How am I supposed to get clean off dope for myself when I dont care about myself?

Question

I lost the love of my life because I wont get sober. I hear that I got to get sober for myself to be successful.
I was there for her when she got clean then when I want the same support in return she leaves me.
She is the reason I want to be a better person but she has this hatred for me and refuses to help because I have to do it for myself she keeps saying. I have suffered from depression for over half my life. I am 26. I have never seen a doctor. I have tried taking pills to OD but i've had devine intervention hit me twice. Does that mean I have to stay alive for my ex?? Because there is no one on this earth that I would die for.
I have needed her support to beat this addiction. I don't want to do it for me if she isn't in my life. she is my life and i'm nothing without her.

IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR ME? FOR US?

I loved myself when we were together cause I was loved by someone else and it mattered that i was alive. if there is someone else that loves me in the world its my mother and she doesnt show it at all. the decisions she makes are enough to keep me distant. She could really care less. my parents didnt raise me. they complained about me throughout my childhood and i never got into trouble. grounding me to my room for not waking up to my alarm clock for school kept me outta being a pest. i never was able to be a kid and have role models. you may think life couldnt be that bad and i guess it wasnt. I was always alone and I dealt with it for years until I fell in love. I turned to street life when I was 14 so I could become a man instead of a burden. the day I turned 18 I got kicked out and I wasnt outta school yet. I graduated on time cause It was supposed to mean something. It didnt mean a damn thing. My dad never was around and my mom doesnt support me. Y be clean for me? NOBODY CARES.

Answer 1

What, you don't know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, the very hairs of your head are numbered and God gave you at least one talent? Since we are to love others as we love ourselves is it possible to love anyone until we love and like the person we are? You say you want to get better because of her? It won't work because it is putting a huge burdon on her when she is trying to stay strong herself. God is real and you know because you have had devine intervention before. Your character and personality belong to yourself and to God not to any other human and you cannot make them responsible for that. People help pad the way but ultimately you are the one who got yourself where you are and you are the only one that can get yourself out of where you are. Choices. When you get out of bed in the morning you can choose to be glad or choose to be sad. I will tell you one thing, if you maintain an upbeat, cheerful attitude, people will enjoy being around you. You can kick the habit. Read all you can and understand how it affects your body. If you have health insurance, get help. Make sure your nutrition is up. If your body is lacking what it needs then it will affect your mind also. There is a nutritional drink that is flavorful that I like called Odwalla Smoothie Blueberry B Monster. Loaded with B vitamins. C is the healing vitamin. When you become the man you should be then you will be much more attractive to your lady friend. I expect if you are using then you are not working and unable to provide. Get it together man, life is too short to not enjoy it. It goes by so fast but when you are young you don't realize it. Like so many of us who turn 60 we wonder, "Wow! Where did it go? It seemed so fast". Look for the beauty in life. There is plenty of it if you look. Picture yourself writing down the words, "JUST STOP!", and taking you imaginary scissors and cutting it out. Place the imaginary statement across your forehead and everywhere you go, picture it. No one can see it but you.You can do this for any negative in your life and take control over your own destiny. God bless you, you are in my heart and prayers. You can do it and don't have people tell you what the Bible says...read it. Proverbs is fun to read. I also like Thessalonians and Corinthians...oh man there are so many that are beautiful. It is like a treasure map loaded with treasures of peace, joy and love. And remember, it is not her support that will help you kick it...it is you taking God's hand. God bless you and He does so much. Mmm

I know you have had a hard and lonely life. Many of us have so we know what you are talking about. By the time I was six I had endured name changes and home changes and abuse. It was at 6 I learned about God and He helped me through the remaining abusive years. It is not God's fault that the people in our lives chose a selfish lifestyle that affected us. When you can seperate yourself from your situation and look at it from a distance you will be able to see your parents as needy, insufficient human beings who are in need of prayer. I expect that once you get yourself straight that you will be the blessing they need in their lives to find God and live a righteous life. You belong to God and you have a lot of blessing you can do around you on His behalf. God works through people. Pray for your girlfriend too. Pray for her to see you as a strong man capable of taking care of yourself. Perhaps when you get your life together you will find that perhaps she is not the one for you. I have seen it happen before when a guy thought he could not live without someone. Finds a fruitful life with God at the helm and God sends the perfect one for him. Bless you my dear, there are more of us here than you realize so we know.

Answer 2

You are saying that you do not care about yourself so there is no point getting clean off dope. You are twenty six and I am sure that this addiction must have affected you badly. You need to take care of you and you come first before anybody else. You have abused yourself enough so please now do some good. This world is such that if you are successful and doing well in your life so many people run after you.
In this case it is very important that you take the initiative and start treatment by your own efforts. Trust me that you will be successful and a few years from now your outlook will be totally different. You also need treatment for depression so please go and seek some help. I am sure that once you start treatment then your thinking will also change. You should not depend on her and it is possible that after you initiate the whole process and go to rehabilitation she might come to you. You can decide at that time whether to keep her or let her go. You will get many people who never had any problems. Be good to yourself and take good care of you. You will not get this life again and do the best you can. You appear to be obsessed by the lady and that could be part of your depression. Trust me there is hope for you once you take the first step and go to rehabilitation or mental health. Good luck.

Answer 3

nah, there's nothing like that and, reality check here, if you goof off and play you're not gonna get anywhere! I'm not saying that to discourage you, but so what if other kids laugh at you because you don't "get " something. When you're older you could be better at something than they are, or even there boss if you buckle down NOW ! And don't say you don't care about yourself. That isn't true. If you really didn't care about yourself you wouldn't be smart enough to get an account on here, nor an email, so you might need some counselling or something but in your school they keep all that stuff at your age extremely confidential. The only people who willl know are your teachers, the counsellor, and you. Don't be too hard on yourself now. All the counsellor is gonna want to know is why you feel that way. I guarantee nobody in your school will know, and everything will be kept private.

Answer 4

Even though this may sound hard for you I want you to know that the purpose in life is not that someone cares for you it is that you care for others. When you start showing you care for others, especially those like yourself ( I can assure you there are many people just like you) it will be then and only then that you feel true love and peace. The only true friend you need is Jesus. If you follow his word and his example of helping others the rest of your life will fall into place.

I agree with you that you need support. We all do. Maybe you are looking for your support in the wrong places. I hear that you love your wife, but for her that is not enough. You have to not only say it but show it. It is usually the hardest on the ones we love most. You need to get yourself to drug and alcohol meetings. I know some people who had been on drugs in the past and through these meetings have now been off them including alcohol for years. These groups are very close net. They are like family. Even when you are off drugs you are part of that family for life. In return you help others with that same problem. A friend has been off drugs for many years now along with his brother. They still attend these meetings and also take others under their wing to help them along.

You should also see a doctor and a therapist. Try to find a Christian therapist. They tend to be more understanding. Find a church to go to. Speak to the pastor. It best to be open about your problem. When others understand what is going on it is easier for them to be able to help. When you are sneaky and try to cover up your problem people get supicioius, so then they don't understand, and then you may not get the help you need.

It is wonderful that you are coming forward and admitting your problem, even if it is only on yahoo. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Next you need to get on your knees and pray for God'd guidance and direction. Then get help. You need to do this for yourself. People will not find you, you have to go to them. If you don't tell others you have a problem, admit it and want help, you won't get it. Remember be open and honest with God, yourself, and others.

I am sorry about your childhood. It sounds like it was very hard. Some parents can be over baring. That is no excuse of how you act once you become an adult. You are all grown up now and are responsible for yourself. The way you live your life once you leave home is up to you. Be a man. Grow up. No one else can live or run your life.

Answer 5

Quit blaming her for your problems. You have a brain and made your own decisions. It is time for you to grow up and do something for yourself. My suggestion is to have a doctor recommend someone that can give you therapy and prescribe an antidepressant. If you can not go to a doctor, there are mental health clinics you can go to. Time to make a move in the right direction.

Your girl is right. You have to want to do it. No one can make you or cause you to do it. Maybe if you got straight, she would come back to you. If she is straight, she does not need to be around someone that is not.

Believe it or not, the reason that you are so miserable is because you have an addiction. Once you kick your habit, your life will improve!!!

Answer 6

You gotta do it for You. You are what Matters. Don't you realize that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else? It's B.S. she should be there for you, but if she isn't do it for you. Your Life is Precious-It wasn't a mistake-You are here for a reason or you would have already been gone. Do it! By God there is hope for you. It's like the song Desperado. You been out riding fences for so long now. You gotta let somebody love you-let somebody love you -before it's too late. and it's not.It Never is..Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 7

Awwwwww sweety, You dont see it do you?? There is SOOO much hope the second you think there is. For one, you think you can get sober and her back right? And its 10000000000000% percent possible. So thats more than hope! Its real.

She dosent hate, you. She loves you, or she wouldnt care and go through that much to save you. But she is in the wrong, she thinks because she did it by herself, its the only way and you can do it too. Well even though her heart is in the right place, her foot isnt. And try to talk to her, explain why you need her help on watching you, and telling you how good you have been doing. You just need someone because you have no one. Tell her she is the only person because you love her sooo much. All girls dream for any man to tell her he loves her, even if she dosent show it, dosent love him, or anything. If you mean it, from your heart and your not corny about it, dude you got it made.

OK, I have never done drugs, but I think I can help you stop, and try to get a life back, and your girlfriend. Even over the net, I think it can be done. Do you want my help??
I really want to help you.

For one, your childhood. Mine wasnt that great either. But because it was, to get back at it, I dont care. Im the person i am right now for it. So just think, because of the crap it caused, it making you, you. So you know what?Screw it. Look at it, and say because of you im like this, so bye bye.

Second, your life. Do you have a job? a pet? close friend?
Let me know everything!

third, the drugs.
Ok, im very sorry if im going to sound a bit mean!
My motto, and I dont care if its stupid. Personally i think its the best motto in the whole wide world. DRUGS ARE FOR BUGS!!
LOL. I just love it! ok, what drugs are you taking? if its like weed or crack, you can get off it easy you just dont know it. Temptation is the killer. your GF did it, by herself, so you can too.You deserve to be happy, and im upset that you let your self not be. In school we did this report, on drugs. And alot of people who do them, do it to feel better about something, your case, your life. And did you know that it actually MAKES it WORSE!!!!! because the damage it does to your brain. Your even probably thinking about suicide. DONT!!!!!!! Im sorry, but what religion are you??
And tell me whats so hard about getting off of it? Tell me so I can help you.

Here is my email address. [e-mail]
My name is Cristina, I know I can help you, please give me a chance. There is sooo much I can do if you listen, and I listen to you.

Answer 8

For some inspiration watch the movie "The Secret." This will bring a new realm of possibility in your life.

Go to the Landmark Forum seminar. http://www.landmarkeducation.com/display_content.jsp?top=21&mid=59

Eat a raw vegan diet. http://www.living-foods.com/faq.html

Life is empty and meaningless. This means you can fill this emptiness with anything and create the meaning of life.

Learn to let go.

Meditate everyday for 1000 days.

There is so many other girls out there. Try another one.

Answer 9

You create your own joy and happiness, if only you will believe that. It is not dependent on another person or circumstances in your life.

Love yourself and when you truly do,you will do everything in your power to give yourself a better life, healthy, peace, joy and then you go and find a person that you truly deserve and who deserves you.

Do something about your self-esteem. Get help, get healing.

Answer 10

why dont you love yourself? see yourself like you are a little kid, when you were 5. be good to yourself. why not? its actually kinda fun taking care of yourself. swap your addictions for healthier ones. its easier than you think. you just have to rewire your brain to think differently. its not too late. instead of taking drugs to think differently, just do some mental exercises. give it 6 months of working out and eating well. youll love it.