This morning I was sitting outside with a friend having coffee at a local Starbucks, when I witnessed two young girls (about 13-15 years old) sitting at the table next to us. One of the girls, saw a spider crawl across the table and took out her lighter (why she had a lighter one can only guess) to light it on fire! Her friend just watched her and stated "oh you're mean" in a very casual manner. I am not a parent, but I hope that when I do have a daughter (or son) that age, they would show more compassion for living things - even if it is a spider! I was so upset, but my freind thought that I was over reacting. What do you parents out there think?
2007-06-03 18:37:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She could have just flicked it away - did she have to set it on fire?
2007-06-03 18:39:34 · update #1
To Scott R: I was wearing my flame-retardant jacket.
2007-06-03 18:54:58 · update #2
I'm not a parent, but I wanted to comment because I've been in a similar position as you. I live near a lagoon where there are frequently ducks and geese on the lawn in front of my apartment. Sometimes small children run up and scare the crap out of the wildlife, and it irritates me that the parents don't teach their children not to do that. My friends who have children sort of shrug it off, and say that is just how children are. I would understand if they were very small children, like 2 or 3, but I'm talking about kids that are 5 or 6, old enough to understand.
I agree with you, that children should be taught to respect life in all forms and no kid of mine would ever be allowed to burn spiders or engage in any act of cruelty toward living things. I know some people here will say "it's just a spider, who cares", but it symbolizes an attitude in general, a lack of respect for life in general.
2007-06-03 18:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
That would have irritated me too. And they should not have been playing with a lighter. I would have went ans told the manager that the girls were putting a lighter to their table. Outside table or not, I bet the manager would have said something to them and hopefully maybe at least embarrassed them a little.
As far as overreacting, no I don't think you did. you just had an opinion on it and related it to your hopes of not bearing a child so cruel. The thing is many teenagers 13-15 do stupid stuff because they think it will make them look cool or some are just don't really know better yet because of lack of maturity. I may have never burned a spider, but I do know I did some stupid stuff during that age.
2007-06-04 01:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by jane d 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Burning is torture. There are three things in children that are predictors of criminal behavior: torturing animals, lighting fires and bed wetting past a certain age. Sounds like this girl has two out of the three. The fact that she has a lighter also suggests she's in trouble because she may be smoking or doing other things. You were right, your friend is wrong. For more insight, try reading, "Kids who Kill" or "The Gift of Fear" as your intuition is absolutely right. As to what you could do in that moment, probably nothing, which is sad. If you knew the girl, you could speak to her parents, but they probably already know they have a problem. She may be a sociopath or a psychopath. Not much you can do. Just sad, really.
2007-06-04 01:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i have a teenage daughter.... 1st comment . she has a lighter. she dont smoke never has or will she knows its bad. but she has a lighter for when she applies her eyeliner... and if my daughter was out in about at night and something happened where she couldnt see i would want her to use her lighter to guide her.... 2nd I was bit by a brown recluse 4 yrs ago. have u ever seen what they do? go look it up. its a very nasty spider. ppl have to get limbs cut off cause it rots your skin off.. and my child was here at my home and saw what i went through. months of pain. so yes my child would of killed it. do u know there is so much worse those teenagers could of been doing. and u want to pick over that?
2007-06-04 08:58:24 · answer #4 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry im a mom of a 4 year old and id set it on fire....seriously theres more things to be upset about in this world besides a little spider being lit on fire!
2007-06-04 02:03:01 · answer #5 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If I spent 5 minutes sitting next to your bleeding heart babbling at a Starbucks, there is a strong chance I might set you on fire. It's a spider gosh sakes.
2007-06-04 01:46:11 · answer #6 · answered by Scott R 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I set ticks on fire all the time. A spider is a bug. What's the difference in burning it and squishing it?
2007-06-04 01:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by E's Mommy 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
spiders come and go yes its a living thing but you never know a spider can bite spiders give me goose bumps if you really cared you should of saved it lol
2007-06-04 01:56:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have said something. I know that I would have gotten a nasty look or comment, but I would have trouble just watching and not saying anything. Maybe the girls would ignore me then, but think about it my comment at another time. Maybe their parents hadn´t taught them boundries etc.
However, at times, I am also shocked at things, and end up not saying something when I should have - so I´m not blaming you! I just mean, in my eyes, it deserved a comment.
2007-06-04 06:03:35 · answer #9 · answered by Bonnie 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Ohh... you can just flick them away? Looking back over the years i've wasted alot of lighter fluid when it comes to spiders. But thanks, Now i know.
2007-06-04 01:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by Griz ! 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋