My children are not reacting well to the news that I am pregnant? HELP?

Question

Hello!! I'm 33 y/o & am happily married!Catherine Ella is my full name, but you can just call me Ella. I have 3 children, they are all girls! Their names are: Charianna Rose 5 yo
Danielle Elizabeth 2 y/o will be 3 in July
Caroline Scarlett 8 months (she goes by Scarlett!) Oh! By the way for the people who were wondering Charianna is pronounced (chair-E-aNNa) The name of twin #1 will be Anabella Renne. The name of twin #2 will be Ansley Grace. The problem is though, Charianna is not responding to this news well. At first she didn't seem to mind it but now she is crying, screaming, and constanly having fits about it! She's been through this 2 times already so I don't know why she's making such a big deal out of it. What are some ways to ease her into the idea that she's going to have 2 new siblings?? She is a very social child and enjoys coloring and all normal activities for her age. (playing house etc.) So why is she taking this sooooo hard??

cont.
Okay, sorry! But she makes Danielle cry and scream about it too. I just want them to be happy. If someone in a store notices that I'm pregnant, and says something, Danielle and Charianna go into fits!! It's mainly Charianna though! I don't know why, she took the other two births soooooo well. And now she's freaking out!

But she just went through this with Scarlett 17 months ago?? She can't be that upset...

Answer 1

Charianna feels like she will be pushed aside or have to give something up. I would scedule at least one hour twice a week that just the two of you do something together without the other girls. She was pretty used to being the only child and then babies just started coming and never seem to stop. She probably feels pretty overwhelmed. Have your "Ladies Lunch" etc even after the new babies come (it will be hard but sooo worth it). Help her feel like she is still very special to you and help her understand that she will always have a special place in your heart as your first baby, a place that no one else can ever take. Maybe even call her My First Baby as a nickname for now. Respect that she is still only 5, we don't mean to but we sometimes see our older ones as A LOT older when a little one arrives. She will not gain age, experience, wisdom or maturity just becaues YOU have new babies, let her still be little when she needs to and help her feel like she is special to you. That will probably help. She is facing a lot, new babies (4 in 3 yrs) and maybe starting school soon. Its a lot for you, but even more for her to handle.
That said, she does not have the right to scream about it. She can feel anyway she wishes but she cannot scream. If she feels the need to express herself loudly, send her to her room. Explain to her that feelings are okay, screaming is unacceptable. She is using the noise to control a situation that she has no control over, her little sister screaming along is a big bonus. I would discipline her for screaming, especially when her sister joins her. I don't believe in spanking, I would take away privileges and she would definitely be sent out of living areas should she choose to scream. As for in public, if she is going to have tantrums in public, talk to her about her limited outings and freedoms. There will be no toy or candy purchases unless there is no screaming. Should she choose to scream while shopping, she will be excluded from the next fun outing to the park etc. She is old enough to understand how her behavior determines other's reactions. Best wishes, and congrats (I'm a little jealous, I have three boys, love them, would have wanted a girl too though)

Answer 2

well not all children are thrilled but they'll get used to it. but just make them comfortable about it


Charianna feels like she will be pushed aside or have to give something up. I would scedule at least one hour twice a week that just the two of you do something together without the other girls. She was pretty used to being the only child and then babies just started coming and never seem to stop. She probably feels pretty overwhelmed. Have your "Ladies Lunch" etc even after the new babies come (it will be hard but sooo worth it). Help her feel like she is still very special to you and help her understand that she will always have a special place in your heart as your first baby, a place that no one else can ever take. Maybe even call her My First Baby as a nickname for now. Respect that she is still only 5, we don't mean to but we sometimes see our older ones as A LOT older when a little one arrives. She will not gain age, experience, wisdom or maturity just becaues YOU have new babies, let her still be little when she needs to and help her feel like she is special to you. That will probably help. She is facing a lot, new babies (4 in 3 yrs) and maybe starting school soon. Its a lot for you, but even more for her to handle.
That said, she does not have the right to scream about it. She can feel anyway she wishes but she cannot scream. If she feels the need to express herself loudly, send her to her room. Explain to her that feelings are okay, screaming is unacceptable. She is using the noise to control a situation that she has no control over, her little sister screaming along is a big bonus. I would discipline her for screaming, especially when her sister joins her. I don't believe in spanking, I would take away privileges and she would definitely be sent out of living areas should she choose to scream. As for in public, if she is going to have tantrums in public, talk to her about her limited outings and freedoms. There will be no toy or candy purchases unless there is no screaming. Should she choose to scream while shopping, she will be excluded from the next fun outing to the park etc. She is old enough to understand how her behavior determines other's reactions. Best wishes, and congrats (I'm a little jealous, I have three boys, love them, would have wanted a girl too though)

Answer 3

Have you gotten them involved in actually looking at the baby scans in the office to see the miracle? Make them a part of the solution not the problem, by getting involved with decorating for baby, picking out names in books, writing a story about themselves to give to the new born, etc. Kids are resilliant and will always bounce back. Sometimes when you are # 1, it is hard to take a back seat twice. What about me??? syndrome. They still feel like they need to be #1 sometimes, and should be.
Place a picture in their minds so that they can visualize what you are communicating to them. Let them read a story or make up one at bed time and have them to read to the unborn so that the baby will recognize their voice when born. Give them something positive to look forward to being a part of and have them to share what they did for the baby to others. By talking about their experiences, brings acceptance by them to the unknown. I will be ok.

Answer 4

She could be afraid that you attention will be more focused on the twins then on her. Perhaps she is afraid that mommy won't love her anymore or as much as the new babies. Since she is 5 years old I doubt she understands much of what is happenning. Try getting her some coloring books with babies in them and try to explain to her that mommy loves everyone the same and that God wanted mommy to be pregnant so Charianna could be a big sister.

Answer 5

I desire you are kidding. It's when you consider that of guys such as you that well fathers like my husband must battle tough in courtroom to get a few style of custody in their baby. My husband hates his ex however he might on no account dream of giving up his son. If you did not like her, you'll have stored your pants zipped. Be a person, get your head on instantly, optimistically you've got a task, and support this woman together with her being pregnant and baby.

Answer 6

She may be reacting like that because she doesn't want to have so many siblings!! She might feel that now she doesn't get any attention cause she's the oldest!!! Try talking it out with a person who can handle those situations like councilers!!!( i might have spelt it wrong but they're people who work in schools helping kids out with problems!)

Answer 7

my cousin was very upset when she found out her mother was pregnant ( this happens a lot to young children) they feel like you will forget abt them and not give them any love and attention after you have another baby.. its natural, you can comfort them by telling them how much you love them but for the most part it is natural for them to react this way and there isnt much that you can do abt it... GOOD LUCK! they will get over it soon.

Answer 8

Just tell her that she will have someone to play with and that she can teach them how to do the things she likes to do! When the babies get here she'll love them she will realize that she was wrong and that it is not as bad as it sounds.