Why the hell can't I fit in?

Question

No matter where I go, I seem to have trouble fitting in. I've been told by a few people that I'm "different", but that it's not a bad thing. Somebody here once suggested that I might have Asperger's syndrome. I've read about that, though, and I don't fit the criteria. I just don't get it. I know that I'm kind of shy and awkward, but so are a lot of other people. I don't think that my appearance or my clothes are weird, so what gives?

Thanks, Earnie!:)

Answer 1

I think it would help you to try not to be self-concious
and be happy to be different. I've observed from
a lot of your questions and answers that you are
an independent critical thinker. Remember that
some people will take adversion to those who
think outside of the box and are willing to go
against the grain.

I think you have just not found your concentric
circle yet. You need people around you who
reflect your taste and values and share the
same interest. Have you tried social networking
on one of the match sites? They are not just for
dating. They are also for finding friends to hang out
with.

Here are some of the groups you can be happy
not to belong to:

1. Social climbers
2. Radical Religious zealots
3. Prepsters and yuppies
4. Rednecks
5. The white gangsta rap crowd

I wish you well.

Here are words of wisdom from "The Life of Brian"

" You don't need to follow me, You don't need to follow
anyone. You're all individuals". -

Answer 2

Honey, fitting in isn't everything. I have trouble in large groups, and with people I don't know, and in strange situations. I always kicked myself too, thinking I was too different, and something was wrong with me. Eventually, I gave up, and basically started presenting the front of "this is me world, take it or leave it, but I am who I want to be". Didn't really think about it for a while (about a year). Yesterday, we had a bbq for my upcoming birthday, and I looked around and realized that, when I stopped worrying about if I fit in, and how people saw me, I started making friends.

For your own sake, stop letting people try to label you. The person who decided you have Asperger's, what were their credentials? Were they a licensed mental health professional that you had consulted? Or just some acquaintance that read an article in a magazine and decided to "play" therapist for a minute? Labels are great for clothing, and storage boxes, but have no bearing on people. Will you feel better with a "reason" you don't fit in? Fine, I was diagnosed with major depression, Social Anxiety Disorder, and anxiety (panic) attacks. So what? That breaks down to I am shy and people make me nervous. Should I have crawled into a hole and lived according to my labels? A label didn't fix me, I did.

Answer 3

at the beginning you may desire to understand what dying is. the 1st dying is separation of physique from soul. the 2nd dying is separation of a individual from God. Jesus continuously warned to no longer worry the 1st dying yet worry the 2nd because of the fact its the single that concerns. Sinners proceed to pass to Sheol, the saved ones now pass the the third heaven. those are actually not very final places, as after the Judgment of the large White Throne sinners will pass the the Lake of hearth (hell), and those saved to the recent Jerusalem with glorified bodies in basic terms like the physique of Christ.

Answer 4

I can relate, tangerine. I am different and I don't fit in with most, so I found my own niche of people. And no, it's not a bad thing, I just found that you have to be creative.

I have an IQ of 180 and am science minded. I have an illness that is potentially life threatening, so I cut to the chase when it comes to attitudes. I prefer to communicate in terms of thoughts and feelings rather than facts and opinions because my life is too short to take any of it for granted. I've been told never to speak of science, because few people are science minded. Also, never talk about the shortness of life because others can't relate. So although the friends that I am making/have made are few and far between, they are real and true. I would rather not fit in and be myself than put on an act for something I am not. Perhaps we might introduce ourselves and fit in with one another and find others to accept us, huh?

Answer 5

Its good to be different but what some people mistake is being different in a good way, in a positive way.
okay, i love to swim and im an artist, wow! that's kinda different! i skate all the time, a girl skater? wow! fun!
things like that are different but in a positive interesting way.
But if you act awkward and are too shy, people may think you have some kind of problem , like family, emotional or mental.
Some people also could get confused and set apart from you because they don't know what to expect. i believe its normal but you should try to change your self a little.
Its great to be different but not in a way where it will affect your relationship with friends or people you know.
Its great to like different colors, to have a unique personality and be involved in different things but you will always want to enjoy plain good times with your friends and laugh a little and to do that we ALL must have something in common.
do you understand?? It is soo easy!
Its not about fitting in, its about getting along and having something interesting to talk about.

Answer 6

Fitting in his highly over-rated.

Who wants to be a lemming? Doing what everyone else does. Following the crowd. eh... BO-ring.

Be you. Be original. Be different. What's so wrong with standing out in a crowd?

Answer 7

i have the same problem there a lot of people with that problem. it takes time 2 get 2 know people!

Answer 8

What would that* give you?

*
"That" is sacrificing being uniquely yourself in favor of a group defined identity.

Answer 9

Keep trying to meet new people. maybe you just havent found the crowd for you.

Answer 10

i think you just don't realize that nobody feels like they fit in. i don't. i been ufckin up since i can't remember. i'm always "that one guy".
but who cares