My GF always accuses me of having a wandering eye & she has this perception that Men in general must never be trusted when it comes to relationships.Why is that? I've always told her that I love her & she's the only one for me but she never takes my word. She gets really worried When we attend parties, me seeing my buddies there & there's a lot of Beautiful women there. I told her that she has nothing to worry about & i even proposed to have a Lie Detector test just to prove to her that i'm not cheating on her. Why do most women torture themselves by this along with their men? Please Help...I'm at the end of my ropes here...I love this woman to death by her ways are just pushing me to the edge because of her dramas! Why do they drive us men Crazy like this?
2007-06-02 09:50:33 · 30 answers · asked by joel750 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its the other way around.
2007-06-02 09:52:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think for the most part it stems from a lack of self esteem. I can't really speak to why they do it but that seems to make sense to me. If someone was secure in who they were and what they brought to a relationship, this would not be an issue. It is absooutely normal to look at other people. If you see some one that has beautiful eyes or are incredibly striking, man or woman, you are naturally going to take notice. Maybe you guys are young or your relatinship is fairly new, I'm not sure but maybe she is not entirely confident on where she sits with you but I still say that stems from a lack of self esteem.
I think if you truly love this person to death that it would be to your advantage to take some time out and discuss how it makes you feel and offer to help her work through it or at least ask her to be honest as to why she reacts that way because it is having a negative effect and I am sure that is not what she wants. Strange how sometimes what we fear the most, when we dont take the time to be honest with ourselves and deal with it, that we act out in other ways that leads us right back to actually creating a situation that we worry about that never existed.
2007-06-02 09:58:00 · answer #2 · answered by kathleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for me i did trust my husband until he cheated the first time. She probably has seen a lot of her friends get cheated on, or in a past relationship been cheated on or possibly she has a low self asteem and therefore doesn't think she is good enough to keep you interested in just her. Ask her why it is that she thinks you're going to cheat or checking out other women. That will tell you where the root of the problem is. If for instance she says that she sees a lot of guys cheat, well then let her know that not all guys do this. If she has been cheated on in the past let her know that was him and not you and then do yourself and her a favor and don't check out the other ladies because that will only make her more insecure.
2007-06-02 09:59:21 · answer #3 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, people react to jealousy in different ways.. Either she is the one cheating and puts it on you.. Or she is genuenly worried that you are cheating on her... Think about this, in your past relationships have your exes done the same thing?? And if they have, why do you think they would act this way???? But if they haven't then, are you doing something like hiding things from her to not get her mad, yet she finds out and she catches you on lies.. so then she doesn't trust you????
She must have been hurt before and you must understand that... But i get the fact that this is getting to you.. it would to any body...
Talk to her.. seriously talk to her.. sit her down and tell her how you feel.. and ask her to just give you a shot.. And if she doesn't then even though its hard you need to let her go.. You need someone to love you and trust you... and so does she...
Best of luck and i hope that she changes her idea of cheating.. and men.....
2007-06-02 09:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by Chica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on a lot of things. BTW, not all women think like your girlfriend does. Anyway, she might be like that because you have a track record for having a wondering eye. She might accuse you of being that way because she has had a lot of crappy boyfriends that treated her wrong. She might have low self esteem and think that all her boyfriends will cheat on her. It might be that she grew up seeing all the women she loves get cheated on by their husbands or boyfriends.
One thing is for sure, she doesn't trust you. Tell her that she is driving you insane and you will breakup with her if she doesn't cut it out. But if you have done something untrustworthy which has caused her to have these issues then you are the person to blame for why she is acting such a way. BTW, she can either choose to forgive you and start trusting you again or she can leave you but your relationship can't stay the way it is.
2007-06-02 09:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by Moneypenny 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Most" should be replaced with some. As a woman who has been cheated on numerous times, I can tell you that it can be hard for some of us to let go of the past. Never giving our new bf's a chance. But there are "some" like me, have no problem leaving the past in the past. I have never had the problem of not trusting my man until he has actually cheated. And in saying that, I would need proof; like seeing it with my own eyes. Never taking even my best friends word for it.
2007-06-02 09:56:13 · answer #6 · answered by summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women usually have no trust in men because they have been hurt in love to many times before and they are scared to fall in love again for the fear of being hurt.......let her know that her ways are pushing you to your edge...but be there for her...cause if you walk out now its gonna do nutthing but prove her point all men cant be trusted...
2007-06-02 09:54:55 · answer #7 · answered by Kay Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of the time the woman has a reason to distrust the man...the men are hard to trust but if there isnt trust then the relationship is in for a ride..if you cant take what she is doing the best thing is to tell her and get out before its too serious...if you are having that kind of problem now just dating,think if its gets more serious and then marriage it could be really worse..goodluck
2007-06-02 09:58:11 · answer #8 · answered by hotmommadru 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend sounds just like me! And if she is she probably has the same reason I accuse my boyfriend of that stuff...because we are insecure. She cares a lot of you, but is worried you will find something better. For me its my body apperance. So after my boyfriend and I sat down and talked about it he has understood me more, and also even trys to make sure on a VERY REGULAR basis to pay me compliments all the time, things from "morning beautiful" to "you look amazing in those jeans give me a turn!"
Talk with her and good luck with your girl!
2007-06-02 09:57:58 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women forget that this world is a majority woman. Like 52% or so. So for every man that cheats, there are women too. So if you do have a girl like that , she has serious problems with her confidence. She is just as likely to cheat as you. So why worry about it. My friend has a psycho girl that would not let him out at all and called him a cheater when he never ever cheated on her (I would know) But then it turned out she was cheating on him!
2007-06-02 09:55:26 · answer #10 · answered by michael p 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is something that will never change. You will just need to accept the way it is and learn to live with it.Trust me you will get use to it because all women are a little insecure.
just put your arm around her and whisper in her ear how great she looks and that you love her.
All men are visual creatures by nature.Women know this. that is why they always try to look their best. They fix their hair and put on make up. they wax and tweeze and diet.
Thanks ladies by the way i do appreciate it
2007-06-02 10:09:08 · answer #11 · answered by leo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋