They have a 3 yr old daughter together, have been divorced for a almost two years, she is already remarried and has a 1 yr old with her new husband. We have been friends for over 20 yrs.
2007-06-03 19:15:18 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would say no. Yes, she may have given you her blessing and tried to set the two of you up, but it could blow up and backfire in your face. Would you rather keep your best friend, or have her ex-husband? Provided, keep in mind, that if something happens to cause bad feelings between the two of you that she will still be in his life because they have a three year old daughter together, so you seeing her regardless of your feelings for each other afterward will be a given.
She may be fine with it now, but she may have mixed feelings as the two of you get more and more serious. You won't be able to have them both together at the same time if they harbour any hard feelings for each other, so no at-home dinners or going out together in a group. You would have to split your time between the two of them, and they may not like that very well. You also can't share all of that "best friend" information on guys like you once could, because she isn't going to want to hear about what you and her ex-husband have been up to, or she will already know about it because she will have been there, done that before. She may also get jealous is he happens to love you more or treat you better than he did her while they were together.
I guess it comes down to this: Are you willing to lose a best friend of 20 years for her ex-husband should this all backfire?
2007-06-03 19:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 22:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by Ronda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't force my husband to go, he may not feel comfortable being around Jill since he has slept with her in the past. Put yourself in his shoes, life's not easy sometimes. You can be nice to Jill and maybe go by yourself to see Bob's daughter (if you must) but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Going could cause conflict with your husband. If you and your husband are getting along fine, I wouldn't let anyone interfere with that. Just live life and be happy. Call Kay on her special day and ask her to come visit you sometime at your house, then you and your husband can both enjoy her company without distractions.
2016-05-20 23:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in most cases I would say no, but because she has so obviously moved on with her life then it might work. Just be careful, because you do not want anything to come in between you and your friends (ex..issues with the 3 year old daughter should you and the ex husband work out.) I would have to REALLY like this guy to be set up with him.
2007-06-03 19:19:37 · answer #4 · answered by tired 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me give you an angle to this I'm not quite sure you have thought of. You say she is your best friend, so that has to mean that the two of you are a lot alike in a lot of ways...that being the case, if it didn't work out between the two of them, what makes you think it can work for you?
Several things are going to happen, dating you is going to remind him of bad points in his marriage to your best friend. Which is going to cause issues between the two of you. If you have problems in your relationship, the one person you would normally talk to, your best friend, you can't, because she won't give objective advice.
It's a horrible idea to date friend's ex's...there is just way too much common ground that can easily turn into a warzone. I seriously suggest you look to someone else for a healthy long term relationship.
2007-06-03 19:24:15 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is ok with it then I don't see why not. But, if you do go for it be careful about not involving her should there be problems in your relationship with him. This could ultimately cause problems between you and your friend. It would be a shame to have that happen in a friendship of that length. It's always risky with a situation like that but handled properly you could be headed for a great life with your new man. Good luck!
2007-06-03 19:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by Sniggle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better you then someone else, I would think is the thought process going on in your friends mind.
If your still friends that's great. It may be somewhat of a bad situation that turns into a good one.
I say go for it!
2007-06-03 19:23:57 · answer #7 · answered by Just G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is trying to set you up, then she seems very OK with it. Just watch out. Us females are wiley creatures that tend to change our minds. Tread carefully because she may be fine with it until you two get serious, then it may bother her and that could affect your long-standing friendship.
2007-06-03 19:21:08 · answer #8 · answered by tigger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i wouldnot because it is still going to be some confusion she is just alright with it now because u have not done anything but when u do u will see the change in her attitude
2007-06-03 19:20:21 · answer #9 · answered by latoya r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean it wouldn't be so weird if she didn't have a kid with the guy but damn, that's very weird. I mean if you really like him and like you said, she gives her blessings, then go for it.
2007-06-03 19:19:40 · answer #10 · answered by Veritas et Aequitas () 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋