i had posted a questions last week about being pregnant and come to find out i was well i miscarried friday?

Question

6-1-07. i was wondering of ways to make it easier with the grief. thank you

Answer 1

Read this online book:

http://www.hti.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=moa;idno=AFZ0722.0001.001

You will see your baby is doing fine.

Answer 2

First off see a Dr. when you miscarry there is a change that not all tissue is expelled and you can get a horrendous infection a D and C (dilation and curettage) procedure may be needed..

While you are there get blood work done as you may be anemic or have any number of hormonal imbalances that can add to the feelings of depression and grief.. A short time on meds can alleviate these issues making it easier to cope..

Once all the physical housekeeping so to speak is taken care of you can move onto the emotional and mental housekeeping..

Talk with family and friends about the grief...

Have a small funeral service as a way of saying goodbye..

Make sure someone close to you who you trust is on special lookout to watch so you don't dip too far into grief and depression...

If you or the person on special alert notices a long or sever dip seek professional counseling..

It's normal and expected that you will feel grief it will take time to move on and leave the grief behind but each day it gets a little easier.. Look at it as one day at a time with each day getting a little bit better than the last...

Answer 3

I don't know if it helps, but a lot of miscarriages happen because of problems with the embryo, especially when it's as early as it sounds yours was. That means that, if your child had been born, there might have been problems with it all its life, or it might not have lived long. If there were problems with the way that the placenta was attached, which is another cause of miscarriage, then you might have miscarried later on, when you were more attached, feeling movement, etc. Grief is a natural process, but don't let it overwhelm you. Instead, be grateful that you'll have other chances to have children that are healthy and able the survive the rigors of life without medical help.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry for your loss!!! I know right now, it's hard to deal with. You will have a lot of issues come up in the next little while.

I have had 2 miscarriages, and a still birth, so I can relate with you a little. I won't tell you that I know how you feel, or that I felt the same, because I'm not you. I can say that things will slowly get better. It will take some time, so don't feel like you need to be 100% OK within so much time. It won't happen. You need to let yourself feel what you need to. Don't hold it in. Cry when you need to, scream if you need to, whatever you need to stay sane right now.

I can suggest a few things that might help. Prayer really helps. I know, it's hard to pray right now. If you are like me, we feel like God is mad at you, or you are mad at Him. Don't worry, that's a normal feeling. But opening up and talking to Him about why you are mad, or finding out in your heart what He wants will help you in more ways then you can imagine.

There are support groups that will help also. You can do a search and find them, or ask your doctor if they have a list to help you. Also, counseling might be good. Maybe talk to a religious leader about getting a referal, or finding out when they want you to go to. It can help more then anything.

Don't listen to anyone when they say that it was "meant to be" or that "it was nature taking it course". This won't help you right now. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, that isn't what we need to hear. Just know that you did not do anything to cause this to happen. Don't feel guilty about an activity you did, or didn't do, something you said, didn't say. It just happened and nothing you did caused it.

I do believe that in the next life, you will get a chance to raise your child. It is a special little spirit, and you are meant to be it's mommy. Just know that God won't leave you alone. Lean on Him, and let Him help you.

If you feel you need to talk, let me know. You can send me an email, and I'll listen or help any way I can!! Good luck, and again I'm soooo sorry!!!!!

Answer 5

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your baby. I now it sounds cliched, but time is a great healer. At the moment your grief must be pretty raw and you are probably plagued with 'what ifs'. You need to know that there was nothing that you did wrong and would not have been able to prevent the miscarriage. You will find inner strength to cope and one day you will have a little baby to hold in your arms. Allow yourself to grieve for the one you have lost and it will get better with time.

Answer 6

Sorry to hear of your loss. When I have the opportunity to be grief stricken I find it somewhat calming to try to put myself in the shoes of a caveman. There's work to be done and it's not getting done while I sit here and obsess about how mistreated I've been or how unlucky I am. To get back to the work at hand helps me work through the problem. Of course it is unnecessary in modern society to be 100% consumed with 'tedium' (work, chores whatever occupies your mind) but it's a good chance to clean out that garage (and you can get pregnant again...ultimately, that will pull you out of it is that realization that things change and the next time can be better).

Answer 7

Oh my dear I am sorry for your lose. I can only imagine what you must be going through... The Lord is with you and will comfort you. The advice to be close with your family and husband is true.. as much as you may want to hide away don't... being with people you love will help you. Remember David lost a child and he was so grieved... but he knew that one day he would see that child in heaven... 2 Samuel 12:23 But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.

So he wept with his wife and comforted her and soon after she became pregnant again with solomon...

May God bless you and keep you and heal your broken heart may he heal your womb so that you will have the children you desire.. may he make you wise as the proverbs 31 woman so you can be a good mother and wife...

Answer 8

You should be sure to get out and spend time with your family and friends, but also give yourself time to grieve. Realize that in life, sometimes bad things happen, but we all learn from what life throws at us. Next time you get pregnant (and I'm sure there will be a next time for you), make sure that you follow your doctor's instructions and don't push yourself very hard. And also realize that the miscarriage was probably not your fault at all, because they happen to many, many women and it was just something that your body decided on. You'll get better, it'll just take a little bit of time.

Answer 9

Look for local support groups for women who've suffered miscarriages. It's like any other form of grief -- you have to work through it.

Answer 10

Don't blame yourself, don't blame others. A miscarriage is something that happens. It is not punishment. Grieve, grieve your child. God wants you to grieve.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. -Matthew 5:4.
Trust in God, his goodness, and know that things will get better.
I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 11

I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing except time and prayer will help with the grief. Well chocolate will help too....but not too much or then your jeans won't fit.

I've said a prayer for you.