My mom throws away gifts that my siblings and I give her. No matter what it is, she doesn't keep any of them. One time she wanted an outfit and I bought it for her. Paid good money for it too and she gave me a bag of clothes a few months later and that outfit was in there. Some of my siblings have spent hours and hours making her homemade gifts and she throws them away. I bought her a necklace and the other day I mentioned it to her. She played dumb and pretended she didn't know what necklace I was talking about and the minute she said that I knew she had gotten rid of it. We give her these gifts from our hearts and I would never think to throw away anything my children give me. I decided no more gifts for my mother, it's a waste of my money and time. Why would a mother do this?
2007-06-04 01:27:52 · 18 answers · asked by sick_of_it_all 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She sounds uncaring to me.....I would never throw anything my kids gave me even if I hated it...I may not wear it, or display it, but I would always keep it for sentimental reasons.
Good for you, don't waste your time or money, get her one of those 99 cent cards at Walmart..
2007-06-04 01:49:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If she is a small child I don't think that I would get into the answers right now. If asked by the child I would tell her that she loved her so much she wanted her to be with a family that loves her and could provide everything that she couldn't. If you dramatize on the fact that the mother didn't have time for her then the child will. Positive reinforcement of the loving situation that she is in now will make a positive person. Also, I think that since it is such an open adoption that the father's should ask her mother to please find a new way to phrase her words as to why the little girl doesn't live with her.
2016-03-13 05:15:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm certainly glad that you came to the conclusion that buying/giving your mother gifts is a waste.
I don't know why your mom would throw away such gifts (as a mother I don't unless my kids give me a rock and then I throw it after a couple of days). Since it clearly bothers you (and I don't blame you) talk to your mom about this. Tell her that you aren't looking for a confrontation but just want to know why it is that she won't keep a gift. It could be possible that she simply doesn't like the gifts and would rather throw them away than say anything. If you or your siblings get into arguments with your mother it could be possible that, in a fit of rage, she gathers your gifts and tosses them into the trash. I guess the only person who can give you the correct answer is your mom. Hopefully, she will be honest if you choose to ask her.
2007-06-04 02:05:05 · answer #3 · answered by Lwood 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You would have to ask her. Most mothers don't throw away every gift given to them. Although, my kids are small, so they make me gifts all the time. Especially my daughter. Just about every day she has made me a new picture or something. I try to keep a small sampling of them and the rest end up thrown away (never when she's around) I display them for a week or so and then they disappear. I love her gifts, but if I kept everyone she gave me I would need to rent a storage shed to store them all. I still have every trinket she and my son have ever gave me. I bought a small safe to store them in along with their baby teeth and other things from school. I don't know why your mom seems to toss everything, maybe instead of a gift, take her out for dinner or get her a gift card so she can get what she really wants. Maybe she's not a sentimental person.
2007-06-04 01:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is strange. The only logical explanation is like that of my Grandmother in that she has 5 children and grandchildren and from all of that she has so much stuff. She has tried to keep everything but it is too much, I couln't do it either. Everyone has told her their feelings wouldn't be hurt they would understand if she wanted to get rid of some of the things. Although, I am talking about trinkets and such, some clothes. She would never get rid of jewelry nor would my mother. My mom only has my sister and I so she doesn't have too much and has never done anything like that. I would never do anything like that.
Have you ever said anything or asked her if these are things she doesn't like or why? I will do that will my mom, we have a very open relationship.
I would definitely not get her any more gifts I were you though or your siblings as well. I wish I knew a good answer why she would do this but I think you should just ask.
Sorry you were hurt by your mom.
2007-06-04 02:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought about asking her what she wants/needs? I sure don't want my daughters picking out my clothes and "gifts from the heart" that you make yourself is usually just another way of saying cheap and/or lazy. Gift giving is easy if you really pay attention to who the person is. My daughters typically give me movies, music or PC games that I have listed on a gift registry at Amazon. Gift cards can be bought for every single thing in existence now. My daughters had pictures made this year for Mothers Day because they knew I didn't have any of them since high school. If you don't have any money to spare then make a home made lunch or dinner and take it to her and eat with her. Your mother has enough "stuff", I can promise you.
2007-06-04 01:55:33 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she doesn't know how badly it makes you feel. I'm the same way as you...I keep everything my son gives me. I feel bad if I throw it away, plus I want to keep them for memories later in life. As for your mother, I'd say sit down with her and your siblings so you all can tell her how you feel. This way she will know you all have a problem with it and are hurt by it. Is it possible that she really just doesn't remember what she has been given as a present and what she hasn't? If talking with her doesn't help, perhaps you all should stop buying her presents and, if you must give a present, make one or start giving her gift cards. If you don't feel you need to give her a present, maybe you could just give her a birthday card.
2007-06-04 01:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by tinythesp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stopped giving my mother gifts a few years back and started giving her time instead. This mothers day She got a days worth of landscaping from me as that is something she needs assistance with and it is one of the few things we can do together without arguing. I would also mention to her that you have noticed that she tends not to keep the gifts that you have given her and ask her if it is because of the gifts themselves, doesn't fit, or if it is something else that is going on. She may be a little put off but she will figure out that it hurts your feelings and maybe lead to an open conversation.
2007-06-04 01:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by Megan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is she having tantrums ?maybe you should ask her first what she really wanted or else give her the money she could buy whatever she wants.If your mother is old she no longer appreciates gifts which she will dispose later rather be with her or take her to places where you and your family could be together.
2007-06-04 02:22:31 · answer #9 · answered by sugarfree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to offend you but your mother needs help, I am a mother of 2 and i keep everything, should something break i will fix it , i love the little things they make as i know they made it just for me, so its special. Maybe you should tell her that it hurts all of you when she does it and i agree don't get her anything again and if she asks then tell her that she always throws it away
2007-06-04 02:37:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doensn't want to hurt your feelings by not accepting the gifts to start with. I am a mother of 3 and I would never throw out a gift one of them gave me. It sounds like she is mad about something. I wouldn't buy her anything anymore.
2007-06-04 01:33:00 · answer #11 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋