Do you ever get sick of people insisting that you aren't properly socialized?

Question

It's really strange to me and I think it's pretty annoying. I meet someone, they're very impressed with me, and think I'm awesome. Then they find out I don't go to school and all of a sudden I'm deprived?

You didn't know I was homeschooled until I told you...doesn't that negate your point?

More of a rant than a question, I know.

Normally when I'm the only homeschooled kid in a group I end up hanging out on the fringes because all the school kids are jackasses to me.

If everyone's picking on you when you've done nothing to deserve it, does that make you want to spend time with them?

All I do, since it always comes up, is say, "Yeah, I've kind of taken the whole education thing on to myself. It's pretty cool. You go to Stuy? A friend of mine goes there, she says the music program is pretty cool. You involved in that?" I don't think that deserves constant teasing and being ostracized.

Then again I guess people think I'm strange because I don't care about what 15-year old girls normally think about...

But the thing that pisses me off, is that if I were in school, it would be great. What, you like to read books about quantum mechanics? That's great! You have diverse musical tastes? That's great! Wow, that's so awesome.

But no, I don't go waste my time in a center of pedantry so now I'm weird and sheltered.

Kimberly, I do have plenty of fun. Last night I stayed out until 2:30 AM with my friends, we saw a movie, had some Pokemon battles and then ran around Washington Square Park and got stalked by a homeless guy.

And yet, this morning, when I woke up, I cracked open my copy of 'Schroedinger's Kittens' and enjoyed the nerdity.

Also, I'm so glad that you've had a chance to meet a large percentage of homeschoolers, and that you have so much scientific training and so many studies to back you up.

Oh, wait. You don't.

Answer 1

Lots of home schooled kids are socialized. Often times those of us who were educated in the "outside world" center a chunk of our lives around school, school-related activities, and people that we met at school, so much so that it's hard to imagine what our lives would be like without it. The reality is that most of us would just find something else to do, like I'm sure you have. We just think about if WE hadn't had our school social lives and how deprived WE would feel, because it's really all we know.

And of course it doesn't help that some home-schooled kids are entirely too sheltered by parents who are home-schooling them for all the wrong reasons and trying to keep them locked up. I had such a friend in junior high and the first part of high school. She was homeschooled by parents who just wanted to completely cut her off from the outside world and didn't have much social interaction at all. Then in junior high they sent her to public school because she couldn't keep up with her lessons. She was completely overwhelmed and eventually dropped out of school because she was just shocked by the interaction and ended up in conflict with everyone.

This is a rare case, but those are the cases that stand out to people and the ones that they remember. Being home-schooled causes a kid to have a different kind of life definitely, for better or worse. But I'm sure you know that sometimes it IS better. You just have to explain to people that you had social experiences, just not in the same form. This is a subject in which a lot of people just can't see past their noses and through their own experiences.

Answer 2

I agree with all these answers, my daughter is going through the same thing right now too!

You won't know these people 10 years from now you'll be with your own like minded peers and you are definitely socialized already!

I wish I had been you: I would have probably reached more of my dreams had I not been influenced by peers that had not a care in the world and loved to convince me of the same. So stay away: and you know who: keep your eye on the goals you've already set out for and you will achieve them and more! I can tell already! That makes me smile!

Answer 3

Don't worry about what anyone says. Stand strong, be who you are, and only choose to be around those whose company you enjoy and who also enjoy your company. Anything else is a waste of time.

My 14-year-old niece who attended a private Christian school and just recently had to transfer to a public school once said, "Kids (teenagers) spend so much time trying to be different from other people that in the end, they turn out to be just like everybody else." These are true words.

Be yourself.

Answer 4

I hate when people insist that homeschoolers are sheltered and socially awkward. I met about half a dozen homeschoolers while I was in high school and college, and all of them were interesting conversationalists, very focused, great at prioritizing and budgeting time, and the kind of people that are pleasant to be around. I envied the fact that while I was in public school classrooms where teachers were little more than babysitters, they were learning for the love of it and actually applying their skills and knowledge. One homeschooler I know even spent several weeks of his "high school" time living in Alaska and working on a political campaign from the primaries to election day. He went on to major in political science in college... at the age of 16. Not properly socialized? Ha! This kid could converse comfortably with people of all ages and backgrounds. How many "average teenagers" learn to do that in school?

...and in response to the comment, "Teen girls are supposed to be giggly, bouncy, and boy-crazy, as lame as it is. But you know what? That's what makes being a teen FUN!" I've got to say that THAT IS JUST STUPID. As a teen girl, I was never "giggly, bouncy, and boy-crazy." Was I not what I was supposed to be? I had plenty of fun anyway, I assure you. Was it the wrong kind of teenage girl fun? Did I miss out? I guess even 13 years of public school weren't enough to make me into your perception of what teen girls are supposed to be. I thank heaven for it!

Answer 5

It all depends on how you define "socialize". Webster's defines it as fitting or training for a social situation. By that definition, I would say you're likely well socialized. BUT, if you define it by the standards of many others, especially homeschooling critics, it would look more like the peer dependence which is predominant in the public schools. This looks more like kids who know that inorder to survive they must learn the right words, attitudes, music, movies, TV shows, piercings, friends and clothes. They know that if they don't conform they will be outcasts and likely be bullied. When homeschooling opponents speak of socialization, apply this definition (peer dependence). For yourself and all others, apply the real definition. Keep up the good work. Find likeminded people and make friends of them. These people you describe are not worth your time or worry.

Answer 6

I home school my girls, who are 7 and 4. They are very social. They have many friends. They go to dance class, and an after school program (glorified babysitting) at one of the schools where my sister teaches (just to get out of the house), one goes to piano lessons.

As they get older, they will be in what ever other activities they want to be in, like sports.

I don't keep them locked in the basement. I've had people make comments too about their "socialization". They have more of a life than I ever had, and more friends, and I went to school.

Answer 7

I know. My Bff Goes and Hangs out with all her friends from school and calls me like once a week. I feel like I an sociliazed enogh. I wish people would get over the fact i am Homeschooled and Just be nice.

Answer 8

I homeschooled my daughter for 2 yrs after middle school. She decided she was ready for college at 15 years old. She has since finished her first year and has been well respected in the college community even at being only 16yrs old. She surprises most people by letting them know she is planning on being a doctor. The most important thing she has realized is that those people who say negative things are usually ignorant to understanding the benefits of homeschooling. I also have a 5yr old son who is homeschooled. He plays baseball & soccer. We all do karate and raise guinea pigs in grange. Stand proud, knowing that many people homeschooled have entered college with higher SAT scores, and become very successful. Just smile and stand tall knowing you may well be their boss (or own the business they work for) someday!

Answer 9

The honest truth is parents who homeschool their childeren should be ridiculed.

I'll never forget the time I was sitting next to these 2 kids in an ACT prep course, who happened to be home schooled, and I made some type of joke about sex. The boys looked at me and said, "what is sex?"

Anybody who says homeschooled kids are just as socialized as public school kids are just lying to themselves. Public school kids socialize every day from 8-3, homeschooled kids do it much less.

Homeschooled kids are also at a big disadvantage for getting into top tier colleges and universities.

Answer 10

I'd like to know how so many people who have never homeschooled or even had children come to decide that homeschooled children cannot interact with others, cannot speak in front of others, etc...? If they aren't homeschooling themselves or their children, how often do they get out around other normal homeschoolers to make such a judgement call? Are they really that comfortable making that call based on having casually been acquainted with one or two homeschoolers, or as a supposition that they believe is likely to be true?

There are over 100 kids in our core homeschool group we meet with regularly at co-op activities. There are at least a few hundred in our area, plus it's not uncommon for us to go to homeschooling events planned in neighboring counties. What I see is completely contradictory to what they claim.

When anyone I happen to meet in our area questions the social skills of homeschoolers I always invite them to come out to our co-op class day or join us for a field trip or playdate in the park if they are curious-- so far no one has ever taken me up on it, though, but that doesn't stop them from holding to their admittedly uniformed opinion.

I would think anyone who felt compelled to come on a homeschooling forum to openly speak out against homeschooling would be interested enough in the topic to go and check it out for themselves-- apparently not, though. I know I wouldn't feel compelled to jump into conversations and speak out against people with whom I've had little to no real experience, so it baffles me.

MSB