My friend and coworker is an addict?

Question

Booze,pills.She is also kind of my boss.She cant handle her job anymore.Thing is she wants the rest of us to quit with her.As for me I really dont think I can go on much longer working under the pressure of her issues.She gets drunk and calls me crying and says she cant handle it anymore.So I am just about ready to quit but I dont think the others wants to quit there job just because she is ready to bail out.Well she is mad about it.I think she wants us all to quit with her so she will not look so bad.Truth is she really does need to quit because of her addictions.They are so out of control and the job envolves a level head to be able to deal with it.But like I said she is the head of this job and the others including me just work there.She runs the show and none of the rest of us want to be in charge and if she does quit one of us would be expected to take her place.So what to do?I dont know how to tell her she needs to get some help.I am sure she knows this already but just keeps on

Answer 1

I think she needs to realise that she has a problem. It would be difficult to confront her and personally I'm not a fan of "interventions", but apparently they work for some people.

Most likely, her addiction stems from something that has badly affected her. Addiction is not about a lack of willpower or intelligence. For many, the habit started as a way of coping with feelings they couldn’t deal with. Addiction is when the person becomes dependant upon the drug to lift these feelings and they think they can't do so on their own. The person loses control over their behaviour and suffer cravings or withdrawal symptoms if they go without. The article I've posted may give more insight for you.

As for your job, if your boss does need time off, I think you guys should either have one person step up to the plate, because a lot of the time leaders don't realise they have the ability to lead because of a lack of confidence. Just getting into the seat and taking responsibility will soon make you forget the stage fright. Alternatively, you could work as a team and make democratic decisions, and perhaps take turns taking a manager's responsibilities.

Answer 2

First: remember that if this woman is your boss she cannot be your friend at the same time. There is a difference even though it is nice to have a good relationship with the people you work under, but you still have to maintain a level of professionalism.

you have two options, and I'm sure they've been mentioned already, but it's always good to hear them again:

1) talk to your boss's boss. They need to be aware of the situation because part of your boss's boss' job is to make sure your boss is someone is in your boss' position that can handle the responsibility and clearly that's not happening. If you take this approach and it doesn't help, keep going up the ladder until you get someone who CAN help you out.

2) Talk to your HR department, see if there's a way that you can be put under someone else and/or have someone take care of the issue. A change in jobs might also be nice after all of the stress your boss is putting you through.

Also, if you want to suggest to her to get help, perhaps you could get some pamphlets on support groups and anonymously leave them on her desk when she's not looking. That way she can't target you with any anger and you can be sure she knows that there's help.

Answer 3

There must be a human services worker at your job or something, assuming you work in a company.

If it is really an addiction, you have to get her into a 10 step program or if your not that close YOU HAVE TO notify someone thats close to her, like her best friend or boyfriend. She doesn't need to quit her job, but take a break.

There could be issues beyond the workplace that have been causing her to drink.

Answer 4

I had a girlfriend just like that.She always had very lucrative jobs but drank,took massive amounts of pills and would have breakdowns constantly,I would go to her work to try to calm her down but it was impossible,I was always amazed at how she kept her jobs,she would be extremely loud and obnoxious,outside smoking all the time and crying etc. yes in this case you need to go to a higher up This woman needs big time help,she wont walk out until she is forced somehow as for my friend,she died in november of a drug overdose?homicide? no one really knows,I do know she was struggling terribly the last few years and had been revived a few times had sezuires etc. there was just nothing anybody could do for her,we all tried in our own ways as for you no its not good for you to be around that everyday its so negative,and im sure you hear the same things over and over and over,if nothing can be done for her try to put yourself in a better place

Answer 5

Talk with her with another worker present and tell her she needs to go get help or you are going to have to report her to the boss.

She is in denial and needs someone to be straight and honest with her and try to make her face her problems. Let her know her actions are intolerable and she has made everyone at work miserable.

Be sure and have information/pamphlets and/or computer printouts on places she can go for this help and even offer to go with her to get her started if she needs support.

If she refuses to cooperate, you need to talk with someone higher up. Don't wait, do it immediately when you part or she will go lie on you and lie to get you in trouble.

It is wrong for her to ask everyone to walk out with her just because she has a problem and I hope none of you will do that because it won't solve her problems in any way. It will only cause financial problems for others, plus everyone could get a bad reference from the employer when they apply for other jobs.

Good luck ~ hope y'all can get a solution that will make everyone happy and help her in the long run

Answer 6

If you are her well wisher- first of all advise her to take rest for some days or advise her to go out for a tour in a natural places which may reduce her tension. Secondly--tell her the bad effects of adiction,she can take the advices of a doctor who may help her in this regard.

Answer 7

i had a boss who did the same thing to myself and other staff members. we realized he need help and went over his head and reported him to his superiors. we told his superiors, that he would try to do the best he could in his job, and for his staff , but because of his drinking, we were unable to work with him. we felt it was in his b est interest that he get help. he did get help, and at first was upset, but as he got better, he realized we had no choice, and today , he has his job back and is having a better life. a lot of work places cannot fire a person for a drinking problem if they get help , and join a addiction program.

Answer 8

Talk to the head of your human resources department. That person's job is to make sure that she gets the help she needs.

Answer 9

i think you should stop worrying about your friend so much and put yourself first. do you want to quit your job?its important to do what best for you and take care of your friend second.she is a grown woman and if she doesn't want help then trying to help her addiction is useless, you can only help people who wanna be helped.so i say you be a leader and decide what you wanna do let everybody else decide what they want for themselves.if your friend want help give her help if she doesn't leave her alone let her make her own decisions and her own mistakes.you keep living your life and don't let nobody decide what you should to its your life live it.

Answer 10

Isn't there a "higher up" than her? If so, you need to talk to them about it.
Why would you want this in your life? It's not fair of her to waste her life and want to take everyone else down with her!