Is it okay to do things on your OWN terms?

Question

For example, I'm freshly recovered from all sorts of unfortunate health ailments that started in my last semester of college, forutnately I finished. However I was literally bedridden in January, and as for February-April I"ve been in and out of ER's for about 3-4 times, due to pneumonia, chest infection, bronchitis, and asthma which developed.

It is now June, and I'm finally somewhat able to feel normal, but I feel like I completely literally died, couldnt think, lost myself...and now im reborn, and it's just a strange feeling.

WHen you're sick, sometimes you really can't function.

Luckilly I'm with a good family and I'm taken care of.

However, I've been pressured to do things which I just couldn't do. My parents prematurely pushed me to go on 100000 job interviews, etc, and I just wasn't up for it.

is it OKAY to do things on your own terms when you feel ready?

Life runs 24/7/365, and I feel insane pressure to just keep going. MOst people feel invincible.
I fell hard.

Answer 1

Yes it's ok to do things when you are ready. After being that sick and finally getting rid of the illness you now need time to rebuild your energy and strength. People who have not been terribly sick before don't understand what it feels like and how weak you get and how difficult recovery is for you. Family is always anxious to push you along and expect more out of you more quickly than you are physically able. They just want you to hurry and get back to "normal" life. But, you have to move at your own pace and when you are ready, or you may very well end up relapsing and being terribly sick again.

Answer 2

Of course it's ok to do things on your own terms...and your ILLNESSES are proof that your body was not in sync with your soul.

The fact you feel born again was because you were literally forced to shut down to come to that understanding that you cannot work against your true inner aspirations. If your gut says no, then listen to it!

Parents mean well but some parents drive thier kids to the brink of insanity by pushing them to unreasonable expectations of achievements or perfection. It's fine to be DRIVEN, but I think YOU need to be in charge of the car so to speak.

So yes, take a sabbatical and recoup your health. Slow down...you have all the time in the world to "get there" when you're healthy. You're no good to anyone if you're dead.

Stop and re-evaluate where it is you want to go and do it at a pace that is comfortable for you!

And I trust that you are not a deadbeat or just lazy and that that is the reason your parents push you?

If you are truly being driven towards goals that are not your own, then you do need to learn to stand on your own feet and take charge of the direction you want your life to go.

Don't waste your youth, it's the most energy you will have in life and it passes very quickly!! Take advantage of this time and move wisely towards a profession where you can be happy and support yourself.

I know its hard but you should try to get your education in while your brain and body still can take the stresses and pressures. It doesn't get any easier with the passage of time.

Answer 3

I am a cancer survivor. I had 16 surgeries in a 4 year period.
This is what I did.

Some days I would feel down and sorry for myself. I would give myself those days and give myself a time limit on how long I could be like that. At the end of that period, I would get up and make myself feel better about life.

You have to move at a pace you feel comfortable with but DO NOT let your self fall into the black hole of self pity. There are going to be days that you don't want to get out of bed, but you must. Any day that you don't pull your self up by your own bootstraps, just makes the next day that much harder.

You need to get out little by little and start to appreciate things a little more. Set goals for your self and do your best to meet them every day. I used to say "I walked to the end of the block today, tomorrow, I will go around the corner and take 4 steps before I turn around."

It isn't easy and your family is probably jst trying to make sure that you don't sit and wallow in what you have been through. Don't hold it against them. They are doing it because they love you.

I once set a goal of going sailing three months to the day after one of my surgeries. Well the date was quickly approaching and I was no where near ready to go. But on that date, my husband and his best friend took me out to the sail boat, layed me on the front of the boat and took me sailing. I met my goal but it took the love and support of my family and friends.

Just hang in there and things will get better. I promise.

Answer 4

as long as you don't wallow in self pitty and use ur illnesses as an excuse then yes you must be a bit selfish in this movie we call life, you ARE the star of the movie so yes make up some of your own rules and demands and treat yourself only when u feel u are ready ! no one understands being sick or being held down for a long period of time against your own will! and i do know what that is like i have been thru so much and still so young but go and do what makes you happy because happiness is a great medicine too honey save me as a friend i will be glad to be a friend!

Answer 5

It's ok to go at your own pace as long as your own pace isn't standing still. Even though you had a rough year or so, you should be trying to pick up where you left off. Perhaps let your parents know that you still aren't quite 100% and don't want to commit to anything to major until you're sure your health is what it should be. Just be careful you don't just end up milking the fact that you were sick and getting nowhere. That's an easy trap to fall into

Answer 6

Ultimately, you will do what you want, when you want. Just don't forget that life doesn't stop and wait for you to "feel good". You just might miss out on something.
So...It's usually good to go do things when you don't feel like it.