what do you do if you have an egocentric mother?

Question

she only cares about what she wants. she makes promises she can't keep.

Answer 1

Is she a single parent? If she is, cut her some slack. Being a single parent is not easy.
It's natural for people to be egocentric - everyone except those of us who are saints is. You're egocentric too. You're young, and so you don't see with adult eyes, but trust me. And this doesn't mean that you're bad - like I said, it's natural. Granted, some people are more egocentric than others, and some are criminally egocentric, but most people are simply moderately egocentric.
Try to do things independently of your mom so that you two don't set each other off. Take up a hobby and make new friends. While you're busy doing that, you can forget (temporarily) about how much she bugs you. Then, when you become an emancipated minor, you can take off and live indedpendently. The future is yours.

Answer 2

Your mother may suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) like my mother does. While all people are narcissistic to a degree, a clinical narcissist is completely warped by their self-absorption. They completely lack empathy and compassion for others, are "interpersonally exploitative" (use people), feel a strong sense of superiority and entitlement, do not respect the personal boundaries of others, and tend to emotional abuse those close to them. They also refuse to accept any real responsibility for their behavior which means that their "loved ones" are frequently blamed for things that couldn't possibly be their fault.

Read Nina W. Brown's book "Children of the Self-Absorbed" and take the self-assessment quiz in the front of the book. If your mom tests as a narcissist, the book will give you more insightful advice about how to handle her. Good luck.

Answer 3

You can only control your self and your responses so there is nothing you can do to change her. I guess I'd say, don't expect the kind of parenting from her that a more considerate, less self-centred person would be able to give you. Try and get your nurturing from other family members, friends and from within yourself.

It is really hard to do, but if you truly see her as she is and do not keep hoping for someone different, you will not be devastated when she acts just the way a self-centred person will act.

Answer 4

pfff. Don't I know it. Try to live completely for your own merit. try not to need her opinion and find other people in that role, so you can distance yourself from that specific behaviour... it's a tough one to do though.