How do I handle work group luncheons when everyone talks about their kids?

Question

I have a few group luncheons coming up at work. Everyone talks about their children.

I am divorced and my child lives about 3000 miles away with her dad/ grandmother. I gave up custody during the divorce.

What should I say if anyone asks me if I have children or how can I add to the conversation when they talk about their family life/ children?

Answer 1

You can't really hide the fact you have a child. In a divorce situation. If it was ever found out you do have a child, and everyone then knew you lied about that, it would seem awful - like you had disregard for your child. Technically, there is no reason to explain your choices in life about such a personal matter either. Just say your child lives with his/her dad bc that's the way it worked out best. No further "explanation" is needed and you should avoid getting "into it" with others who don't understand the specifics. Don't act defensive about it, just smile and come across as comfortable with your decisions.

Answer 2

As for whether to mention your child, that is up to you whether you feel comfortable enough with them to tell them your situation.

Regarding adding to the conversation, keep in mind that each parent's favorite subject matter is their children. If you can show genuine interest in their children and ask them questions about them, not only will you make friends with everyone there, but you will also be able to avoid talking about your child if you don't want to.

Good luck!

Answer 3

What I want to know is how could your conscious let you give up a child you carried for almost a year. I would have killed my sons father if he even attempted it.