How do you tell your parents that...?

Question

you dont believe in the religion that they raised you in???

Answer 1

You could try something fairly non-threatening and gentle like "I think I need some time to sort out life's big questions. So I am taking some time away from our church until I know what I really believe."

It would be reassuring to them that you let them know what progress you have made from time to time in exploring the Religious question.

Answer 2

You tell them straight up... the truth. If they reject or disown you because of it, then you are better off without them anyway. You know whats funny? My family is all quite non-religious, if I suddenly turned say Christian and told them all tomorrow, they would just make jokes about it but still accept me... Its funny I have no fear whatsoever that my family would ever have a problem with me telling them something like that. In fact I know that they would just love the ribbing material they could glean from it. Anyway what I am getting at is that you should always tell the truth about who you are, especially to your family, and they should especially be the ones to accept you and love you no matter what.. even if they dont agree.

PS I really dont understand how this could be so upsetting to some people... some of my family is religious, but it has nothing to do with us being a family. It certainly would not cause any screaming or yelling.. dissapointment perhaps but nothing untoward. I cant understand any other kind of family...

Answer 3

It's best to start with Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Let them know that the ruse is over, and you've now grown all the way up and discovered that God has taken his rightful place among all the other stories that no one can verify.

Be sure to thank them for their love and education, because without the religious training you would have missed a large part of the culture, just as you would have been deprived without the other mythical characters.

If you do this with fondness instead of anger, they will accept it, and maybe hope that someday you will change your mind instead of getting angry with you.

Good luck!

To Gordie, who doesn't allow email, I will describe the taste of salt, since 1) salt exists and can be verified and 2) I am a gourmet and qualified to do so,

Table salt comes in small granules similar in size to sand, it even looks a little like white sand, although somewhat translucent. The taste is sharp and pungent; salt adds piquancy to foods and other spices, and enhances sweet flavors as well.

Most people can tolerate only about 1/16 teaspoon of salt on the tongue; the edges of the tongue experience salt more readily than the center.

To experience a salty taste, bite your own tongue hard enough to draw blood; it will taste salty at first.

Answer 4

Start by NOT doing what Tina suggested since silence is deadly. You have to sit down and think about what you believe in? I think that many people get religion mixed up or try to make it seem more difficult than it is.

Lets say that your parents are Shinto. A Shinto stands for _____ and believes in _____. On the opposite hand, Shintos do not _____ and do not condone of _____. Respect is a nice part of a Shinto's beliefs. Lets say that you believe to be above all and think "to hell with respect. Why should I respect...?" You would be foolish to classify yourself as a Shinto, because you are not living their way of life.

Nothing would be sweeter to your parents ears than for you to be honest with them. However, you should have a strong mind and heart to back it up. I would then suggest searching for people who share the same beliefs that you agree with.

P.S. Nora, you told me what table salt is and what it has to offer, but you have yet to tell me what salt tastes like. Going with your vague description of "sharp" and "pungent" brought radishes to my mind. Would biting my tongue not cause me to taste blood?

I do appreciate your effort at trying to defend your character though. When and if you ever go to a beach, think of when people say "the water tastes salty." They do not say that the water tastes "sharp" and "pungent." Obviously, you have tasted salt. However, you can do no more to me than convey in words what YOU BELIEVE salt tastes like. The fact is that the TRUE way of knowing what salt tastes like is to taste it.

Thank you for bringing the e-mail/IM thing to my attention, I missed that and it has been fixed. :-*

Answer 5

Well, tell them you've become a seeker. That should confuse them for awhile. Then become a seeker. I did. Surprise, came back where I started from but with a different point of view. I'm not a kid. Am 61. Check my profile if you want. Religion does not exist, but faith does.

Answer 6

It won't be easy at any means.

But simply say, "Mom, Dad I love you but we really need to talk. My faith is not the same as yours."

After a few mins. of screaming and yelling, they will settel down enough to hear why you believe this. Talk to them in a calm voice; but stand your ground at the same time.

You can not be forced into anything you don't want to do. Call CPS, (child protective services) if they threaten you.

But just remember, this will upset them alot. No matter how softly you ease the blow.

Answer 7

It's all part of being a teenager and joining in the world while cutting the parental bonds. If the spirit is not in you, you can not force it in. Unless your understanding of the spirit is incorrect, for I would postulate that some kind of spirit resides in each and every one of us. You want to do something else, and you know that they won't be happy about it. There are many forces at work in the world and there are many stages of man.

Answer 8

well i hav a really simple but complex answer for ur question.. well u can do a detailed research into ur religion n also look out into other religions n den decide for urself which is better.. but i guess u r a bit young to point out ur view.. so take some time.. but make things clearly visible to evry one ki u r questionin ur beief.. wat dis wil do is make ur parents mentally prepare dat u may leave ur religion if u don get all ur answers.. n don announce it out.. dis will create a havoc n u'll be in grave tension...

Answer 9

You simply tell them that there are things that don't sit right with you, and you would like to study and research other religions/belief systems and make up your mind for yourself.

Answer 10

Talk to them without anger or judgement, when you and they are not highly emotional. Tell them without making it a rejection of them. Since your name indicates you are young, I would tell them you are searching for your own answers. If you talk to them respectfully hopefully they are the kind of parents who will respect your right to find your own path.