My ex-husbands mom keeps sending my 6 year old home with......?

Question

large grocery bag of junk food. I told her stop sending this stuff home with my child we do not eat this type of stuff in my home-I understand thats her grandma but my child came home with a bag that contained (lg bag of funyuns, cheez-its, assorted bag of candy, sour cream and onion pringles, pack of oreo cookies) is all of this necessary. my child's grandmother continues to ignore me when i suggest she buy my daughter fruits (which my daughter absolutley loves) but she goes "well she kept putting stuff in the basket" and i tell her "she is a child and you are a adult, tell her no-this stuff isnt good for her" what is a more effective way to approach this?

Answer 1

Take the garbage and throw it away after your daughter goes to bed. Explain to your daughter (if she pitches a fit) that you don't allow it in your home because it is not healthy and that you love her. More than likely your daughter won't even be fazed. I know exactly how you feel. My ex-mother-in-law is a diabetic who loves candy (go figure) and does the same thing. I have to bite my tongue if my son goes over to that environment and when he gets back I simply confiscate and toss the garbage. He's ADHD and in my experience (I have raised him since birth so I know my kid) any extra sugar sends him through the roof. Unfortunately it's a battle that you'll never win. It's the mother-in-law's house not your's. But you are not being an evil mom by denying the crap ingestion in your own home. Eventually your daughter is going to start telling dear old granny that she'd rather eat good food because it makes her feel better. You're doing great by setting a good example. Bide your time. Your daughter will start speaking up for herself. Good luck.

Answer 2

That is a sticky situation. You are going to need to understand that she loves your child and she wants to make her happy. She wont die if she has a small amount of the snacks but you need to ask her grandma if she could help you with the child's diet. Give the snacks back to her and tell her to keep them for when the child comes back to her house for a visit. Don't let the grandma see you upset about the issue or just don't say any thing and just through the snacks away. If she is getting some weird satisfaction about seeing you upset over snacks you must stay in control. After all it isn't your money that is being spent on snacks that will be thrown away.

Answer 3

I try to keep my kids diet healthy and let the grandparents and other family do the "cheating" so that my kids don't lose their minds when they go visit a friend when they get older. It sounds like your mother-in-law is either trying to give your daughter something that she feels you are depriving her of, or your MIL is trying to get your goat. The best way to take this "power" away from her is to allow your daughter to keep her grandmother's gifts and put them away. Explain that these are sometimes foods and let your daughter have them slowly (once a week etc). The time after that that you talk to your mother-in-law state how your daughter likes to use the gifts/snack times that you let her eat the junk food as a time to think of her grandmother. Mention off-handedly that your daughter really likes apples etc and if your mother-in-law would send those home with her, your daughter could have them as a reminder everyday...(evil maybe, but effective). Good luck.

Answer 4

All the answers above are good, and if the talk doesn't work you could be a little more obvious by saving all the snacks each time she sends them,put them in a big bag and send them back to her with a note of the five food groups.
Good luck

Answer 5

I'd just take a different approach. Tell her that it's great for her to eat these things at her house [Grandma's] but you don't think they do much in your home. Let her know that you aren't going to feed her these things at home so maybe it would be a better idea to just keep it there. Also explain to her that you hate to tell your daughter that she cannot have these things so you would appreciate no bag at all--if she cannot resist you'll have to throw the bag away. Best of Luck!

Answer 6

She is a grandma and some battles just aren't worth the energy. Quietly take the bag of junk and get rid of it. Having junk food at Grandma's won't hurt your child in the long run if you are teaching her to make good food choices in general. Getting these special treats with Grandma might end up being one of her special memories of her Grandma when she's grown. I know when I stopped stressing and adopted "What happens at Grandma's Stays At Grandma's" philosophy, my relationship with my MIL and my life got much easier. When you look at the bigger picture, your child has a grandparent who loves her, wants to make her happy and loves spending time with her. Compared to that, a little junk food is nothing.

Answer 7

You know, most older women are not going to change. In this situation I would probably thank her for buying it and then turn around and throw it away....without her knowing it or your daughter knowing about it. Or if you are unable to throw away food (I feel like this...) then donate it to the food bank. Poor people would love to have treats too. There is nothing wrong with a little indulgence once in a while...but too much of a "good" thing is well...an obese kid, eh? I would also get your daughter involved in this. It will make her feel like she's doing good by helping the needy by giving them treats.

Answer 8

Return the bags of 'junk food' to the woman. Tell her "do NOT take my child grocery shopping with you anymore! Do NOT send any junk food home with her because everytime you do - my child will return the bag to you!"

Answer 9

i believe in being upfront and direct. this can be done in a polite/considerate manner. just explain to her your feelings and concerns and ask her to limit the goodie bags to one or two snacks b/c they will last her a good while and anything more will only go to waste (or what best fits for you). just remember you get more bees w/ honey and stay away from the vinegar.

good luck

Answer 10

Grandma is just trying to give her the things that you don't want her to have. Are you to strict regarding some of the junk food. If you totally take junk food from her than grandma is just trying to give her some things she could eat at home. A little bit a junk every few days won't hurt. Is your child thin, and under weight?maybe this is another reason why she sends junk food home with her. Talk to grandma, and ask her why she sends it with her, then you will have a knowing answer to why?