I dont believe that guys would like me...?

Question

I have a low self esteem problem. I never think Im pretty enough, even though a lot of guys tell me Im pretty. I always assume they are just trying to be polite. Also, I get ackward around guys I really like and wind up seeming either "out of it" or quiet/ackward. Im afraid that I appear boring because I get so nervous I dont know what to say. I never believe I am good enough. I always wonder why someone would want to be with me and assume its only a matter of time before they realize that too. I have a hard time opening up to guys because I assume that they wont like what they see. Then I wind up getting really attached really fast to a guy if he shows interest because I crave the closeness of a relationship. Is there anything I can do to help raise my confidence?

this is me by the way...
www.myspace.com/8jem8

Answer 1

I'm a guy and I get the same way and have done all my life.

Having checked your profile at myspace, while you are undoubtedly pretty Nothing wrong with you except you are too young for me anyway (not that that is relevant).

trust the guys around you are being honest and be yourself. talk about things that interest you, your favourite music and performing artists, TV and movies. consider learning more about what they guys around you like to watch sprts wise to talk to them about that. if at college still then may be talk about the campus team(s).

i don't know you and probablyt never will. but I'm sure you are too good for them anyway.
though your pic does make you look very thin, you need to eat a little more.

find out a few of the local hang outs clubs etc that interest you. go and you will meet guys with the same interests as you always a good start.

whatever you do try and be true to yourself. don't change for the sake of changing or attracting a particular guy. the right guy will come to you when the time is right.
your myspace profile lists you as only 19, you have at least 60 years a head of you yet (provided you are not tragically killed or murdered), so start living your life and having your own kind of fun. start to relax more and the closeness you crave will come to you without you having to go out and find it.
as for getting attached to fast, take a look at your past to see where this closeness craving stems from, were you starved of attention by your family, so you crave the closeness now, or were your parents to clingy and over protective, so now you are grown there overprotective nature is not there and you are mising it (if that makes sense). of course it may not be either of those, like i said i don't and probably will never know you. so only you can look inwardly and try to change your personality to be who you want to be.

good luck.
feel free to get intouch if you want. my email is always open.

Answer 2

Well first off...
Sometimes what we tell ourselves in our heads are not true. I know that I used to be the same way and one day I realized that I was me for a reason and I am going to be the best me I can. You only live once you know. So that is my advice for you. Whenever you start thinking badly about yourself follow it with the total opposite thought, EX: I look fat today followed by I am not fat. IF you tell yourself enough it will become true in your eyes not only other peoples. Also I find that really pretty girls are the most insecure because there is more pressure on them in society to be pretty and to look and act certain ways. I hope this helps. Love yourself and you will live such a wonderful life. :)

Answer 3

First off, they're not just being polite, you are pretty.

I have the same problem (though I'm not nearly as cute as you!). Here's the thing I've found (or at least heard): You need to let go of all your fear and self-doubt. You need to let go of the desperate desire to find the guy. You need to stop worrying about what you're going to say, and just be yourself. It's a nearly impossible thing, but if you can learn to be happy with the life you have, a boy will come. Trust me.

Answer 4

I have a much younger friend (who I'll refer to as J.), who was really shy and awkward around women. J. looked about 14 when he was 21. He would see a girl and just focused on trying way to hard to win her over, even if she showed no interest what so ever.

So we took him out to play "The Game". The object of The Game is simple, learn to talk to the opposite sex and NOT try to date them. We took J. out to mingling joint (where I learned I am now old), J. would look around and see a couple of girls he found attractive. We'd pick one out. J.'s job, introduce himself, talk to them, learn a couple things about them, thank them for the lovely chat, & then come back and tell us what he'd learned about her. We did this 20 times. We told him beforehand he couldn't date any of them, he couldn't get their numbers or email. Introduce, short chat about them, thank them...

By the 20th one, he said it was beginning to feel like a job...

J.s a few year older now, working for a few years outta state. He came back to town recently, a bunch of us guys went out on the town. At one bar J. to our amazement, like it was second nature walked up and talked to a lovely young lady for good 2 hours. Yeah, J still looks 14 to me, but he one confident kid...

Answer 5

join a sport or club. get a makeover. get some new clothes. do something that makes you happy. you're not ugly and quit using the same words over again... use a thesaurus. dont worry... if a guy shows interest just play it cool. try your hardest not to get too attatched until you're dating.

good luck
be careful
use a thesaurus lol

-Em

Answer 6

You really do need to listen when a guy tells you you are pretty.You are.There are guys out there that are just as awkward with girls as you are with guys.Just relax,Smile when a guy looks at you.If a guy talks to you and you like him,dont freak.Just relax.Odds are hes just as nervous as you.He just deals with it differently.While there are some guys who just tell a girl what he thinks she wants to hear,there are just as many guys who mean what they say.If the guy is really into you he will overlook your shyness.Just relax.Dont force yourself to be something you arent.Just relax and be yourself and the guys will be lining up for a date with you.

Answer 7

how old are you then?
i think you need to look in a mirror and tell yourself anything that you think may be even slightly attractive.then slowly tour conffidence/self-esteem does rise
=P

Answer 8

this is hard. the thing is that it is mentally. i mean look around at ppl. do you think all ppl are gorgeous that are in a relationship? not really, they are just themselves and then they ended up meeting someone.

Answer 9

well i saw your picture and i don't know about raising your self esteem but your are raising something over here right now

Answer 10

go for a seminar and get yrself motivated. remember, nobody is perfect.