I was hoping to have advice on this. i am 23. i never had a relationship or even a real-life genuine friend.?

Question

I was hoping to have advice on this. i am 23. i never had a relationship or even a real-life genuine friend. So, I currently have no in-person friends. I never went on a date or had my first kiss. I never even held hands. I never went to a prom, homecoming dance or a winter formal. I never went to the party or over the house of someone of the opposite gender. I am not sure why this happened. how do you feel about this?

Answer 1

It sounds strangely familiar, since all that stuff happened to me before college. Since I've started college, I've met several people through work and class that kinda share my interests, etc. What you should do is try talking to people more. Depending on where you live, if any of your neighbors appear to be friendly, practice on them for a while. Take a class (any class, basically . . . you just need to talk to people for now). Once you're comfortable with talking to people in general, try asking a few girls out. I guess I could get more specific, but the beauty of the Internet is that someone has already done better than I can do here. You will find this site very helpful: http://www.succeedsocially.com/

As for why this happened to you, it could be any number of things. The most common causes are an isolated environment, video games or online time-wasting, and poor upbringing. In my case it was poor upbringing and a fairly isolated environment where I would meet few people my own age while I was growing up. If there's anything else I can help with, email me. Good night!

Answer 2

OK....
firstly don't be too hung up about not having a girlfriend it is a well know phrase " When your looking you will never find anyone and when your not looking someone will find you"

why i say this is cause while your worrying about a girlfriend you will project the image to girls that your desperate and/or a sleaze ( which is never a good thing cause girls don't even want contact or friendships with that kind of guy)

As for a "real life Genuine friend"
well someone once told me a poem you people come into your life for a "Reason" a "Season" or a "Lifetime"

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

but the main thing is just be yourself... cause if you change to please every single person.. one day you will turn around and think " Who the hell am i ?"

Answer 3

First of all let me just say that you are not a freak or a loser as so many other people on her have suggested. People are so quick to judge.

You are 23. You are still very young. You don't have to continue onto this path. You've recognized this problem and now it's time to do something about it.

I don't know the specifics of your life... do you go to college? have a job? hobbies? phobias?

If you attend college then you have many possibilities of meeting people. Take the initiative to talk to classmates and to attend college events. Even if you don't go to college you can take a class of interest at a community college in which you will be able to interract with other people who share your interests. If you don't work, a job can also be a way to meet others. Remember to make eye contact and smile.

Something I recommend strongly is that you don't depend on the internet as your sole method of interacting with others: you need to get out there.

I don't feel sorry for you because there are a lot of things you can do to take charge and still have hope. So begin small and build from there. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

hi.. I was just wondering if you are a guy or gal? . I don't want to believe that you never had a real-life genuine friend since you were younger up to teenage years. That's quite impossible. I'm sure that you're not a bad person for not having a friends of your own. Perhaps you grow up from a place with less than 2 million populaton, so it was kinda scarce to interact with other people in your area. I guess, it is time for you to make a new transition. Try to go out sometime either to watch film, shopping, join a club at school, or participate at a church activity. Don't lose Hope, I'm sure you're going to meet someone.

Answer 5

You need to take up a hobby where you can meet like minded people, or perhaps a course at a local college. There are on line dating services. Go to single nites at bars etc. Go out for drinks with colleagues after work. Or perhaps get a second job a few nights a week or at weekends, in an sociable environment such as a bar or cinema. Good luck

Answer 6

you have to put yourself out there. i know it's hard because there is probably a reason why you ended up in this situation. you might be shy. low self esteem, bad self confident, simply quiet or parents that don't know how to deal with a situation like this (had parents like that and my older sister was ms. popular years before me that i was weird to them and they got panic.)
i used to consider myself a complete alien until i was 15. before that i never got close friends, i was the person that just were quiet and so afraid of what everyone would think about all things I said. so i just shut up. whenever i actually made random friends, they left me after a year or so (not that we were that close during the time) because they simply found a new friend that they considered better. but at least i tried.
when i was 15 i had made one good friend. i decided that i would not loose this person and i would make as many friends as possible, no matter who they were. completely reinvent myself. it happened. i did it. i became really popular with all different kind off ppl and i realized that it is actually really FUN to socialize and if you really put yourself out there, just be you, just have an opinion, be positive, learn how to play the game and is happy - you can actually get ppl to like you and grow! and once you grow and you get the rumor going of being the nice person, the fun person, stuff come by themselves.
well, now i'm 25 and i'm in a similar situation. i'm stuck again. well, it's jsut to take a deep breath, join a class, if you are in college try to talk to your classmates - about anything really "how was your weekend? any plans for the weekend?" ask ppl question, that is always a good one. ppl love to talk about themselves.
Also, don't stress about the facts about what you haven't done. maybe you just haven't met the right ppl. we are all different and fit into different kind of groups in the society. that's why it is so important to join a class or do something, discover what you like.
And, don't be afraid to ask for ppl's number, if calling is scary, send a message. just try & stuff comes from that! really ppl don't bite and are that bad. you just have to figure out the trick to connect to ppl. and be positive & open-minded, focus on the other person. nobody wants to hang out with ppl that complain. don't give up!

Answer 7

I feel that everyone is different. Anyone who believes everyone should have a date by a certain age is small-minded. Everyone has different priorities in their life, some people put a high priority on dating and relationships others do not. I feel that for some time you did not put a high priority on this but now you feel you want to. The best way to do that is to start with something that interests you and join a club. This will give you a small group of people with at least one interest in common with you. You will also have to take risks and open up to people, but it is worth it. Take care and good luck.

Answer 8

I think that you should begin by talking to people and getting to know others. You will not get far if you want a friendship with other people if you don't begin talking to them. Start off by meeting people in person where ever it is that you go. If you go to school, then try making friends there...become more sociable. Eventually, you will begin to create relationships that will last a lifetime. In all of this, you will most likely be able to find th person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with, but don't be shy. Being shy only stops you from going up to others and getting to know them. Relax and open yourself more to the outside world.

Answer 9

Wow that is a dozzie of a question. But my brother was just like you. He was a virgin till he was 27. And never had any real relationships. What I can say that helped him was to stop wanting it and it will come. I know that sounds corny and lame but it worked. Also there has to be a good reason why your in this predicament. Think about it and try to fix what you can and love what you can't.

Answer 10

I think that maybe you just weren't ready for those type of experiences and you are probably uneasy about exploring them now. You should just be you and start dating when you're ready, start mingling with more people. Find people that you have things in common with and start hanging out, regardless if they are the same sex or not. I know you probably feel like a loser, dork, but I think that it's a decision that you have to make for you. Don't follow others because you want to be accepted, do what's suitable for you.