I have recently returned to the UK to look after my youngest child (boy) aged 15 after his mother unfotunatly died. We were divorced for quite a few years. My elder children (girls) are 21 and 18. The problem that i have is that i have always looked after myself and am in good shape, plus i have always had good jobs so i have some money. Now i am back in England the women that are interested in me are in there early to mid 20s. I know that it is not ilegal but is it right for me to date girls of this age plus some of my eldest daughters friends also are interested in me! Should i or shouldnt i is the question? I never thought it would be a problem but these girls are near the same ages of my daughters. Please only sensable replys.
2007-06-03 22:26:31 · 30 answers · asked by stewart 873 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow what a rate of replys! In answer to some questions i am 43, i have traviled a lot and can spot a gold digger a mile off. I aggre with not dateing my daughters friends as a bad idea. I like to treat ladys as ladys and the younger girls like that i think thats why i seam to be popular. I was looking for a girls point of view on this subject really.
2007-06-03 23:07:12 · update #1
I had similar "problems" with the younger set. Because I refuse to stop enjoying life and "acting my age" women my own age could not keep up. They just want to stay in and watch "soaps" in the evenings and go for walks at weekends. My lifestyle always attracted younger girls although I did not seek them in particular. Probably, the fact that I still hold my own when racing off road convinces them of my fitness and attitude to life. My last four girlfriends have all been under 28 and yet I am 54. This is younger than my eldest daughter. Yet, it always seemed to be a "teacher" type relationship as they learn the finer side of mental and physical love, what the world is really about and how to exploit its potential to its best. I now have a girlfriend who is 5yrs younger than me, who shares all my values and zest for life. It is so much easier to have some one with the same equal level mentally and experienced in life. I am not forever explaining, and yet none of my girlfriends were dumb, just that they hadn't really lived yet. Don't worry about it, just take life and enjoy it, as long as you do not cause hurt to any of them.
2007-06-03 22:43:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are too old for these girls. I am guessing that you are early forties. I think that men that go for girls are looking for someone who they can manipulate. Girls of this age do think that they know everything, however as you get old you realise that you are learning from life’s experiences all the time. Younger girls tend to be attracted to older men from a security point of view, more money, and they think that they are put on a pedestal more than a guy there own age would. Also they tend to think a older guy will be grateful to get her and do what she wants because, he will be frightened of losing a young thing. This is not true as older guys can become very controlling over young women. You will become an embarrassment to your daughters, who wants an old lech for a father? They know that some of their other friends and friend’s parents will be sniggering at their old man. Also as time passes younger women tend to get bored, by the time your girlfriend is your age will she really want a some old man. Most women in there forties will not be interested in some 60+. So where will that leave you then? Lonely I imagine. I have a daughter around that age and I would be horrified if my lovely daughter picked up with some old coot. (Good shape or not) Men always like to look at nice looking young women, that’s natural and understandable but you should keep it to looking and find someone nearer your own age.
Men may think that they can spot a gold digger, I think you are naive. I have heard many women talk behind there partners back. You would be suprised how cunning some women are.
2007-06-04 06:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by tempest 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry for your family's loss.
How old are you? Can't really decide without knowing that. Personally, as a woman in my 20's, I would have a problem with your children being my age. However, if these women know and accept your childrens' age I can't see that it would be an issue. You obviously have a lot to offer and if 2 individuals can make each other happy i think that's a great thing. As an afterthought... how will your children feel about you dating women their age? Only you know that, so I'll leave it with you and not judge.
Good luck, hope you find love :)
2007-06-04 05:43:38 · answer #3 · answered by tigerfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what you are looking for.If a proper steady relationship then don't rush into anything. There is nothing wrong in an age gap if the persons are right for each other.Watch out though for the women who may just be wanting to secure their futures with a financially stable man. If on the other hand you are only after sexual satisfaction from these women the ages don't matter as there is no long term relationship,but keep it discreet so you do not embarrass your kids.
2007-06-04 05:39:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 23 and have two children of my own 2years & 7 months.
My stepmother is 26 and my Dad is 51 and I have a half sister of 4 and one on the way.
Which mean's my children have a aunt who is only 3 years old than them, and the baby thats on the way will have a nephew and neice older than him/her.
In my day all my auntie and uncle's were at least 20 years older than me. When I first met her I thought she was a goldigger, she was only 19 when they met, and yes she has a good lifestyle with my Dad, I just don't think she would be happy going back to what she was before they first met! I just think it's really bizare, but if my Dad is happy than so am I.
2007-06-04 05:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by sallyally 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You should never become romantically involved with your children's friends. I am not too straight laced though if you want to fool around go ahead. Just not with your daughters friends. That is a no no. You sound like you have your sh... together so being a gentleman you really could date who ever you want and age should not be a factor. Now everything else is a factor. Like personality, looks, talent, brains and many others but never age. Unless it is illegal of course. As a woman I like all ages just to have fun. But usually it is some one closer to my age that I have romantic and meaningful relationships with. But that is just me. Your free to do as you wish. Just remember not your daughters friends and you will be A ok. Good luck have some fun and don't worry about it. Time to have fun you have everything else now enjoy your hard work!!!
2007-06-04 05:39:49 · answer #6 · answered by fnbug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think age is just a number, if these girls are mature and smart and u think u would get along with them (not just find them sexy and young) then go ahead....but I would not suggest u dating your daughters friends...is there r so many girls interested in you just date someone who isnt a friend of your daughter...they would probably find it very freaky if u do...
plus I would also advise u to consider your feelings in this situation....if you want to date these women because they are young and beautiful, then dont....but if there are other reasons besides that then go for it....
also u said u have money so maybe they r into u for the money....be careful about that too!
Good Luck
2007-06-04 05:32:47 · answer #7 · answered by kera 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think the only thing that matters is how you feel towards each other. Your children will learn to accept no matter what, just as you will accept them no matter what. That is what a family is about. If you are serious about these relationships then I say go forward and your children will understand. If you are just out there for a little booty from a younger girl, realize you could be risking the ideals your children have about you. It all depends on what is important to you.
2007-06-04 05:57:20 · answer #8 · answered by Greg U 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself if you'd find the relationship fulfilling. A person so much younger than you is going to be pretty inexperienced and naieve in comparison to yourself.
Also, can you deal with the effect it's likely to have on your children (especially if you chose someone who's a friend to one of your daughters). Is it fair for you to inflict this on them?
At the end of the day, ask yourself why you have to ask the question in the first place. I think you'll find that you don't feel comfortable with the idea and with good reason.
Good luck coming to a descision. If you chose to go for it, I hope it works out well in the end. Just make sure you do it for the right reasons - bad motivations will land you in a world of hurt eventually.
appologies for any spelling errors - the spelling tool refuses to work this morning.
2007-06-04 05:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by Volksmecha 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you are worried about upsetting your daughter why don't you sit her down and ask for her opinion as she might be uncomfortable with you dating her friends.
I don't think that there is anything wrong with dating younger women and to be quite honest if I was single,I would be flattered to have younger women approaching me.
Good for you, you sound like you work hard to keep yourself in shape and to look good, now my friend sit back and reap the benefits!!!.
2007-06-04 05:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by Tooly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋