Why do people try to justify spanking? Some even try to say it hurts them more than the kids?

Question

this can't be true, if they think it is, they should let their husband or wife spank them and see if they like it or they feel humiliated. Does anybody that spanks a child think it's ok to hit an adult if you think they need to learn a lesson? Or if you think it's for their own good? If they don't think so , then why do they think it's okay to smack a kid?

Answer 1

I don't agree with spanking either, so l have to say my thinking does run along these lines, but l also have to say that spanking (with an open hand), is a legitimate form of punishment, so l'm guessing that parents who choose to use it go through these thought processes. You did raise some interesting points about hitting adults, l've often found it strange that we are allowed to hit children who are defenceless, but not adults who have a better chance of defending themselves!

Answer 2

Physical intervention is sometimes required to correct bad behavior. However, spanking is one closed fist away from a beating, which constitutes abuse. I am comfortable making a blanket statement that spanking is not a good method of helping your child understand right from wrong. The best example of this is the mother who sees her child hit another child on the playground, and then smacks her child while saying "don't hit", and then allows her child to return to playing. Did anyone see a clear punishment here? It would be much more effective to scold the child for hitting, have them apologize to the hit child and his/her guardian, and to leave the playground while explaining that they are leaving as a result of the child's behavior. This way the child is forced not to experience physical pain, but to take responsibility for their actions. While exploring this topic we must keep in mind that there are an endless amount of different situations where one can be tempted to strike another. Lets face it, hitting someone is the easy way to communicate your frustrations. Having the patience to do the right thing is a challenge to us all.

Answer 3

Wow, you're dazzling. I by no ability observed that for the period of the previous. i became into constantly spanked as a baby, and whilst i became into actual little it labored great. on the main it scared me. i think of that's a competent form of self-discipline. at circumstances i think of they spanked me too a lot over tiny issues, besides the shown fact that it might have labored. there's a great difference from spanking and beating. Having experienced the two i'm against beating yet no longer against spanking. If I ever have young ones i'm going to spank them each and every time they desire it. i do no longer see the way it relatively is abuse in any respect. &possibly it relatively is only the youngsters i've got been around, however the youngsters with 'day out' mothers are in many circumstances finished brats.

Answer 4

The reason why it hurts us more than the child is because we feel we've done everything we can to teach a child right from wrong and when that same child does something wrong, to deserve a spanking, it hurts us because we feel like we have failed at our job of being a good parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the lesson: when a child does something wrong - there must be some form of punishment otherwise the child will continue doing the wrong things and then believe it's ok to be that way.
There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with spanking a child - just do NOT go overboard and beat or abuse - this goes the same for when children are toddlers; smack their hands and eventually they will stop doing what ever it was they had their hands smacked for.
My nephews grand daughter had her hands smacked - now, when she knows not to touch things that are not her's - she learned her lesson!
For every action - there is a reaction!

Answer 5

I dont think spanking is a very accepted way of punishment... I do understand it though. My husband actually had to go get his own "switch" from a tree and had his dad spank him with it. I guess if there is NOTHING that will work as a punishment for my kids I think I would spank along with time out and then wean off of the spanking (with hand over ants, just to scare, not to hurt). I think MOST people though spank becuase it's all they know - OR they just dont want to take any energy into sticking with a punishment they may threaten with ! NO CONSISTANCY!

Answer 6

Do you have kids? And if you do have you ever spanked them? If you have not than you have no idea. I dont have to justify spanking because I was grown up with a spanking and so will my kids. I dont spank everyday just when needed. When they say it hurts them more than it does the kids. I remember when my 4 year old daughter got her first spanking. I warned her and warned her and she didnt listen after I spanked her and sent her to her room I cried. It does hurt us. I love my kids but I believe in raising them to respect adults. There are so many kids out there that needs a good spanking yelling at there parents and telling them to shut up. It seems the kids are controlling us. This was not how it was when my parents were raised, or when I was raised and it wont be that way with me.

Answer 7

You must not have kids, I was spanked and I spank, but never out of anger. I always sit my child down and have a talk about what they did, why that's not right and a better way to handle it next time. Spanking is a way of teaching your child that you have put up a line of protection because you love them and they have crossed that line and BECAUSE you love them, you have to bring them back into the protection of the boundries you've placed them within. Otherwise you will have a mouthy, out of control child who tells you what to do and you jump and do it right away. We are parents, not friends and we have to set boundries and protect our kids from making bad choices before we have no control over those choices, and when they're young spanking helps estabish those boundries and teaches action and consiquence. You may not agree, but don't assume you know how or why every parents spanks and think it is a way for parents to beat there kids. When done out of love to bring them back within your boundries there is nothing wrong with it.

Answer 8

I have "spanked" my kids while they were young. A swat on the bottom, barely felt through a diaper. It's the shock value that works, not the "abuse" or "degration". When my child walks out into the street, you bet I'm going to swat him. And you bet he won't walk back into that street again! I've tried the talking to. Here's a clue, at the age of 1 or 2, they don't understand you sitting them down and having a conversation about "why you shouldn't go in the road".
And since I have swatted their bottoms early on, a threat of a spanking works every time. I have not swatted any of them past the age of 4. I don't need to now.
I love my kids more than life itself. And if something happened to them because I was too passive to teach, I could never live with myself. Sometimes it hurts to be a parent beacuse you love so much. So there you have it.
(please don't misunderstand, if I ever see someone beating their kids, I'll be the first one to interfere!)

Answer 9

My view is that a tap of the legs or hands is OK. It should be used as a last resort and it should never actually cause pain, but just be shock.

I can't agree with people pulling down underwear and spaking on bare bottoms, as i feel that is too much of a humiliation.

I can understand your point about why we would not spank Husbands/Wifes, however by they time they have reached adulthood (hopefully) they will know not to put fingers in electric sockets and what behaviour is acceptable.

Answer 10

It's a tough one but yes I believe in the slap, not often and not hard, but those kids who were slapped when wrong, but firm in the knowledge that they are still loved for who they are, do tend to grow up better disciplined, and with a better social conscience and a better knowledge of right and wrong.

Hitting with the sole intention of hurting a child is wrong and has the opposite effect of teaching them to lash out themselves.

Establishing that NO, is a limit in their lives should start as early as possible. The slap then usually is never needed to be more than a threat, to avert worse hurt to themselves.