my best friend is a depressed, suicidal cutter. and i am at a loss for what to do about him. he can't and won't go to his parents because he's terrified of mental instituions, and the school counselor didn't do anything when a couple mutual friends of ours went and talked to her about him. the only thing that did was make him not trust us anymore, so i don't know just how suicidal he's feeling. he keeps dropping hints that something might happen to him over the summer, and i am concerned. i have no idea what to do, i want to help him. all of his friends who know (my self included) have let him know just how much we care, and it just goes in one ear and out the other. he's really sensitive about these matters. he utterly flipped out when we went to the guidance counselor. he has mentioned that he would like help, but i don't know who to go to. does anyone have any ideas for what i can do for him?
2007-06-02 08:49:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
this is a sensitive situation, and i know because i've been there. in addition, i'm currently working towards a PhD in psychology.
sometimes depression gets you so low that you don't have the energy to get help. you want the pain to stop, but you can't get up the energy to make things better. in addition, you're in such a pessimistic state, that you don't believe that things can get better.
the best bet is for him to see a therapist, but sometimes people don't want to be stigmatized by seeing one. maybe you should find out about group therapy that might be going on in your town/city and to join him in a few sessions there. this would show that you care and that you aren't afraid to go see a therapist also. this kind of follow-through might really get him to go.
it's a big burden to bare when your friend is depressed, it might be good for you to talk to someone, as well.
i hope your friend can pull through.
2007-06-02 09:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by CockyBastard 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the sad fact of the matter is that you can't do anything. He has to want help, he has to seek it out. If he won't do even that much for himself, there is nothing you can do for him. When he drops his little hints, you can suggest that if he really feels that way he should get some help, and then don't discuss it further, make it apparent that you won't be manipulated. Often dropping those sorts of hints is nothing more than attempt to gain pity and sympathy, and if you feed into that, you encourage him to continue the behavior. Depression, cutting disorders, suicidal ideation, all are essentially dysfunctional cries for attention. Until he realizes how destructive his behaviors are he isn't going to stop. Until he really wants to change and get help, no one can help him. the guidance counsellor was a good idea, but he should have gone, not you. the counsellor was right not to do anything based on what you had to say, but they are trained to help those that need help, unfortunately, they too know they can't help unless the person needing help asks them.
so, hard as it may seem, you can't do anything for him other than encourage him to get help and do not encourage his attention getting behaviors. If it is stressing you out alot, you might want to get counselling for yourself.
2007-06-02 09:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really care about this person, tell him that if he doesn't quit saying these 'threats', that you'll have to monitor his every move. He obviously needs attention. If you're committed to helping him (no pun intended), tell him that he HAS to check in with you every day. Not text messages, not a phone call or email, but IN PERSON. He will realize that you care. Now, if he takes advantage of you, and needs more of your attention, then tell him the next step is, that he'll have to check in with a counselor. He may snap out of it because he'll realize he's being overly dramatic. I hope this helps you. Of course, don't do this if you don't think you can, or if he'll rebel against this idea. In that situation, call a crisis intervention agency. Look in your local phone book, I guarantee there's a number listed. Good luck!
2007-06-02 09:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by flip4it 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell his parents. If he is already cutting himself then the only next step is killing himself. Telling his parents might put him in a mental hospital but it might be the only way he can get help. He might even hate you in the beginning but he will get over it. You can even try a intervention. I hope this helps.
2007-06-02 09:01:14 · answer #4 · answered by bettyaboop510 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's letting you know he needs and wants help. You need to continue to be there for him but I would really urge you to find someone you can trust and seek their help. If you can't go to his parents then what about yours? I know that he may be angry but it's worth the risk. I wish you and your friend all the best.
2007-06-02 09:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
idk what to tell you. he obviously has some problmes in his life that he needs to work out. cutting himself isnt the answer though. he (not to sound rude/mean) needs some help. like a professional. theres nothing you can really do. sorry to say, but he has to deal w/ his problmes on his own. i know you're worried, but if he kills himself, its not your fault. HE has to deal w/ it.
2007-06-02 09:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by Katy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know thats really sad i hope things work out 4 ur friend and i know what ur going throw i had a friend who cut and i used to cut my self i stoped tho please let me know how he does
2007-06-02 10:57:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell his parents.
2007-06-02 10:52:45 · answer #8 · answered by hilary 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Introduce him to Jesus.
2007-06-02 08:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by mot_85711 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you shouldnt help him, he likes it, it helps him..
2007-06-03 20:19:42 · answer #10 · answered by Deleted 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋