Why do (some) women think that it is “cool” to be rude for no reason to men who are asking them out?

Question

If she doesn’t want to go out with the guy because she thinks that he is ugly, no one can blame her for simply being honest, but why do women act as if they’ve been insulted if an average looking guy asks them out?

Consider the recent song by Pink (“You plus your hand”). The lyrics are about a girl at a club publicly insulting & demeaning a guy who is appears to have done nothing worse than try to offer her a free drink. Her way of turning the guy down seems to be overkill.

Since this is a popular song, it appears that a lot of people like the lyrics.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pink/uurhand.html

Why does this immature woman think that it is cool to insult some innocent stranger who is apparently just trying to be nice? My experience has shown that many girls behave exactly this way whenever a guy walks over to say “hello”. Why is it cool to be a jerk? Is she trying to make a point? If so, what is it?

And what makes her think that the guys will understand her point?

And to think that (some) women complain that no guy has the courage to ask them out. Does any intelligent person really wonder why after hearing this song? What the ‘ell are some immature women thinking?

Answer 1

Some women like to be dominant and have the control. Rise up, you know?
So it gives them power and makes them feel a little stronger to be the one to reject the guy.
It's hurtful, i don't really know why women do it...
On the other side, sometimes it's a defense mechanism-- to protect themselves from guys and keep their guard up.
Either way, the immature women need to learn the lesson at hand, not the guys.

Really, she has no point. Being defensive or hurtful towards a guy just shows her own insecurities and fears. In this case, it really is her own problem. Not anyone else's.

Answer 2

OK here is the truth... you probably are an attractive girl and guys are dogs when it comes to attractive girls. They are thinking with their thingamajig and not their brain! Especially in high school where hormones rule and most guys don't know what love is cause they are too self centered. So don't be fooled. They probably are helping you cause they want to get under your shirt and whatever else they can get. Its sad but true. You probably have some physical assets that they want and are helping you for all the wrong reasons or find you too appealing. Its easy to get swept away with physical attraction and forget about what love is. Trust me been there done that. I am waiting for the right girl to show up in my life cause damn it I deserve better than a greedy physical relationship which is totally selfish and frankly degrading of both parties involved. Go for the love and don't be fooled by a guys inability to know the difference between real love and sexual desires. Being alone is better than being caught up in the fog of a physical relationship.

Answer 3

I agree, a lot of overly confident women think it's insulting when someone not on "their level" asks them out. But, I think in Pink's song, she's talking about guys that are too forward, for example, "that's when d*ckhead put his hands on me..." Obviously, she's talking about males that have no respect for females. I personally like the song because I can't tell you how many times I've gone to a club with my girlfriends to have a few drinks and dance and some guy has grabbed me or said something completely vulgar and uncalled for. Don't take it personal, she's not talking about guys who are respectful and intelligent.

Answer 4

Some women get angry because they are tired of men snarling at them. Its not flattering to hear "Hey Hot stuff". So everytime a man says hi to them they think its the same kind of jerk and they get deffensive. Some men come up to women in a very vulgar manner and it can feel degrading. Its a matter of how a man speaks to a woman. The woman may be angry that day and not want to be bothered. Its not immaturity just frustration

Answer 5

I can't speak for that woman. I try not to insult, but sometimes guys just don't take "no" very well. I don't turn anyone down because of looks, just don't want to date. Some think they can change your mind and persist until you do get mad.
Some women can be mean, just as men can be. That doesn't make it right, just the way it is.
Guys and women rarely understand each others point.

Answer 6

I do agree with you and although there is nothing wrong with honesty, I would draw the line at telling someone I didn't want to go out with him because he's ugly - I think that much honesty is unnecessary and just because I don't find him attractive, it doesn't mean someone else won't think he's gorgeous. I'd rather use a "white lie" than destroy someone's self-confidence just because they don't happen to be right for me. I would only ever be rude to someone who won't accept a polite "no". I just think that women who enjoy being cruel and vicious to men ( and vice-versa) , just for the sake of it, must have serious self-esteem issues. I can never understand why anyone wants to make someone else feel bad for their own entertainment, they must be pretty sad when you think about it.

Answer 7

Women suffer from ESEL, EXTREME SELF ESTEEM LOSS. This is the best way for them to build it. They prey on the lesser desirable people of the opposite gender to make themselves that legend in their own mind. It is still there, the legend makes them think that they have become all that and a bag of chips, but like the legend it is in their own mind also. If they think they are, they believe they are empowered to be what they think. That is psychotic but it is true. They continue to build themselves inside until their impression of themselves is walking above everyone else, therefor they try to step on everyone beneath their feet. Once again, it is in their own mind but look at the attitude and the belief that comes of it and just regular people become victims of displays of disrespect, rudeness and calloused emotion we are taught not to have or use as children. These people unfortunately, teach these tactics to their children and it starts at an early age. We would have been money ahead to fixed the problem instead of treating the symptoms but until people deal and realine the accepted norms that have been promoted in our society it will only get worse and ugly guys like me will just have to not interact with those really attractive people. That is the poorest of segregation reasoning I can think of.

Answer 8

Randy,
Women like that weren't taught MANNERS somewhere in their lives. It appears the "Snobs" who are high class or LOVE themselves are the ones who are mean that way, ya know kinda like their "SH** don't stink!"
Whatever happened to being "Ladylike" in the old days? I think it's because this generation developed an ATTITUDE for rudeness because it lifts their ego even more when they can act tough, even when most of the time it's an "act" around people, like for "show!"

People aren't REALLY impressed though, I believe! They see how snobs come off!

I'm glad I was brought up in the 50's when kids were taught to respect ALL and their elders!

Answer 9

I don't know about other women. But if a guy I don't like. Tries to play sleek with me. I react just as badly. For some reason one gets offended. I do. When a man takes on the attitude like this is so easy. And he seems fake. Like looking for an easy lay. I turn in to a real Jackal and Hyde.

Answer 10

its the stereo-type that all guys are looking for is sex. it happens so often that it seems like a girl cant go out without some creep trying to take her home. but because of that, a lot of women think that all guys are the same. its hard to be trusting and give ppl a chance when it seems like ur the one whos always getting screwed so u just turn everybody away before they have a chance to hurt you. dating is kinda dangerous and scary because u never really know anybody. we dont know if a guy is well-meaning when he offers us a drink or not....i personally dont go to bars or get offered drinks, but i would think that some women just wanna go out and have a good time without being hit on. of course, i do have to say that i feel kinda badly for the well-meaning guy who does try to pick up a chik who wants to be left alone because how is he supposed to know that she isnt there try and find a guy? women can be confusing when they get all dressed up sexy and stuff and go out then get pissy when they get the attention that they seemingly dressed up to get.... i say seemingly because not all women dress up for the attention. some of us just like to look nice because it makes us feel better...this is a topic that could be discussed forever. oh and ppl like that song because its about a woman who is strong and stands up for herself. pink is a real woman, not just some teeny-bopper, boob showin' whore....she respects herself, demands respect from others and she encourages girls to do the same which is something women and girls now adays really need...