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Ive been with my boyfriend since I was 16 ( 7 years ) we started to party a lot and my parents kicked us out so we have been living together since we were 17 . During this time my mom passed away and my family has never really forgiven me for leaving and dropping out of school . Now that Im 22 I feel like Im not going anywhere in my life , if I could leave my boyfriend and go back to my Dads I would but he doesnt have room or money for me to put that burden on him . I feel lost and I want to leave but I have no where to go and I love my boyfriend A LOT and I dont want to leave him but I feel like the best way I can figure out who I am is by being on my own . I dont have my own car or a place to go so Im kinda stranded .

2007-06-03 09:48:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

9 answers

I would discuss the problem with both my Dad and boyfriend (if they are the type of people who would listen if you are really baring your soul). Definitly take the opportunity to have time on your own, or you will end up spending the rest of your life like this. Get a job, save up to find a place to live if your Dad won't let you move back. It may take time, but committ to it. Maybe share with some flatmates - cheaper option.
If you really can't move out, find times where you can have your own space away from your boyfriend. Hope this helps.

2007-06-03 09:53:55 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 2 · 1 0

A long time ago I added a corollary to the trite ‘Some see the glass ..’ . “Some see the glass as half empty. Some see the glass as half full. I see you’ve got the wrong glass!” Initially, this was just a funny wise-*** remark, but I’ve always remembered it. But now, some 30 years later, the saying has developed a real meaning. Some people go through their life bemoaning what that have lost, wishing for the ‘good old days’ and knowing the best is behind them. Some people go through their life angry about what they haven’t achieved and received, envious of anyone who has a life they always wanted and usually expect they will never ‘make it’. I’ve come to the point that I actually like my ‘glass’. It’s not overflowing, but I’m not thirsty either. I know I’ll spill some along the way, and I can use a smaller glass. I know the universe will provide more than it can hold and I can use a bigger glass. My satisfaction with my life isn’t determined by what I used to have, what I want to have or by what I have today. I’ve had setbacks and downsized my lifestyle. I’ve had good fortunes and lived better. I've loved and left and I've loved and lost. I don’t envy those who have more nor pity those who have less. That doesn’t at all mean that I don’t have compassion for those in need. I do, and I give to the extent I can. Nor does it mean I lack goals to make improvements in my life and others. It does mean that I can allow myself to be happy regardless of my lot in life. It means I cherish memories of the past and learn from them. It means I eagerly look forward to new achievements and work toward those goals. What size is your glass?

2016-05-20 03:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by talisha 3 · 0 0

Boy, you are between a rock and a hard place. My initial thought is since you have been with him since you were basically a child, you don't even know who the "adult you" is. You probably have never had to take care of yourself, your identity has always been as "his girlfriend".

I always say, "To grow, sometimes we have to give up relationships, if only for awhile."

So, now it is time to prioritize. Should you make amends with your family, get out on your own (or stay) , break it off with your boyfriend (or fix the relationship). Which on comes first?

You could stay right where you are (location wise) but take steps to better yourself. Take some college courses or get a job. This will start the ball rolling with your independence. The more you start to love you the better you will feel about your circumstances.

You say you love him a lot. My question would be, do you love him because it is comfortable, or because you feel like you owe him something for taking care of you all of these years, or do you feel that the relationship is strong enough to one day develop into marriage. Stop and ask yourself why, after 7 years, hasn't he asked you to marry him? HUMMMMMM.

Bottom line, where there is a will, there is a way. Only you can take the steps to make you happy. Good Luck!!!

2007-06-03 10:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by Cristi Brewer-Allen 3 · 0 0

We all make mistakes in life, but that is how we learn, it appears you want to change but need some direction as to how to get there. First I would talk with your dad, Dads yes are tough but we love our children unconditionally, and most of us will do anything to help them. Next I would go back to school and get my GED, yes you must tell dad that this is your plan, from there check into grants and or Stafford loans to get a degree. Yes it can be done my daughter works full time, has a two year old and is a Jr in college, on the Deans list. Your father is probably just hurt by the decisions you have made, but you need to look at your future, talk with him, and if he bitches, as he might take it with a grain of salt and remember he only does that because he loves his child. Let him help you, by that I mean do not get offensive, listen to what he has to say and thank him. Then follow through, will it be easy No, but will it be worth it in the long run Yes.

2007-06-03 10:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by Pengy 7 · 0 0

You're not stranded, if you feel this strongly about leaving your boyfriend, you should talk with your dad and acknowledge all your mistakes and let him know what your plan is to get on your feet. You could help your dad while your there. You have to do what you got to do to be happy, and sometimes that means going back home, your dad will understand. Its not always going to be easy.

2007-06-03 09:53:47 · answer #5 · answered by BossLady 4 · 0 0

ur 22 get yourself a good job...tell ur boyfriend things arent working and as soon as u have money u would like to move out until then cud we stay friends....

as soon as u can then leave...n start urself a new life...as to be honest ur life is about u n wat U make of it....

You feel lost as u havent found ur place in the world yet...dont worry though, we go through life struggling at times....but then something comes along to pick up the pieces and make it all better....

Do u not have any friends to move in with n share the rent or something...

xxxx

2007-06-03 09:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by julie60988 3 · 0 0

you're gonna have to sit down and talk to your bf about this.....he may be going through the same things.

2007-06-03 09:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

i really think that you should go too your dad and tell him what youve written on here.

afterall you are his babygirl...

xxx

2007-06-03 09:52:31 · answer #8 · answered by libby a 2 · 0 0

move on

2007-06-03 09:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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