Atheists only: what would you do?

Question

My three grown children in California know that I am a nonbeliever, and we never talk about it. (I live on the other side of the continent). Insofar as I know, my five grandchildren know nothing of my opinions about gods and all that. The youngest of them emails me about every other day, to tell me what's happening in his busy life, including the Sunday school he attends. It is not my role as his grandfather to speak to him about religion, and I shall not, but he has started asking me about Jesus and events told to him by his Sunday school teacher. What would you say to him...he's 10?

Answer 1

A tough situation; but ten-year-olds are old enough to learn that there are different ways of viewing the universe. In a British school he would certainly have learned about other religions and belief systems by now.

Hiding what you believe/don't believe, or even worse, lying, will only lead to more problems. You do not have to get into deep discussions with him.

It might be that he will not appreciate or even understand everything you tell him, but there may be a time, when he is older, that he will need to know that he can talk to you about things his parents don't want to know about.
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Answer 2

Be true to your beliefs but you still need to take into account that he is 10. For instance, you don't want to say things like Jesus may have existed, but he wasn't a god. You can instead infer what life was like at the time Jesus existed. For example, the bible was written 200-300 years after he existed. So you can talk about how the stories were told and retold. That certain innacuracies must be expected. Talk to him about the phone game if he doesn't already know about it. Retelling stories has a dramatic effect on it's accuracy. So something like Jesus walking on water most likely was Jesus walking along the shore.

Answer 3

The best people to ask this question to are the parents of your grandchild. In 8 years, talk to your grandson directly. Now when he is still a minor living with his parents it would be best to have a talk with his parents so that you are all clear what will and will not cause a family argument.
I, like gazoo, am under the firm opinion that the intelligence of children should be respected. Children should not be lied to.

Answer 4

Talk to your son or daughter (which ever is his parent) explain that he is asking you questions in e-mails and you want to them to know.. Ask them if they would like you to answer the questions with your beliefs or direct his questions back to them by saying "You need to talk to your parents about _____."

In the interest of family harmony getting your son or daughters opinion as to how to proceed is very advisable as they are the childs parent...

In the meantime keep the correspondance with your grandson on a non religious/beleif system level..

Your child will appreciate your bringing this up and not proceeding without consulting them as to what you should do..

The time has definately come to talk about it and come to an understanding as to what the rules are...

Answer 5

I guess you tell him whatever you can get away with without triggering his parents' ire or fear.

Maybe just suggest that there are other points of view. Tell them a few of them when he asks what they are, and so on.

I think you can be a little unscrupulous, given how rotten the Sunday school teachers are - wittingly or otherwise. They're trying to eat his head, after all.

Answer 6

I suppose you could tell him you do not have any ideas on the subject at the very moment and that it would best for him to ask when he gets older. For now he should ask his parents or Sunday school teachers they would have a better way of explaining things.

Answer 7

It's harder to do via e-mail than in person, but you can still encourage him to express his own views. Ask him what he thinks. Follow that up with responses like 'That's really interesting' which don't commit you to a lie but still affirm him.

Ten year olds are ace. They are full of questions and curiosity and really starting to look at the world around them.

They are also bloody good at figuring out who's going to give them the straight answer.

Answer 8

At 10 he is old enough to realize that people are different. Simply explain that different people have different opinions about religion. I am sure that Muslims,Jews or even different branches of Christianity believe differently than he is being taught. Let him know that you believe differently than him. If you feel it is right you can expand on what you believe but let him know that he is free to form his own opinions

Answer 9

Answer all of his question as honestly as you can. If he's old enough to ask, he's old enough to be answered.

If his parents don't like your answers, that's their problem--this child should NOT be isolated from different viewpoints, nor be made to think that his parents' way is the only way, as most indoctrinated children are. You have a unique opportunity, and I think you should make use of it.

Answer 10

Tell him that there are a great many people who believe in Jesus and the sort of things that are taught in Sunday school, but you're not among those who do.