead will be resurrected and everyone united.
It seems to me they are preying on the grief people who have lost loved ones have. I cannot see any other appeal, nor any reason anyone would buy into that, except from desperate grief. I find that morally reprehensible.
2007-06-04 13:51:21 · answer #3 · answered by KC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O, you need time away from people to work through your thoughts and feelings. You know better than anybody how some people just think that they are right, and what is good for them must be good for all. Take the time you need to sort through your emotions, and stay away from those who make you feel like you need to be defensive. This is not the time to preach, especially when you probably haven't slept very much, you may not even know what you're saying.
2007-06-04 14:09:00 · answer #4 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Since you are not asking whether they will go to heaven or not, then I hope that everyone respects your wishes.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son and your wife. It must be very difficult, and the people were not very sensitive to your needs at that time.
Know that I am praying for you at this time for comfort and for the answers you seek.
2007-06-04 12:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by Searcher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can feel your pain, except you. Death is one of those things that is hard to come up with any words of encouragement or support. i think that people can only offer what they know or believe in...if you ask someone that believes in no hell they will give you their belief, the same as a person who believes in aliens, or whatever...
Accept those who offer you their true condolences from their heart and are only meaning well, and ignore those that you feel aren't or are taking advantage... Christians or not.
2007-06-04 13:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry for your loss, and for the lack of thoughtfulness of some Christians. I think we have a tendancy to assume that everyone is a Christian, and so we say what would be comforting to us. When I am aware that someone is not a Christian, I try to find something else to say.
2007-06-04 12:53:49 · answer #7 · answered by wendy08010 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Orion there are searchable Bibles online that could give you comfort.
You may want to start with the first chapter of Romans. Then read the psalms. I assure you that God is doing the most loving thing for both you and your loved ones.
2007-06-06 10:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Makemeaspark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Orion, I am aching for your loss. And it makes me sick in the throat that even your request that people respect your spiritual beliefs at a time of great grief brings out the condescending and self-righteous. They should be ashamed, but I am sure they won't be.
2007-06-06 18:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by Bad Liberal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife and child. Christians are the hands and feet of Jesus, so to speak. We are here to give you love, understanding and support in your time of sorrow and always. Just as Jesus is here for you with love and compassion. I must agree with the post above mine. I am praying for you.
2007-06-04 12:57:59 · answer #10 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋