You are just no longer attracted to your wife? I cheated on my wife, we seperated and we decided to get back together, but I have realized I am just no longer attracted to her. She has gained alot of weight after being pregnant with our second child (who passed away) and she has not made any attempt to lose weight. She does not keep her hair fixed all the time and sometimes she just lays around the house in sweatpants. I made a vow to stay with her forever and I want to do that, but I can not make love to her. Touching her and seeing her nude makes me sick to my stomach.
What should I do?
2007-06-03 15:55:32 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
She weighs like 250#, she never wears makeup unless we go to church, she doesn't shave her legs on a regular basis. I love her as a person but how can I go the rest of my life without having my physical needs met?
2007-06-03 15:56:42 · update #1
a-lex - I am asking random people because I don't want to cause a fight. How would you react if your husband told you he no longer wanted to make love to you because you were fat and disgusting?
2007-06-03 15:59:47 · update #2
Dane's Sweetheart - she wants to make love with me. She has asked me every night since I came home. I understand it is hard to lose weight but she doesn't even try!
2007-06-03 16:04:06 · update #3
I'm not a Christian man, but I am a woman who is a child of God. Please don't take what I say as an insult. Sir I suggest you pray! Try praying for yourself first; for God to change you and give you the passion and love you once had for your wife. Pray for her too. As others have said she may be depressed. You both have been through some hard times, but her body has been through some serious changes. I don't mean the physical appearance you see. A miscarriage has an effect on a woman's body that NO MAN can begin to understand. When you pray remember to give it to God and let Him do the work. I know easier said than done, but He's capable and much more effective in getting the job done. In other words do what you can to help, but don't be a NAG. A marriage is give and take and sometimes it isn't 50/50.
2007-06-03 16:24:22 · answer #1 · answered by pottersclay70 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are a Christian, then you should know that God never promised that it would be easy to stay with your wife. Have you considered the thought that this might be a test? That would be the first thought in my mind. Commitment doesn't always equal happiness, I hope you will take some time to pray about this. Also, as a Christian, you should not love your wife only for her looks, your real concern should not be that you might not have your needs met, but that you don't love her for anything other than her apperance. That is the real issue. And, for the person who said this is depression, that is funny that you would take these common behaviors of many busy wives and mothers and assume that the lady is depressed. Too much Dr. Phil!!
2007-06-03 16:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by Allison S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you. I had a miscarriage of my first child and I didn't give a happy d**n about anything. Now when I was 5 months pregnant with my daughter, my then husband told me he wanted a divorce. I went into a depression and was very lucky that I didn't loose her. I gained weight and didn't do anything with myself for a while. Now 5 years later, after ups and downs of weight loss, I am down 25 pounds and have stayed there. I have 2 men interested in me. Your wife may need to see a doctor about her depression and get on medication for it. But when she is ready, she will go back to "normal" maybe not her normal weight but her normal self.
2007-06-03 16:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by newmom041402 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My advice for you and others here is, Jesus. He is the only answer. Get so full of the Holy Ghost and you won't worry about your physical needs. Then God will work everything out for you. He will change you and then by doing so, that will change your wife. Quit thinking about yourself and think about offering your life up to Jesus which is your reasonable sacrifice. Please read all of Ephesians on how to live the Spirit Filled life, but first, make sure that you are "Born Again" by turning from your sins and allow Jesus to be the Lord over your life.
2007-06-03 16:43:10 · answer #4 · answered by Apostle Jeff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your wife is suffering from depression. First, I am very sorry for the loss of your child. I think your wife may be coping poorly and may not be in a place where she can ask for help. If you truly love her then first you should talk to her. It would be adviseable for both of you to seek counseling in order to put your marriage back together. Lack of desire can also indicate depression, it is likely you are suffering too after such a tragic experience.
2007-06-03 15:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by future dr.t (IM) 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Dork:
Your wife is probably reacting to you treating her badly and you using her as a ***-catcher.
You need help. I suggest long term hospitalization, because if a person's physiology makes you physically sick you are beyond help from simple therapy.
People are the only adventure there is. All science is created for one thing, to help people learn. All religion is created for one thing, the help people learn. All business is created to serve people and provide for their needs. Everything revolves around people. People are everything.
Get off your narcissistic soap box and realize that people count, your wife most of all, and then check yourself into a mental hospital.
2007-06-03 16:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Did it occure to you that the lose of your second child has effected her tremendously and that she may require some help?
Instead of your needs right now, maybe you can concentrate on hers and help her to become what I am sure she does want to be, but has lost the "drive" to be. You do not need to be insulting about it, and really she disgusts you? is she not the same person inside that she was?
2007-06-03 16:04:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the reason she doesn't seem to care is that she thinks you're ugly as sin, too. Why don't you try having a child and then see how easy it is to lose weight afterward.
2007-06-03 16:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are a selfish jerk and need to start building up your wife not tearing her down. To quote National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, "If I had a rubber hose I'd beat you with it."
2007-06-03 16:09:01 · answer #9 · answered by HAND 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health". Seems like you forgot that just by the looks of your post.
2007-06-03 16:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by felpa_de_osa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋