My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than a year. At the beginning of the relationship our sexual life was very fun because we were learning about each other, and like everything it was very exciting discovering each others body.
He is a sucessful attorney, 41 years old. I am a banker, 32 years old. Of course my job is not so demanding like his, his daily schedule goes from 10 to 12 hours a day sometimes.
Over the weekend when we see each other I tried to please him and of course please me making love to him, but sometimes he is too tired or not in the mood. Not only that but he loves to be on top and don't try anything new. I am getting bored of doing the same position all the time, I want to explore and do different things, but when I try to he is not up to do anything because he is too tired.
I love this guy and I want to explore and learn more things together but I dont know how to tell him that he is not pleasing me or fullfilling my expectatives, what should I do
2007-06-03 13:38:37 · 13 answers · asked by Worried 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Obviously, you know that you need to sit down and talk to him about this. Its never an easy thing to discuss. People can have great sex, even if they are incredibly busy. One thing that comes to my mind that might help...what is different now than it was a year ago (aside from the newness and fun)? Was he as 'tired' then as he seems to be now? Perhaps for a while,try not looking to please him; try not looking to please yourself in a sexual manner with him; don't look to have a sexual interaction. You might actually want to look at doing other things together. If he is too tired, perhaps look to do something for yourself or with other girlfriends. If he approaches you, in a sexual way, you could ask him if he is interested in attempting a different position or toy (before you both get your clothes off)...if he says no I'm too tired, well---are you interested? Be loving, but let him chase and approach you. If he lets you go for a long time...I'm sorry, but this might be what your relationship would be like years from now; if you were married. Do you need more sexual compatibility? Good luck! I hope things work out!
2007-06-03 13:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but there is a very good chance that the two of you are not sexually compatible. You seem to have a higher sex drive than he does, this is not uncommon. However you need to understand there is little if anything you can do about it. This is the way he is, this is his "normal" and will probably only get worse over time. Whatever you do to spice things up, will only change them for a little while. Therefore you need to decide if this is the way you want to life for the rest of your life, or to move on a find a different guy. The fact that he really doesn't want to try new positions means this isn't an issue of him coming home too tired. After all most men will gladly give up sleep for sex.
Not everyone we love is right for us.
2007-06-03 13:45:30 · answer #2 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to bring him out to explore to the world of sex, maybe to a R21 movie, or watching porn on the net. This will excited him. Do not always allow him on top, sometimes you must take the first move, riding on him or doing it at the bathroom, or in standing position. The best is outdoor, but be caution, find places that are safe. At last you must tell him what u need, how u enjoy having sex, of course you must talk to him at the right time. Do not discuss when he is tried.
2007-06-03 13:51:55 · answer #3 · answered by madity78 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to establish why he is always "tired". Is he dealing with an important case and its on his mind?. If you love him (and I am assuming that he loves you just the same), tell him that he is "not pleasing you nor fulfilling your expectations". In my opinion he appears bored and just wants to get over with the sexual thing. Why, I do not know. You both got to work it out. He is 41 years of age and should be at the crest of his sexual ability. Maybe sex is not the main or only focus of his relationship with you. There are lots of things that you and him can do together. I do believe that its possibly embedded in his mind that he is going to be a sex slave every weekend with you.
2007-06-03 13:52:46 · answer #4 · answered by Old Timer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I think you should let him relax first.
he's job is very stressful and now you are giving him stress at home. Let him relax and his man side will come out naturally. Meanwhile, get a dildo, vibrator...whatever you can please yourself with. it's your fault for go out with a guy who's 11 years older than you. you should've expect these things might happen... guys in 40's are way different than guys in 30's and 20's...
2007-06-03 13:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Romantic gettaway
2007-06-03 13:41:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
asuming ur very attractive ... u might wanna wear more revealing clothes and seaze the oppotunity when it knocks on the door.... Dont try to please him if he likereally tired and like half-dead... maybe u might wanan go for a vacation and thats a good time to please somebody ( who have a busy schedule)
2007-06-03 13:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, tell him
then, give him a visit at the office when he isnt so tired ; )
JUST KIDDING. just ask him to maybe take the afternoon off work, and give it a try.
2007-06-03 13:42:49 · answer #8 · answered by sparklenfin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't tell him, you must not have a very good relationship..
try a swingers club...
2007-06-03 13:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to wear stockings and make him a sexy massage
2007-06-03 13:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by zi_zuu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋