Why is it so hard to let go?

Question

I just asked a question about if my fiancee is cheating on me and even if he isnt you all have made a good point.HE IS ALREADY doing so much to hurt me so I should let him go.But how do you let go of your first,your high school sweet heart,someone you have spent 5 years of your life with,and the father of your child?I know I need to but I am not sure how too.Thanks

Answer 1

we are in the EXACT same boat!!! me and my bf have been together 5 yrs and have 2 boys together. he was friends with this girl for like 10yrs and they ended up sleepin together while i was pregnant. now mind u we had took a break but still we were still intimate and he was still tellin me he loved me so i considered it cheating. i know exactly how u feel. he was my first love, my "first", and we have kids together. how do u just let go of that without a fight? right now this is what i'm doin, i told him we needed to get away from each other for awhile and see where both of our heads are at and see what we want out of this relationship. during this time i'm enjoyin myself. having fun with my girls, and even went out on a couple dates. (nothing serious at all!!) but, try that and see if that works for u. i realized once i quit depending on him so much and wanting to be with him so much i have alot of fun without him. i hope ur situation gets better!! good luck hun!!

Answer 2

The real reason you can't is because of your own selfish nature. Don't take this wrong....remember whatever draws you to him is usually something he has or does that you admire. Sometimes it's as simple as the way he carries himself. I know how you feel cause I've had the same problem with men in my life. It's hard to give up something you want so bad. If you will start seeing him for the person he really is, you will see all the things that you dislike about him. This will gradually change the way you feel about him. After awhile you will realize how lucky you are to find this out before marriage. Your child will be a lot happier if you are.

Answer 3

Well first of all if he is the father of your child u and him will always have a connection and with that u will always love him. You say you know you need to, but not sure how to. So really you've already answered your own question, but just need someone to tell you how to. Well it's called just letting go!!! If you truly don't want this man and you know that he has done more to hurt or hinder you then just be straight forward with him and tell him what's gonna happen instead of going to him saying "well I think or maybe we should" let your word be strong and have an meaning behind them. One thing that I always think of when when in a difficult situation is IF YOU DON'T STAND OF SOMETHING YOU WILL FALL FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope this helps. Now that's what up!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

I have been in a very similar situation such as you, except for me it wasn't a fiancee or b/friend, but someone whom I loved very much and whom loved me back - except he had a g/friend the whole time and when I found out, I was furious. I am a practical person and I wouldn't let my heart rule my head, so I dropped him like a hot potato, but despite knowing what he had done to me and his g/friend - he had been very unfair to her - it still broke my heart when I came to the decision to break off all contact with him.

Therefore, from personal experience, I think its because when you are in love and have been with the person for so long, you have ideals about him and you and both of you together in the future. Who doesn't dream of a perfect life with their one and only true love? Unfortunately, and I learnt this lesson early - real life doesn't work that way. I think its that reality that makes it hard and painful for both guys and girls to drop that person they were so sure was their special someone.

The only thing you can do is move on and protect yourself. Moving on doesn't mean finding someone else. I am single now - always have been - but by involving myself in the other things in life I love and enjoy - comedy, family, work and study - it distracts you and day by day, you find that life is no longer so difficult. It works, believe me.

Of course, love always will leave some pain behind...

Answer 5

It's never easy. Just make sure that your child is taken care of first and foremost.
Find something to occupy your time. And make sure that you have a career and a job, if you don't it's going to make it even harder to leave because you depend on him for financial support as well. Go to college if you haven't already and get on with your life.
It's better to break it off short and sweet instead of dragging it on and on, it only hurts worse.
Eventually you will find someone to love you and your child and treat you with respect. Those types of men ARE out there and I was just blessed to FINALLY find one.

Answer 6

hi..i'm a mom too and had my relationship w/ my husband for about 7 years now. sometimes i do feel the same way specially when i'm jealous w/ his girlfriends, but he's assuring me that i'm the only one and i believe him coz now he's showing it up..before i give him his space to think about if he really loves me...maybe you should give him that too..also for yourself..just reflect on the things you both shared and think of the good and bad times....but if the case is he's already doing so much to hurt you its different, i think you should let him go if its not healthy anymore for both of you to be w/ each other as this might also affect your child...letting go is really not an easy thing to do..just trust, have faith and ask for God's guidance and everything will fall into place.....ü

Answer 7

It could be very hard to start a new life. since we are used to with this guy we love to much. but if you have pride for yourself you have to let go of this feeling. try to meet new friend, go out and hang out with them, dont just stay in a corner or in the house. find something / someone to make you happy, after all you still have your child with you.

Answer 8

There is no reason to dump someone that is so close to your heart.
What you have to do is just take some time off.
Sometimes when the flame dies in a relationship it is your job to rekindle it.
Mention the thought of dating other people and if you still miss him while you are with someone else than you can go back to him.

Answer 9

Just out of honesty I do believe that your the one looking for an exit on this relationship.... maybe your wanting to spread your wing and fly solo for a while.... BUT.... I seriously think " do not burn the bridge on this one" he is still the father of your child and just think what is the right thing to do.... do to others as what you have them done unto you...

Answer 10

Just face it!!! That's really all you can do. I know that he is your high school baby and the father to your child but if he's not acting right, you need to let him go! No woman needs that. I am rooting for you honey!!!!!Good Luck!!!!!