Non-believers...do you have a favourite contradiction or absurdity form the bible?

Question

Just something that tickles you?

Mine is: "1 John 4:8 - God is love." Yet........

"45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things."

God created evil as well, according to this. I think alot of christians may have glossed over this bit....

Meant FROM the bible obviously.....

Answer 1

The biggest absurdity is the entire premise. Supernatural creator of the universe has an adversary whom he created for the sole purpose of seeing who "wins" a soul for eternal bliss or hell for eternity,based on what people who cannot see them do with their penis is 80 or so years. Oh please oh please,tell me that powerful,eternal beings have something better to do than play games with humans like bar buddies

Answer 2

"I am the root and offspring of David, and the bright and morning star." (Revelation 22:16)

This verse presents the most shocking revelation in the entire Bible. On the very last page, it reveals Jesus as the "bright and morning star". In other words, Lucifer-- Satan!

In Isaiah 14:12, St. Jerome, translated the Hebrew "morning star" into the Latin term "Lucifer" (light bearer), a name commonly ascribed to Satan by Christians, and represents the fallen star, an ancient symbol for the fallen or evil one. The mourning star actually appears as the planet Venus, the brightest "star" in the sky (but the ancients did not know about planets). Venus always appears low on the horizon, thus it looked like a fallen star (fallen angel) to the believers.

Although the Isaiah verse describes the fallen king of Babylon, Christians have, for centuries, ascribed Satan as taking many forms. And what more powerful form could an evil being take than to pretend himself as the saviour of the world? This would certainly explain the hate filled verses attributed to Jesus and the blind followers who inherit ignorance. Thus, a conclusion, based on Christian beliefs of Satan, and the belief in the "inerrancy" of the Bible, one must conclude that Jesus has revealed himself as Satan!

What a Revelation!

Answer 3

Luke 14:26 " If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes and even his own life also, he cannot be my deciple."
compared to:
Exodus 20:12 "Honor your Mother and Father....."
Mark12:33"...... and to love ones neighbour as oneself is more than all the burnt offerings and sacrifices...."

Exodus20:8 "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy"
compared to:
John 5:17 Jesus is working on the sabbath and claims god does too.

and He gets the title of "Prince of Peace"
when he clearly states:
Matt 10:34 "do not think I came to bring peace on Earth. I did not come to bring Peace but a sword."

And who doesnt love the fig tree where he approaches the tree knowing it was not the season for fruit and when he finds it bare (surprise surprise) he curses the tree and kills it....
He then explains it by saying that god will do as you ask him in prayer, obviously that includes killing fig trees....
Mark 11:12-25

Answer 4

(Matthew 13:13-15 )
"This is why I speak to them in parables: "Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: " 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them."

(2 Corinthians 4:3-4)
"And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."

Answer 5

it has to be the dinosaurs on noah's ark, i just can't get over that one!

but according to a very recent question i asked, there weren't any meat eating animals until after the flood, so i guess the dinos ate grass or something lol

EDIT: wow, loka, you should pose that as some sort of question to the christians about jesus, that's amazing!

Answer 6

Exd 20:13 Thou shalt not kill.

Deu 5:17 Thou shalt not kill.

Mat 5:21 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment

2Ch 15:13 That whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.

Answer 7

I can't call it a favorite. I found Pauls views on women to be thoroughly depressing until I realized that The bible is just the work of men. Seriously, why would God make women intelligent and abler to learn and then tell them that they have to subjugate themselves like children?

Answer 8

That Adam and Eve were the first humans. If that is so than how did their sons marry woman from a foreign land? Also if that is so that would mean that we are all related. And in turn would mean that we commit incest every time we are intimate with someone.

Answer 9

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empty_tomb

Who got to Jesus's tomb first? If the bible is inerrent, then this should be crystal clear.

I have to agree that Noah's age and Noah's ark is my favorite "absurd thing fundamentalists believe to be literally true".

Answer 10

Noah's ark wins the Record Absurdity Award.