True things said in court!?

Question

Sorry if it is a repost, but I definitely laughed, and hope you do too! Enjoy, ~N

Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

LAWYER: What did the tissue samples taken from the victim's vagina show?
WITNESS: There were traces of semen.
LAWYER: Male semen?
WITNESS: That's the only kind I know of.

LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in New York?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?
WITNESS: No.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

I have 2 more that aren't posting :( but you can click on my name and go to my questions to read additional funny ones!

Thanks babe-how was Tiesto???

Answer 1

Will add another one:Refuse to answer on the grounds it will incinerate me. Thanks for smiling summation.

Answer 2

3 thumbs up on those.

Answer 3

I loved the 1st one. I will come back for more later.

Answer 4

Pretty funny! lol! Good ones.

Answer 5

lol funny

Answer 6

good ones.

Answer 7

lol Good ones! =))