My daughters shower will be this August. About 200 people invited to the wedding,almost all from out of town. We are not extremely close to our out of town family but all ,of course, will be invited to the wedding.
My question: People will be flying from California to New York, staying in a hotel and all that,if they attend the wedding.I can invite them all to the shower, too,knowing they won't come but after all that potential expense, I feel...funny asking them to a shower to which they cannot go and knowing they feel obligated to send a gift. I, frankly, don't know how many are actaully planning on coming to the wedding..hardly any, I think..So, do we invite them to the shower?
2007-06-03 19:11:45 · 11 answers · asked by dmalfet 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, don't feel obligated to invite them - and don't worry, they won't feel slighted, they'll know it's a distance thing.
For a shower, it's usually just the girls and women from the family on both sides, the bridesmaids, close friends, and close neighbours/co-workers.
2007-06-04 00:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I can only tell you about my personal experience - I did not invite my husband's sisters - one b/c she was in California (wedding in WA) and I knew it would be too far to come and the other b/c she and my now-husband had been not speaking for a year due to an argument. I didn't want to get in the middle of that, so neither was invited. This bit me in the butt when it came time for the wedding b/c the sister in the argument was PISSED she didn't get invited to the shower......and basically did everything she could to make our wedding a disaster. SO, if your family is likely to be vengeful and easily offended, INVITE them! If you don't think they'll care...then maybe don't. I know it's not proper etiquette...but I'd honestly try talking to at least some of them and just find out if they WANT to come...and if they do, invite them, if they don't, then don't.
2007-06-03 19:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by bluehonu13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I got married two years ago, I too had a lot of out of town guests and family that I didn't really know that were invited to the wedding. For my side of the family, we only invited the women that lived in the area and my friends. However, we invited all of the women on my husbands side unless my mother-in-law told me not too. I hope this helps.
2007-06-03 19:18:26 · answer #3 · answered by Mandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would really only ask close friends and family to the shower. Being invited to the shower, of course they are invited to the wedding. It is simply a step more for those ppl you, your daughter, future son-in-law and the respective families are close to. I would not ask these out of town guests unless they are very close.
2007-06-03 19:15:52 · answer #4 · answered by tired 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent, I would have a close family shower. Parents, grandparents, siblings, friends. Stick to local family and friends who are in your daughter's life on a daily basis. If an out of town attendant will be there, then invite them. But if not, don't. Keep it simple. Ask your daughter who she would like to be there.
2007-06-03 19:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally the shower is thrown by the Maid/Matron of Honor, and the people invited are usually close to the bride, like best friends, the bridal party, siblings, counsins, etc. There is no need to send invites to people from out of town, knowing that they cannot make it.
2007-06-03 19:15:13 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bridal shower is usually for the females. So bride has her girlfriends any female family members she's close to, mothers from both sides, and sisters from both sides. Distant family or any family that the bride doesn't have consistent contact with I would say no.
If you guys are going for a shower with both females and males, then I would go by the same rules, just close friends and family, (not distance close, but relationship close).
2007-06-03 19:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by Nikki S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might as well just invite them its the thought that counts. If they can make it good, and if not at least you wont have it in your conscience that you didn't invite them and that they might get word from someone else that they went to the wedding shower.
2007-06-03 19:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by Primadonna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not give them a call ,tell them you are planning the wedding shower and ask them if it's possible for them to make it.If yes,tell them they are welcome,if not just say that you are looking forward seeing them at the wedding.That's all.
2007-06-03 19:21:08 · answer #9 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some time we thinks other wise .
Keep cool ,
Invite all of them .
2007-06-03 19:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jacky.- the "INDIAN". 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋