What's the best way to tell your parent you're atheist?

Question

It's really hard to tell a hard core catholic that you're atheist.

Answer 1

Just say that everyone has the right to believe what they want, and you disagree with some of the teachings and hypocrisy of the catholic movement, like the whole confessing your sins, like if you were religious you shouldn't sin in the first place, and you would rather focus on belief and faith in yourself and the power that you have to control your life, and not leave it to the will of god to direct you and and determine your fate, its your life and you want to take control of it and responsibility for it and not dismiss things as gods and God's doing, put it down to wanting to be responsible and accountable to yourself for your actions and convince them that you have a conscience you don't need to fear god to make you do the right thing

Answer 2

See if there is a way that you can anonymously ask your pastor or youth pastor how to go about it, or ask them in person, if you would feel comfortable doing that. Failing that, ask your school counselor. You should certainly tell them before this mission trip, because, in your current state, you will certainly do more harm than good if you go. I would suggest "coming out" first to whichever parent is less strongly religious--which, based on your description, sounds like your dad. More important, however, is to examine why you consider yourself an atheist, and whether you really are one. To be an atheist is to admit absolutely no possibility of any supernatural reality whatsoever. If you are open to the possibility of the existence of the supernatural, but don't necessarily believe in it, then you would actually qualify as agnostic, which is more of a "wait-and-see" attitude. As to why you consider yourself atheist, that may have a lot to do with two major problems in American churches in general. 1) Most of them fail to communicate what Christianity is really about, focusing instead on the religious, superficial aspects of it; 2) most of them give very poor arguments, if any, for the validity of Christianity. There are better answers, but most churches seem to be ignorant of them. The best evidence for Christianity, however, is a real Christian. Most people in the Western world have never met one; if you've decided to walk away from Christianity, then I would guess that you never have, either. If you'd like to know more about the real message of Christianity, or the best evidences for it, I would be happy to answer your questions. Whatever you do, in connection to your parents or me or anything else, ask yourself the following: Is it consistent with what, to the best of my knowledge, is right? It it honest? Is it fair? Whether you are Christian or not, the admonition of 1 Thessalonians 5:21 is extremely useful: "Test everything. Hold on to the good." Good luck!

Answer 3

I respect this issue, though it would be best if you really kept an open mind about things while your young enough to care what your parents think.... especially since lapses of faith are common, especially in youth. No one wants you kicked out of your home while you're going thru whatever doubts you're having.

I think it's probably one of those things that you need to keep on paying lip service to for the time being.

Why do you feel the need to tell them? It's not like you're gay and want to have a mate of the same sex.

OR.... if you're not worried about them kicking you out, go ahead and out yourself.


~A

Answer 4

My mother is Catholic. I've been an atheist for about 20 years (I was still a child, basically), and I still haven't told her. I don't think I will ever tell her. She would blame herself. She would think she didn't raise her son correctly (in her view).

And, I'm OK with not telling her. She has suffered a few scares already (one son went to Iraq (came back safe), a niece with leukemia (she's OK now), and her ailing mother). I'm at peace with her not having to know.

Answer 5

It will be difficult no matter what, but it is better to be open and honest. My boyfriend’s family is mormon and instead of telling them he didn’t believe in the church he just starting doing all the things you’re not supposed to do by their standards. It made it a lot harder to accept it because they think he was just going through a phase. (They still do.)

Answer 6

The best way to tell them is over a tuna salad.

Don't ask me why but that's what latest research indicates.

Answer 7

I'm dealing with a similar problem right now. My mom's a pentecostal Christian, and I'm agnostic. I haven't told her yet. Anyway, you can go ahead and look at my question, because I asked a similar one awhile back.

Answer 8

Do you know how they are going to react? if so save yourself the trouble. They aren't going to change nor are they going to accept your views. you will be looked down upon and criticized. you might even get yourself kicked out of your family. Do yourself a favor and keep your views to yourself if you know it is going to be a giant fight.

Answer 9

This is easy, send them a " Hallmark card " stating that you are an atheist !!

Answer 10

Just say this: Mom, Dad... I need to tell you that this past Easter, I gave up religion for Lent. And it stuck! I'm still not practising! Aren't you proud of me?

And when they say no, tell them that God would be proud.