I've been dating this girl for over a year now ( my longest relationship by about 11 months) and I feel like its dwindling off. I'm only 18 and we both recently graduated from high school. She wants to eventually go off to a university (not naming what she wants to do because i dont know who reads these questions) yet she didnt apply to any... I somewhat get the impression that she didnt go to a university because she wanted to stay in her home town because of me. I love her to death and lately we've vaguely started talking about our future together. This is only her second relationship, her first boyfriend wasn't a very good one. I honestly would love to spend the rest of my life with her, but it feels like now is too early. I guess i'm feeling tied down. I have no reason to break up with her, shes perfect. Any ideas of what I should do?
Wait it out? Talk to her about how i'm feeling?
Thanks a bunch...
2007-06-02 14:21:31 · 9 answers · asked by M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is going to the community college for an AA, then off for her doctors.
The career I'm choosing dosn't require a college degree. I'll be financially set in less than a year :-/
Thanks for the answers so far everyone!
2007-06-02 15:02:50 · update #1
talking is usually the first and best step to any relationship issue. you are young and it seems like its the first good serious relationship either one of you have had. talk it out and think of ways to make sure you are both happy. you aren't at a point where you guys have to break up or get married. its a plateau you have to get over. but talk talk talk...
2007-06-02 14:28:47 · answer #1 · answered by clevernickname 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you are feeling. You seem to feel guilty for her not applying to college. Is there a community college the two of you could go to together?
Just let her know you aren't ready to get really serious. I'm not saying go date other people, just don't take your relationship to the next level. You don't have to commit to marriage or anything, you are only 18. Just let her know you want be with her, you just want to take it slow.
And don't worry about her only having one boyfriend (who was a bad one) before you. I only had one boyrfriend (who wasn't a very good one, either) before I met my fiance. (He's 21 & I'm 20). So just because she hasn't had many boyfriends doesn't mean she doesn't know what she's doing.
Just remember, no one is asking you two to get married. You can still date without being tied down.
2007-06-02 21:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by aak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a story for you about a good friend of mine. I met him at work when I was about 24 and he was 22.
He was in high school in NY and felt his high school girlfriend was "the one". But she was going to one school and he was going to another - about 500 miles apart. They mutually decided (and I was very impressed because this takes a lot of maturity) to break for the time being because they needed to concentrate on their studies and they were going to be so far apart. He told me that "if it was meant to be, it would be".
I met him right after he graduated college. One Christmas, he stopped by my townhouse on his way back to his place. He was in heaven because they had hooked up all over again over the holidays while they were both home. Now that they were graduated and were moving on with their lives, they felt they could reignite the flames. They had a long distance thing for about a year while everything settled in and finally she moved to be with him (in NC).
Now they are married and just had their second kid and are very happy.
In a nutshell, you are feeling pressure, but seriously...you've got many, many years ahead of you. For heaven's sake, don't let her pressure you (I used to be one of those girls). You almost sound like an "old married couple"...no more spark, but still content and ok/happy. My advice is to keep it status quo. Don't get married. The trend in marriage is to get married a bit older. Get your feet under you, get a career. Experience life a bit...then think about marriage. If she waits, great. If not, so be it. Don't make your life about one girl...you'll regret it.
2007-06-02 21:34:38 · answer #3 · answered by CG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u should talk to her about taking about taking a break. U don't really break up u just go ur seperate ways for a little bit and c other people if u love her and she loves u then u will both agree to get back together and then talk about the future.
2007-06-02 21:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by Hannah A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im sure that if you both get accepted to the same university that would be a HUGE help i mean you would see each other daily and college is a good thing to experience and you'll have way more job opportunities... in my opinion... life with your girl starts after you grad from college and get a job... then u can afford to stay at your own pad
2007-06-02 21:27:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a honest conversation and tell her what you want
and tell her that if you are meant to be together forever
that it will happen but at 18 it is time to figure out what you
want to do and who you want to be and she should go
to college and be advised to make sure you use protection
so that nobody gets pregnant on purpose. If you get my drift.
2007-06-02 21:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's really lasting love, then there is no need to hurry into marriage...the relationship will always be there anyway.
2007-06-02 21:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely talk to her. Girls like that.
2007-06-02 21:26:13 · answer #8 · answered by dfhdfhdg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough....... She may be hiding something from you......
2007-06-02 21:25:06 · answer #9 · answered by Leon E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋