parents and religon?

Question

ok what do i do my mom makes me go to church i dont even believe in god and she says ill burn in hell if i dont belive. she treats me differnt from the rest of the family just cuz i think of something differnt. is there anyway i can say something to change her opoion?

Answer 1

Your mom treats you differently because as christian parents we are responsible for you, to take care of you, physically, emotional, and spiritually. Your mom moves you and it is very hard for a parent to think their child will be internally separated from God.

Answer 2

1) how old are you?
I think that children to about 13 should just listen to their parents. Cause, if the parents choose to go to church, they can`t very well leave their kids at home, unsupervised.

2) one arguement you could use is that you are looking for 'the truth'. There are a lot of christians that feel 'the church' is too confining, too strict, and generally un-christian for their faith, so one doesn`t need a church to be a christian.

3) regardless of the oh-so-mature christian bashers here - having faith is not bad. It is just something that cannot be forced on anyone. Religious fanatics saying "believe or die" just have people acting in fear, not a real life changing conversion.
The ONLY person that can decide whether or not to believe in God is you. YOU make that decision, and forcing you to do anything will most likely result in you getting angry, and running away from that which your mother would like you to run to.

on a side note : Yes, i do believe in God and Jesus.
I also believe that you have a free choice to do so as well, or to not do so. I`d like for you to believe as i do - but i cannot force you. You choose. I will not think less of you if you decide not to, or not yet.

Answer 3

Honest answer? Probably not.

So what can you do? The only option is to show more respect towards her decisions than she shows towards yours. You might not like being dragged to church, but when you live in someone else's house, you go by their rules. Maybe you can reach a compromise and find something at the church you do want to be a part of. Despite what your intentions might be, frame it in a way that she'll appreciate:

"Mom, I don't find God at the Church Services. I noticed there is a youth group that happens at the same time. Can I sign up for that instead? I might be able to get closer to God that way." If you phrase it like that...where you're stating her ultimate goal....then you'll have better success.

The youth group will be in context of their faith as well, but at least you'll be around people your age and might make a lot of good friends.

In all, you may have to chalk this up to a similar experience as going to have dinner with their boring friends. It's just something you have to do sometimes when you live with parents. Just go, make the best of it, listen to what the preacher is talking about, and decide for yourself if you agree/disagree with it. Even if you think everything the minister says is BS, I have noticed some of the best advice I have gotten is from people who I completely disagree with on most things. So even when you're in a situation you hate, always try to pull out some good and it will at least be better than sitting down and hating to be there.

As far as your mom, she might not be handling the situation very well, but she means well. Just keep showing her your love and she'll come around.

Matt

Answer 4

Probably not. If she's fanatical enough to tell you you're going to hell for nonbelief, you're probably not going to win that argument with her, though at your age I would have tried (and did).

One thing I tried to do was learn more about their religion than they knew. It... generally didn't do much beyond allow me to feel superior, since even if I knew some point of their own religion, they'd continue to think their misconception was correct. But, if you're in a social situation full of supposed Christians that you need to navigate for your own comfort, it might be a good idea. Maybe some of the Christians on here can help you find some quote on judging others. I don't think a philosophical discussion on the literal or figurative nature of the lake of fire would be of much help to you, people always ignore a kid who's disagreeing with them.

On the other hand, you might just say **** it, and just deal with it. In the grand scheme of things, being forced to go to church is not the worst abuse you can suffer. If your mother is emotionally alienating you that's another matter. But mild levels of abuse aren't really something you can do much about. Someone on here will probably flame me for saying it--and it's true, telling someone to accept abuse only makes them accept that they deserve it when they don't--but in reality no one will remove you for that, and if that's all that's going on there are much worse home situations to be in.

Email me with a specific argument, I might be able to help if you don't get anyone more knowledgeable.

Answer 5

I really feel for you, because I have had religious differences with my parents too, and it has caused much heartache for us all.

There may not actually be a whole lot you can do, besides these VERY important things:
1. Respect your mom's belief, even though it does not happen to be your own.
2. Just be a good person, so that she can maybe ease her mind that you are not going to hell.

Have compassion on your mom. She loves you, and her belief that non-Christians are going to hell is making her hurt for you. I do not agree with her any more than you do about this. But it is her belief, and is not likely to change. Think about how awful it would be to honestly believe that someone you loved dearly was going to go to hell! That would be awful! So, with this in mind, keep up compassion for her.

Answer 6

I believe differently than my family. Me beliefs changed over time theirs did not. I've spoken my piece in some areas, but in many things I remain a chameleon for the love of my family.

If you still live at home, you should probably respect your mom's wishes. She wants the best for you, she fears for you. Going to church for a couple of hours a week may ease your tensions.

Don't just tell her what you don't believe, tell her what you do believe and why. Bring your differences up slowly, and perhaps her perspective will change.

Answer 7

There is probably nothing you can say that would make her stop caring for you. She wants you to go to church because she loves you and wants you to have the same benefits she has gained from her beliefs.

I suggest trying to remember that she loves you and has your best interests at heart. Treat her with respect, which includes obedience.

As you grow up and become a better person you'll be able see her good qualities and overlook any faults she has.

Answer 8

SATAN TELLS YOU:
just tell her ok then I guess I am. And don't go to church. She ant make you you don't have to get up and go and she isn't going to drag you out of the house to go. Tell her your fine with going to hell. Then say but I am also pretty sure that there is no hell. If she tries to make you go just say no, tell her you don;t want o be disrespectful. If she makes you go though, be rude and obnoxious in church. Ask question challenging the church in the middle of mass. That will make her think twice about bringing you.

O.K. This was SATAN'S advice to you. Does he love you? Or does your mom?

Your mom does, of course, and you love her so, obey her.

I'm sorry you are saying that you don't believe in God. Most of the people on this subject are telling you that there is no proof in God. I am telling you that there is no proof that there is no God.

If you will read the Bible you will find that In the book of Isaiah chapter 53, which was written 600 years before Jesus was born, Isaiah tells all about Him. How could Isaiah have known about Jesus if it was 600 years before his birth? There are many more reasons to believe.

Without Jesus there is no forgiveness of sin. Without forgiveness of sin, there is no eternal life with God. Mom is correct.

Answer 9

just tell her ok then I guess I am. And don't go to church. She ant make you you don't have to get up and go and she isn't going to drag you out of the house to go. Tell her your fine with going to hell. Then say but I am also pretty sure that there is no hell. If she tries to make you go just say no, tell her you don;t want o be disrespectful. If she makes you go though, be rude and obnoxious in church. Ask question challenging the church in the middle of mass. That will make her think twice about bringing you.

Answer 10

wow, i feel for you... if you're close to moving out, get a stress ball and think, "x more years, x more years"...

here's something that i would totally understand you not wanting to do, but it would make your life much easier:
make a mask for yourself. come up with a moderate belief system to wear for the time being that will get your mom off your back. maybe a metaphorical interpretation of the bible rather than a literal one, or perhaps pantheism... it would depend on what your mom would buy... i know, it's not the best solution, but sometimes it is best to not tell certain people that you're atheist. just don't start believing your own BS... stay true to yourself. if that means toughing out the storm, more power to you. but there's no shame in cutting your losses. you only get one life.

good luck, i hope things work out for you...

Answer 11

your mother has a deep faith and that's her opinion her faith teaches her to raise up her children in the ways of God and her not doing this is unacceptable to her /sure she could approach your beliefs in a more loving and gentle approach but that's not every ones way of dealing with things I think God is big enough to handle your non belief and your mother should show the love of God not the condemnation Faith brings forth very strong emotions in people some people use it in a way that seems unfair and abrasive they need to practice what they learn to love one another without conditions good luck but don't condemn your mom for loving you and wanting what she believes is the best for your life your still young and have not experienced the things maybe she has. she leans on her faith for her daily strength and there's nothing wrong with that