I have two sons by different fathers with different last names. I am marrying the man of our dreams soon, and would like to have info about changing the boys' last names to my husband-to-be's, even though he is not their biological father. We all want his last name, and is this possible? If so, how would I go about it?
2007-06-02 09:29:26 · 9 answers · asked by darcy w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There are alot of factors involved. Such as: How involved are the bio-dad's? Do they pay child support or see them? Are you wanting just a name change, or an adoption?
Whatever the case, the permission of the bio-dad would HAVE to be obtained. Some states (like mine TX) have abandonment laws. If a child has two years of no contact with a parent (either personal, or legal-child support payments or contact by Attorney General), then the parental rights can be terminated without consent.
If your soon to be hubby wants to adopt the boys, then the bio dad would have to consent to the termination of his parental rights.
Contact the Attorney General for your state (they have regional offices in most major cities fo the state), or see what info is on the AG website for your state. You can also call a free legal clinic (most law schools have them or a referral to one), for the most accurate expert information.
Child custody, parental rights, and adoption are very complicated issues, and add to that the emotional factor and you definately have a situation where professional legal advice in needed.
If the bio-dads aren't actively involved in your son's lives, then it shouldn't be as complicated. Let your fiance embrace his two sons. What will matter more to your boys in the long run is that he IS a daddy. The man that stays to be a daddy will always be more important than the name. If it doesn't work out legally at this time, most states have an 'age of decision'. In TX it is 14. When they reach that age, they can testify before a judge what they want. The standard is 'the best interest of the child'. If at that time, the bio-dad still isn't involved and the hubby is a positive male role model, then the child can ask for the adoption/name change.
However it works out: please don't re-enforce the fact that their 'real' dad left them, and 'dreamboat' is here. Model (you and your dream) by action that he loves them and that they are his sons by choice, not as a package cuz he wants their mom. Focus on what they have (two parents who love them and want them), instead of the man who left. That will matter more to their self esteem and the men that they will grow to become. Any a$$hole can create a baby... A real man is willing to be a parent.
My admiration and respect goes out to your man. A man who is willing to step in and be a daddy to two young boys is rare. A mother will always love her children and do what needs to be done the best way she knows how. But only a good man can model what good men are to young boys.
Good luck to you and your family. And congratulations on your wonderful marraige.
2007-06-02 09:56:26 · answer #1 · answered by tipperwell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to have the biological father's permission to change their names unless your soon-to-be husband also wants to adopt them. If they just want to use his name they can just start using it and if you want to make it "more legal" you can file for a name change through the court. My daughter did this years ago. She always went by my husband's last name after we were married but wanted to make it legal. We went to court and got her name changed. I might add that in our case her biological Dad paid support but didn't attempt to see the kids very often. Perhaps a few times a year. He had a new family as well. This has been several years ago but at the time I think it only cost about $200.00 to get er done.
2007-06-02 11:33:23 · answer #2 · answered by why 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably varies from state to state, but your best bet is to call a family lawyer and get a free consultation. They can point you in the right direction. I know in my state, you petion the father for permission, and if he doesnt answer than you get what you want. If he says no, than you can still take it before a judge and the judge can decide to go ahead and let you do it anyway, depending on what is in the best interest of the child. You have 50 percent rights to there last name and that means if you can get a judge to agree, you can change it to whatever you want, regardless if there is an adoption or not.
2007-06-02 10:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gave my 2 older kids their fathers name before we were married for several reasons... 1. I disliked my maiden name and wanted them to have a "simpler" name to say and spell. 2. I fully expected us to get married at some point 3. When we DID get married, I did not want to have to go through the hassle of changing their last name. Child support had nothing to do with it as we lived together and made the choice that I would stay home with the baby for the first few years. We were briefly on benefits ( medicaid only) but we used his income to qualify ( I did not have any income). we had 2 children in the 6 years we dated/lived together before we married. They were 5 & 1 at our wedding. We had one child after we married.
2016-05-19 05:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can get complicated
1. "new" father must legally adopt the children
2. birth father must give authorization OR you may be able to go to court and do it, but ONLY if the birth fathers do not contribute to the children's upkeep. if either father pays CS then they would have to give approval and it could entail their not having to pay CS-these are legal questions which would require an attorney and court.
2007-06-02 09:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by dulcrayon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can not legally change the last name unless he adopts the kids.
The children have fathers...and you chose to give them their biological father's last name....you have to get their consent, and also have them file to terminate their rights before your new husband can adopt them.
2007-06-02 09:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where I am from you have to go to your local court house and fill out papers on this. It is called adoption. Call your local court house. Find out the procedure. :)
2007-06-02 09:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by Krissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let the boys decide if they want their last names changed.if so go to the court house. they will help you.
2007-06-02 09:34:51 · answer #8 · answered by good_fatrabbit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fathers have to sign papers saying its ok, or you cant do it
2007-06-02 09:33:07 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋