i was going to go vist them [they divorced] on fathers day, however after making all the preperations etc,i find out my Mom wants to take us all out of town on Fathers day, i planned on spending it with my Dad, how do i deal with this??
2007-06-03 05:58:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think this is simple. Telling your mom that you don't want to go will cause her a lot of stress. Not going will cause your dad to resent you. Instead, try this first; sit down with your mom and ask her why she would want to take you away from your dad on a day that it is important to you to be with him? She will have some reason such as, "I planned this" or "you are self centered" or something like that. The truth is that your mom is very hurt by the divorce and so is your dad. Nobody wins in a divorce. She is trying to show her resentment to him by taking control of the things she can; one of which is you. She is not trying to hurt you even though that is the end result. She is also probably not doing this consciously. Don't make it an issue between them. You need to get out from between them and not be used as a control mechanism. But to do that, you need to have a lot of communication with your mom about how you feel. Dad's are different. They get this a lot better I think. That does not mean that he won't try to do the same thing; it only means that he will not be upset with you for telling him how you feel. When you talk to your mom; tell her that you understand why they are getting divorced, but that you want to know how you can maintain a relationship with her and your dad without hurting her and without loosing hiim. Tell her you are feeling like you are in the middle and ask her if that is what she wants? Pose these as questions; do not accuse. Don't make statements. Ask questions... she will get it.
2007-06-03 06:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ranger D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should politely explain to her that you are going to spend Fathers' Day with your Dad. Make sure she understands that you have no intentions of hurting her feelings or anything but not for nothing it's FATHERS Day, she had her day on MOTHERS Day... be sure and let her down easy even if she doesn't take it the right way, right a way she'll see where your coming from soon.
2007-06-03 13:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So tell your mom you plan on spending Fathers' day with your dad----------as it is fathers day. Did you spend mothers'd day with your mom? She will get over it.
2007-06-03 13:11:40 · answer #3 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You spend it with your Father, it is his day. Your mom understands this and should not be offended. If she does get offended tell her you wouldn't miss Mother's Day with her. If the trip is important, tell her to leave a ticket for you and you will meet her there.
2007-06-03 13:09:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
easier said than done, but I would talk to your mom and tell her that you really want to spend father's day with your dad and the preparations are already made. she'll understand, I mean it is 'father's day.'
good luck
2007-06-03 13:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She should have known that, there was no way she should have planned something for herself on Father's Day. I would politely ask her if things could be done on Saturday (A belated Mother's Day) so that you may also have Father's Day too. One day for each parent. If she refuses to change her plans, politely decline........................
2007-06-03 13:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by mrsmommaid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom you're not going with her on father's day. Simple.
2007-06-03 13:01:13 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell her that you've already made plans for that day and are unable to cancel them at this point.
Then go see your Dad. :)
2007-06-03 13:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋