He is 15, moody defensive, secretive and unmotivated. Grades are poor due to lack of effort. Does he need professional help? If so what kind?
2007-06-04 02:07:55 · 8 answers · asked by sj46 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hormones...it is a phase so leave him be...although i don't noe why he's not soin well in his studies...bt dun ask him. Give him more personal space. Just let him noe u are there if you need him.
2007-06-04 02:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by YJIplayer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so glad mine are grown, your son is at a horrilbe age. Here's how I survived. Mostly its a waiting game. You have to wait out each day until they get old enough to revert back to the kid that you knew and loved just a few short years ago. Moody, defensive, secretive and unmotivated are the classic symptoms of being 15. He's got raging hormones he doesn't have control of, so he's moody. He's defensive because he thinks every word out of your mouth including "good morning honey!" is something you are trying to do to smother him. He's secretive because you have lost "god" status and he can be. That's the time of a childs life where they think mom and dad are gods and they can do no wrong. That's over by 15 but it will return in a varient form in about 10 years. In the meantime you are the enemy. And he's unmotivated because he doesn't know who he is, where he fits in and what his purpose in life is and why should he bother anyway?
So what can you do? Don't struggle. Allow him to be 15 without it being a threat. Understand its nothing personal, its simply seperation which is what your goal as a parent should be. Make sure you are clear and consistant with house rules, your expectations and the consequences. This is the time to clean up your own act. If you don't want him to smoke, drink or do drugs then don't do it yourself. Be reasonable. Do not ground him for life if he doesn't bring his grades up, life for him its just a couple of weeks in the future and why bother? Do speak in positives and don't try to be his friend. Be his parent, he has friends. That means you suggest a couple of the guys(also include female friends) come over for movie night, you buy the pizza. Then you let them have the good TV and you disappear into your bedroom or other private space. Couple that with a hands on approach to school work, you either get what he's supposed to be doing from him, or you go to his teachers. Then do so without embarressing him. Don't be afraid of hurting his tender ego by saying, everyone in this house showers and shaves every day. Stop doing routine things for him if you haven't already, like his laundry. If you haven't taught him to cook, this is the time. "you are going to be moving out soon, let me show you how to fry eggs." Give him reasonable responsibilites. Don't worry about his room being clean, Make him responsible for checking your oil, tire pressure and keeping the car's clean. If you go on a family trip, make him responsible for the maps and route. If he uses a computer then make him responsible for compiling the weekly shopping list spreadsheet, or even your checkbook.
The goal here is to survive without losing either of you. Its not going to be the same relationship you once had, but it will come back. I promise.
2007-06-04 09:31:01 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called being a teenager, I don't think getting 'professional help' is a very good idea, why don't you suggest it to him and see how he takes it? Just make sure he's eating good food (eating junk food all the time can have a really bad effect on Mental as well as physical health) and be normal, don't tip-toe around him or get angry, give him some space and let him sort himself out.
2007-06-04 09:29:36 · answer #3 · answered by Pepper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of check him for drugs.Then try talking to him. right now he does not need a mom he needs a friend. be tough b/cos this will be a long bumpy rid. Pls what ever u do don,t push him,don't try to change him. wish u the best
2007-06-04 10:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by lily_oraz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's at the age of where he keeps to himself and he might not really like where he is at. Sit him down and talk to him and ask him is everything okay.
2007-06-04 09:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by jamaicaladydread 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a typical teenager but i would try and find out if he is taking any drugs as what you describe sounds like he may be
2007-06-04 09:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by sweetchant1lly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a teen to me...
if you are worried take him to his doctor
2007-06-04 09:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a drug test.
2007-06-04 09:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by Bones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋