is it OK to keep ex-boyfriends/girlfriends love notes while in a relationship??

Question

my bf thinks its NOT OK AT ALL!!!

Answer 1

YES

they are memories

Answer 2

Of course he thinks that, it isn't his past or his emotions that were recorded...just yours. They meant something to you...and probably still do. When you got them, they made you feel special and wonderful and loved. Even though that relationship is over, the notes still have the power to make you feel good.

Your current boyfriend thinks that if the relationship is past, the emotions should be in the past, too. I doubt he'll be able to understand that your feelings are about the articles and the moments they represent, not about the person they came from.

Most women will understand that. Many men will not. I think it's about the way our brains are wired. So, you have choices. You can put them in a box and put them in the basement or attic (I recommend that, what he doesn't know won't hurt him), you can get rid of them (one day you will, but not until you're ready) or you can try (and it will work for half an hour) to make your current boyfriend happy and let him help you get rid of them....I don't actually reccommend that at all.

You're not responsible to manage his insecurity. That's his job.

In a filing cabinet in my house somewhere, you'll find my prom pictures and college dance photos and maybe a letter or two. None of those people are my husband.

In a closet in the house somewhere you'll find a box with my husband's pictures collected, a mimento or two and maybe a note. None of them are me.

Those of us together are not in a box or filing cabinet somewhere. They're framed and on the walls and mantles. I recommend you do the same. Put the old ones away, put the current ones out. When your boyfriend is a little more secure, he'll stop bugging you about the old ones.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have some emotional problems. You need to get over your ex. It might end up hurting your current relationship. You shouldn't try to compare sexual partners, cause everyone does things differently. And sometimes men need a lesson once in a while. Whenever you have sex, make sure you tell him exactly what feels the best, and praise him for doing the right stuff by telling him how good he is. That might help make him feel more confident and even more verbal in the bedroom. But comparing him to your ex is just going to hurt you in the end.

Answer 4

Well we all have certain things we treasure in life. Pictures, letters, family heirlooms and many others things. So as long as these letters aren't your topic of conversation in your relationship...where's the harm? But, if something we are holding on to from a past is hindering our present circumstance and the future of it. Is it really worth keeping? Sometimes we have to let go of the past in order to not effect our present and future goals and relationships with others in a negative way. So you have to decide what's more important here.

Answer 5

I personally wouldn't. It tells the person you are currently dating and seeing that you are not over your exes. It could cause problems. I can see why your boyfriend might have a problem with this. You are giving off the message that you might have feelings for someone else in your past. Get rid of them at once.

Answer 6

Are you kidding me of course that is not ok!!!!

That means that you are still attached to your ex, which means that the new bf/gf is being used and mistreated behind his or her back. That is wrong and...I can't believe someone would ask something like that!!!


WHOA MY BAD

OMG whoops I thought you asked if you could write the Ex love notes....sorry I think that is fine.....=D

Good Luck!

Answer 7

It's not okay, because it means you are still attached to that relationship. I think you should move on and get rid of that stuff, even if you think that it's okay. I use to have a whole diary and book of the stuff my ex-boyfriend wrote, but I couldn't move on without getting rid of it and even if you think are have moved on the fact that you are still holding onto things from a prior relationship proves not. ~~You don't need to hold onto that stuff to keep the "memories" because memories can be held in your thoughts.~~

Honestly....it's kind of messed up to still be holding onto it since your boyfriend knows about it and yet you still have it after knowing he doesn't like it. Most guys would get out of the relationship, because they'd look at it as you not having moved on and as if you still belong to some body else, metaphorically speaking.

**Heck if I know why people are giving me thumbs down, but it's my opinion. I can think of so many ways to justify having it, but to me, it's selfish that you'll hold onto this objects that are from another relationship and let your boyfriend be hurt.

The question is gonna run down to....who is more important? How your boyfriend feels? Or the letters and keepsakes from another relationship?

This is the question he is probably asking himself:

"Why do you need letters to remind you of a relationship that ended when you have a boyfriend that cares about you?"

That is a good question and you should think about it.

Answer 8

I don't see why it wouldn't be okay. Unless you still like your ex-boyfriend, or have left over feelings. Everyone likes to have memories. You should ask your new boyfriend why he doesn't think it's okay, and talk it out with him. Tell him why you want to keep them. Say that you just want to have something to look back on, or things like that. Make him understand if you REALLY want to keep them. But if it makes you want the other guy back, then I would just get rid of them.

Answer 9

yea it's ok!!! im in a relationship and i still have my ex's notes...if your bf thinks it's not ok, just ask why. if he says because you have another boyfriend and you shouldn't dwell on the relationships of the past, just say something like it makes you feel special. i did that and my bf is alright with that

Answer 10

Sure it is! Hide 'em though, they're your personal things. Not to be a downer or anything, but you'll probably break up with the current one at some point and they'll become an ex and you can keep their love notes too. :)

Once you get married and have "the one", then maybe you'll not care about what happens to them. But until then, hold on to it. You'll like reading them later on.

Answer 11

No it's not really OK. It would seem that you're still hanging on to the past. You're dating your new bf, so why do you keep old love letters? Toss 'em, unless you really don't care about your new bf that much. He's right.